Start working on Baby shower number two tomorrow and
By jillhill
@jillhill (37353)
United States
April 14, 2012 4:43pm CST
my heart is just not in it. The shower will be in May for my niece. Last Feb, 2011 she got married in the court house in the town where she lives in Tennessee...then they flew up here to Minnesota and renewed their vows in front of their parents at the Mall of America wedding chapel..Last August we had a shower for her....then on Labor Day weekend everyone flew down to Tennessee for the weekend and they had a reception. Well I gave a gift for the shower and helped with the expenses....and made alot of the decorations etc. For her wedding we all got together and got her Paula Deen cookware and I gave her another special gift just because. So far none of us has recieved a Thank You....I waited thinking that at Christmas they would send a Christmas card with their wedding photo on it and it would say thanks....but no...Now she is expecting and my sister asked us to give her a baby shower...she will be coming up in May. I have to work that weekend..will have to drive an hour and a half to be there after work. Then there is all the preparations and the expense involved with the food etc. I would probably been a little more excited had I heard one word of thanks so far....but nope. We are more doing this for my sister then for my niece. Would you feel a bit disheatened if you never heard a thank you for anything you have done so far?
3 people like this
14 responses
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
28 Apr 12
I am responsible for a baby shower right now and if you were helping me...I would give you all kinds of love..LOL. I would be disheartened if I were working my tail off to make a perfect event for someone and they acted as though they didn't care. You just come on over here. I could use some creative influences.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
17 Apr 12
I would be very disheartened and it would be quite difficult for me to be able to have my heart in throwing another party for a person that doesn't seem to appreciate everything that has been done for them already.
Now, I will admit that I have a tendency to be quite slow when it comes to sending out thank-you notes. However, I always make sure to tell the people that gave gifts to me some verbal thank-yous as soon as I can after the event.
1 person likes this
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
15 Apr 12
Yes, I would be upset with the entire situation because it's just so easy to say thank you or send a thank you note. Takes very little effort. Have you said anything to your sister about how you feel? Sometimes just dropping hints might get her attention so you can let your sister know all the work you've done and the expense. Don't blame you for having your feelings hurt. You want to be my aunt? lol
@danishcanadian (28954)
• Canada
1 May 12
Everyone who works hard for someone deserves to be thanked, and in my family, we all know it. We are always thanking eachother for the things that we do for others, and we are always being thanked for what we have done. If someone was not thankful, and did not express their thanks for what we have done, I would not be in the mood to do much for them either.
@jillhill (37353)
• United States
1 May 12
We are not doing your typical shower...we are having an open house shower where everyone can come and eat and if they want wait for her to open gifts..no games etc. Just getting together...three desserts with party favors and coffee and lemonade...that's it....
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
15 Apr 12
Wow, I would be disheartened as well. Have you talked to your sister about how you are feeling about this? I mean maybe there is something you don't know, not that I am giving excuses, but sometimes things happen. Like I had a friend who got married right after school was over, but we couldn't make it to the wedding, so I asked what his address is so I could send his gift. Well, with spring cleaning, Passover, and the feast, I completely forgot and I am looking at the gift now, and going to find what I did with the address so I can send it.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
15 Apr 12
Oh, then I'd say just get together with your sister and see what she is going to do and let her know how hurt you are, she may give you the solution herself and tell you to do nothing for your niece.
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
15 Apr 12
I would never and never did expect a shower, reception, or anything else for that matter! My mom and dad wanted the big wedding, reception and paid for the food and the band. Then there was the wedding dress, the shoes, the booze. Friends gave us the limo service. I didn't think of it in terms of raking in the gifts like this young lady obviously is! I wouldn't be thinking of any obligations for her!
1 person likes this
@cher913 (25781)
• Canada
14 Apr 12
i would tell them sorry, that you just don't have the time (or energy) to do it justice. i know how you feel. last year, i had to make a total of something like 200 shower invitations (one baby shower, one bridal shower) for our church and by the time i was winding down with the bridal shower invites, i just was so tired (and didn't get a thank you either for all that work), so i probably wouldn't do it again if i was asked.
@lynboobsy11 (11343)
• Philippines
15 Apr 12
A little bit upset about that she does not acknowledge your effort. Anyway sometimes we have this kindness to others and we don't expect things in return as you said your doing it for your sister, I know she appreciate you for that. 
@ladym33 (10978)
• United States
14 Apr 12
Yes, I would be disheartened by that. Did she at least give verbal thank you's at the time of the shower? That is really in bad taste not to send thank you's to people. I think at this next shower you should say in a very subtle and polite way don't forget to send thank you cards out to everyone, or make sure that you say. "Now let's write down a list so that you know what everyone has given you so you can send thank you notes to everyone."
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
15 Apr 12
I sure would and i would have called and asked.."by chance i think your Thank you card must have been lost in the mail cause it never got here"..just to see what she would say of course..I was like you..did for others all the time and realized..wait no one is forcing me to do this..and i kept doing it and getting more upset till the day i said NO..i just can't do it anymore..so now i say No more often and if it upsets anyone..i've learned that it is them taking advantage of me while i allowed it..i have no more hurtful feelings and I go to these showers or whatever knowing it will be done by someone else who wants to do it..!..By the way..it isn't a set in stone thing that someone else has to be a Hostess other then the Mother..she can do it for her daughter..i and many of my friends did it for our daughters for their weddings and baby showers..Rest when you can and hugs!
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
15 Apr 12
Sure would! I understand things get busy and all.. but at the very least a phone call to say thanks would be nice or something. I know I'm awful at thank you notes.. but I do try to do phone calls or e-mails or something.
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
15 Apr 12
She doesn't sound like the sort who would send out "Thank You" cards--or even call and express her gratitude. She renewed her vows in a place that worships consumerism; I think that choice says a lot about how she sees the world.
If you're not feeling like doing the baby shower, don't. Simply tell her mother that you just don't feel up to it, which is true.
@laken02 (3065)
• United States
15 Apr 12
that is why i get so upset with my oldest dauhgter she never ever says thank you to others who help her out unless she wanys something else from them. she is very selfish and only thinks of herself, i got her a job interview for yesterday where i work and she never showed up did not care how it made me look or never mind the fact she is broke and needs the money bad.. but she just dont care.. she's 21 and a big bum.. and there is nothing else i can do .. until she wants to do for herself
and stop being lazy.. and get a job..
@mariab2000 (740)
• Canada
15 Apr 12
I would definitely be disheartened if I didn't get any thank you either. It is really in bad taste if she didn't thank anyone. I wouldn't want to participate in anything related to someone who doesn't appreciate what we do for them but I kind of understand you want to do it for your sister's sake...
