My husband assaulted me please help

United States
March 29, 2012 7:46pm CST
My husband scratched the skin all off of my face, and threw me on the floor and my head hit it hard. I wanted to call the police, but changed my mind bc I don't wan tmy neighbors to know he hurt me, and he is paying the bills and rent, and I cannot pay it right now although I have been doing some kind of work. What am I going to do, my face is all messed up, I don't want anyone to see me, and I take my daughter to school and puck her up, and I know the people and teachers ther ewill notice my face, and I just don't want to go out in public, I cannot cover my face. How can I get out of this situation???? I don't have money to do do, please pray for me everyone. i know I will overcome this. I just want to move on with my life, bc I know I deserve someone better. I don't even know what to do.
5 people like this
23 responses
@dodo19 (46670)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
30 Mar 12
I'm really sorry to hear about what happened. I don't know comfortable I'd feel staying with him, if I were in your situation. I'm not saying that it's going to be easy leaving, if it's what you choose to do, but I do feel that it's perhaps the best thing to do. I'm sure that there's someone like family member or friend, who could help you out, until you figure things out better.
30 Mar 12
according to me, first u should have to know why it happend......it's your mistake or your husband mistake.... talk to your family members and your husband and manage itself if its not going properly then u should have to take another step....means police..
@dorannmwin (36393)
• United States
30 Mar 12
Was this the first time that he has abused you? The reason that I ask that is because of the fact that a couple years ago my husband and I got into a really bad fight and I ended up bruised from my neck to my waist. However, I didn't leave because of the fact that we have two children and I don't want to hurt them. If it is the first time that he has hit you, I would give him another chance, but in the mean time I would start saving as much money as possible for if it happens again. Now, my husband has never hit me again, but we do have other serious problems that are going on in our relationship, and I might have to leave yet, but the reasons are not the same as they would have been then.
@neildc (17243)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
30 Mar 12
i know this is difficult to decide within a short span of time. but if you will not make a move now, you only give him reasons to do it again. you can go pack up your things and report the incident to the police. you can also start by going to the government hospital to check your condition and get a medical certificate so in any case, you have proof of evidence of the battery.
@Cherish14 (2693)
• Philippines
30 Mar 12
omgee!!! how many times has he been doing this to you? how long have yo been suffering like this? i have learned that, once a boy hits you for the first time, he can do it again no matter how many times he apologizes t you and swears never to do it again. he will do it again. he must be doing this to yo knowing you are not leaving him and that no matter what yo will still be there for him. don't tolerate that attitude and please if yo can't even report that to a police, leave him or divorce him. i am so sorry if this is my advice to you but i think no one here on mylot wants you to still be with him. at least go to your family, they will embrace you and help you get through this.
@Zer0Stats (1309)
• India
30 Mar 12
First,I'm sorry.You do not need that.Second,pack your stuff and GET OUT.Go stay with a friend or family member.Your relationship can be restored,but you guys need counseling first.
@esor50 (115)
30 Mar 12
he is not worth to be your husband.he should be the first one to protect you.he had already the guts to scratch your face.just a peace of advice,don't expect from now on that he will change.so it's better to leave him.you must have a great deal of strength and have your own life.maybe the reason you can't leave him is that you love him so much.don't let him abuse you that much.go and report him to the police,or to a department in your country and report for it.you are physically,emotionally and socially battered.wake up my friend..you were not raised and loved by your parents to be a punching bag.give reservations and love yourself..take care..
@lynboobsy11 (11337)
• Philippines
30 Mar 12
I've been in that situation before for almost 15 years were not married but I have a child on him. Like you I have no choice but to stay on him because of financial problem I have to provide my own money for my other child that not from him. Later before I decided to get away from him I don't mind him at all so that he will not beat me whenever we are arguing. As much as possible I don't make arguments on him so that there is no war between us. On my part it is the advantage although I'm hurt inside on don't mind him but I just thought I have to love my self first and don't let this crazy man hit me again.
• United States
30 Mar 12
I am so sorry for what happened to you but I think you should definitely call the cops and get away from this horrible man. Go live with some family members until you can get back on your feet; you should NOT STAY with him. There must be someone that can help you. Report him, get out of that house, and make sure that you do not go back. I wish you all the best and I hope that you get some help.
@sid556 (30962)
• United States
30 Mar 12
You need to report this and you need to go to your local woman's crisis center. They will help you and help you to get all the help you need and get away from this monster. They helped me a lot when I was trying to get away from my husband and I had 3 children at the time.
@cupkitties (7422)
• United States
30 Mar 12
You need to call the police and you need to go see a doctor. I think either the doctor or police will take photographs of your wounds since its a domestic violence case. He may pay the rent or bill, but you also have a child to protect. Even if you don't care about yourself, think of her. There are women's shelters if you have no family to go to. I'm sure the police can help you with that when you call them. You're going to have to forget about your current appearance for now and realize something more important is at stake here.
• United States
30 Mar 12
You should seek help do you have any family or relatives?
@timetravel (1425)
• United States
30 Mar 12
I will add to what the others here are saying - Get out! Take your child! I don't know what country you are in, but aren't there any shelters for battered women? If not, call the police, press charges - get him out of the house. He will still be responsible for the bills for a while. Or is there a family member who can take you in temporarily? People will notice and someone else might call the police.
• Indonesia
30 Mar 12
I'm sorry for your condition, may God help you my friend
• United States
30 Mar 12
I just got out of a situation like this. I completely understand what you are going through. I was in a relationship with my soon to be ex-husband. The first thing that I would do if I were you is get some clothes and necessaties packed up and go to a reletives. Take your daughter. You two deserve so much better. Go to the DHS office in the morning or monday and tell them what happened. You need to file a report with the police or if you decide to divorce the court won't believe you. File for an order of protection for you and your daughter through the courts to keep him from you. If you do call the police they will make him leave for the night if he has money to go to a hotel. Please don't feel ashamed. The best thing is to call the cops, file a report, get restraining order, and move on. The courts and DHS will help you only if you tell them what is going on.
@lady1993 (27151)
• Philippines
30 Mar 12
Why did he hurt you? You should call the police at once, while you still have evidence that he hurt you.Your life and health is more important, and what if he hurts your child next...You can just stay with you friends or family in the meantime...
@marie2052 (3691)
• United States
30 Mar 12
I have been in the very situation you were in. I was married to an a**h*** for over 19 months. I thank God every day there were not children from that marriage because I would have had to deal with him even if I left him til the children were adults First you should call the police. he assualted you. you have a good case because he left marks on you. Even though he is paying the bills, you can get help from a womens center Some will even have a safe house to help you. Once you have a established an assault if he were to do it again then you can get a restraining order against him. A lot of women live in this situation thinking it will get better or they cant leave because they don't make any money and want to raise their children/ without knowing where you live, there are multiple programs to assist batter and abused women and children. I was strong enough to kick my ex out. I remember it like it was yesterday when i stood up to him. I just told him to leave. take the car, tv anything he wanted except MY two girls. He asked me where he was supposed to go I said I did not care go down the street to the park, live in a sewer or go to my parents house and stay. He laughed at me and said If I take the car you won't be able to get around I said I have friends and I have feet. then he said you don't have a job. I told him I would have a job by the end of the day. I did too. I became a bartender in a very small tavern down in a historical town I lived in. I worked from 6pm to 2am and then came home and got up at 8 am so I could take my babysitter that stayed the nights home. Don't worry about the neighbors. Sometimes neighbors will rally around you before any family will I learned that the hard way. But the biggest thing is taking the first step to freedom of abuse. Feel free to message me if you need to talk. I have been told for all I have went through in my life I am a very strong woman. I definately don't take any crap off any man. My life is to short to be abused.
@Bluedoll (16822)
• Canada
30 Mar 12
You should not try to hide this but bring it out into the open. At the very least contact a social worker of some kind and let them decide for you what is best. This is a problem both of you are having and if you don't deal with it now it will only get worse. He must feel bad now but he should deal with his temper. You on the other hand have a responsibility to protect yourself and someone else that might be subject to his acts, perhaps even your daughter? You never know. So I think someone needs to address this other than you.
@safety69 (592)
• Taiwan
30 Mar 12
Ohhh my God , I am so sorry for that, he doesnt have the right to hit you , dont let this happend again , go to the police please, they need to see you or they might be a violence women department . dont let this take time , your face is the prove that he abiused you, dont be afraid, they will help you , there must be a center for women and kids , stop this , all is in your hands, GO TO THE POLICE DONT WAIT A MINUTE MORE GO... I cant stand that a man hit a woman, this are other times. Good luck . God bless you. Do this for yourself and for your daugher, You worst a lot, you are so pressious, you are a QUIN to the God s eyes, dont let this man put you down.
@koopharper (7391)
• Canada
30 Mar 12
This is horrible. I checked and you are in the United States. There are women's shelters and I would advise calling one or whatever domestic abuse hotline you can find immediately. They will give you clear practical advice and hopefully help. I honestly think they will help you get out of danger and make sure your basic needs are taken care of and then help you take the needed legal action. I'm no expert but I don't think you should wait because this will not stop it'll only get worse.
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
30 Mar 12
I think it would be a good idea if just reported him to the police coz he might hurt you physically again sooner! Do you have any family near you? You should seek help from them and tell them about your problem.