I'm not supposed to tell, but I'm going to anyway.
By Amber
@AmbiePam (85739)
United States
June 12, 2012 1:40pm CST
She told me not to tell, but she's been telling people, even on Facebook. So I don't think telling people on Mylot (people who don't even know my sister) will be a big deal. What am I talking about? First of all, if you have a short attention span, just go ahead and tell me about the times you told something you were supposed to keep a secret.
Now back to my main point. My sister and brother-in-law got a baby about two months ago from foster care. I think it's almost been 2 months. They decided to go through foster care, and they knew the likelihood was low they'd get a baby at all. They had decided to be open to getting any child nine or under. And if the child had a sibling, they'd take the sibling too. However, one day when they were at an appointment with their social worker, a lady was holding a baby. The lady said the baby was ready to be placed into a home, and asked if my sister and BIL were interested. Long story short, they eventually welcomed her into their home. She's adorable! She is now 11 months old. She was born premature, and she is still on oxygen at night because of the development of her lungs. She also has what they call a Micky hole in her stomach. They feed her through that hole. 90% of the food goes through the stomach, and they feed her 10% orally. Eventually, she will have the hole closed, and will be just like every other child.
She's also black. But who cares? The chance of getting a baby was slim, the chance of getting a white baby is almost impossible when you go through foster care. But none of us cared about that. Black, white, Hispanic...they didn't care. She was put in foster care because her mother neglected her and her dad is in jail for gangbanging. One of the baby's great aunts called to check on her and was delighted to hear my sister and BIL were trying to adopt her. The aunt is a good person, but she's too old to be taking care of a child that requires so much work.
We're not allowed to post a picture of her until she is fully adopted. Hopefully, by July 11th the parent's rights will be terminated and she'll fully be my sister's. I'll refer to her as 'A' since that is what her name starts with. She is a beautiful, happy baby. And she's just what my dad needed to cheer him up. She came with us last week on vacation and he just held her and loved her. I couldn't get enough of her either.
My sister seems to be doing great as a mom. She still bites her husband's head off, but she's great with the baby.
Okay, so now your secret. The one you weren't supposed to tell. And isn't it cool I'm an aunt?
10 people like this
33 responses
@psychoartist (756)
• United States
12 Jun 12
this is a great story, ambipam! i used to teach foster and adoptive parenting classes and have always been interested in adoption, but fear that now the psychoartist is too old to start over with babies! this is fantastic, congrats to you, your sister and brother in law and your entire family!
2 people like this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
13 Jun 12
That is fantastic! A is chocolate! Fantastic! I'm so happy for you all. What great news!
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
14 Jun 12
The saleslady has to get with it! This is the 21st century! little girls come in Every hue and sometimes their hue is different than their mom's or dad's. Thankfully there are chocolate baby dolls! I even seen an Asian doll. The next step? Latino dolls! If this saleslady isn't ready for this , she will soon be out of a job!
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
14 Jun 12
You should give brother in law a Soon to be Father's Day card!
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Jun 12
what a wonderful caring family you have. its a great thing to have such a sweet family. I do have secrets, but if i put them on here it wouldnt be a secret
dont tell anyone but if i could id be a cougar for Johny Depp
thats one secret. ok? hugs, bon
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
23 Jun 12
I don't have any good secrets right now but when I get one..I will come here to share. I think it's great that your sister has adopted a baby that really needed a home. There are far too many children out there suffering without families. Babies have a way of brightening the room for me too. Almost like magic.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (85739)
• United States
23 Jun 12
Thanks for your positivity. I did another discussion (Rights Terminated) and one poster starts talking about kids who are adopted all being trouble. And I'm like, I think that happens a lot when the kids are taken at an older age and have been abused. Not babies, and not all older kids. And she's like, no it's all the kids. Puh-lease!
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
24 Jun 12
Children are just little adults really. They go through emotional turmoil just like we do..they just don't have the same understandings about things that we do. If I were abused horribly or had to be hungry when mom and dad are getting high..I might lash out at others too. Maybe I would be jealous or maybe just plain angry. I might just be very sad..but that is usually not the first reaction. We have that fight or flight instinct that makes us do other things before we just give up and be sad.
My grandparents took me when I was a baby...thank goodness. I was probably a hand full if you can imagine that
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
19 Jun 12
hi dear Ambie thats really great news, congrats on being an aunt to A..... and I will count the days till July 11 when the parental rights for As biological parents will be terminated.
Just too bad you live 3,5 hours away from your sister and family so you wont see A too often I guess.
1 person likes this
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
19 Jun 12
didnt remember that July 11th, but now I do, and back to your question, no I never told secrets. They are safe with me....... LOL LOL LOL
1 person likes this
@PageTurner (2825)
• United States
12 Jun 12
Congratulations to your sister in their upcoming adoption, AmbiePam.
This is a very exciting time for your family, and I hope all the best things for the family and especially the new addition.
It is also nice that the baby's great aunt is being so supportive.
Has your sister chosen a name for the baby, or is she already named?
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (85739)
• United States
12 Jun 12
She was given a name on her birth certificate, but in case the family ever comes looking for her, they plan to make her current name her middle name, while giving her a new first name. They'll still call her 'A', but if someone is looking, they'll only see the first name, which will be new. Because it's not like 'A''s name is common like Amanda, or Amber, which is mine. 'A''s name is pretty distinctive.
1 person likes this
@PageTurner (2825)
• United States
12 Jun 12
I am very happy for your family, AmbiePam. This is joyous news!!!!
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
21 Jun 12
My secret that I am not supposed to tell anyone? LOL.....my oldest sister picked me up from the airport to take me to my brother's who kept my car while I was on vacation. We hadn't gotten far when she tells me.....don't tell anyone but I am in financial dire straights! (again for about the 10th time) Last time she filed bankruptsy she filed on a quarter million in credit card debt....and she is just about that high again. She is 63 years old. Owes more on her house now then when she bought it...since she is not here I can tell you! LOL.....SOS...different day...or year!
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
13 Jun 12
Congratulations Auntie!
I have to say when you made that remark about short attention span I was thinking "oh my, mine will kick in." As soon as I started reading it though, I breezed right on through.
It's great that your sister and brother in law have adopted a baby, and I am hoping that your sister focuses on the baby and maybe she won't bit her husband's head off as much.
So the baby was born with a micky hole in her stomach? Do the doctor's know what may have caused it? I mean I assume that since the mother neglected the baby, and the father was a gang banger, chances are maybe the mother was on something, or the father, and that was an effect? I don't know I've never heard of a mickey hole.
1 person likes this
@5mahi05 (666)
• India
13 Jun 12
Awww! I am happy for you, your happy family and yes, obviously your very own sister and your BIL. I am glad that they found themselves a small baby in the foster care. If they had got a little grown up kid, then I wonder if the kid would be all their's forever as the child would know that he/she was once adopted by these great people. And your sister and BIL would be god in the kid's eyes than parents.
Regarding the secret, Damn! How can I actually hold this much happiness back?! If I were you, I would have shouted about the secret all over in spite of being held back not to tell! 
Congrats on being an aunt!
Congrats on being an aunt! 1 person likes this
@BabyCheetah (1911)
• Australia
14 Jun 12
I don't really have any secrets to share with you but just had to post and say that this was such a lovely post. Thank you for sharing and I hope all goes well for your sister and the new baby. I'm sure she wouldn't mind you sharing this though since as you said we don't know you or her so it's all good.
1 person likes this
@bdimm1 (1)
• United States
15 Jun 12
Wow! That is so amazing! It's so heartwarming to hear that people that want to be parents are getting children through these type of agencies! I bet they are extremely happy and excited! It's even more heartwarming to know this baby has finally been put in a good home where she will be taken good care of! Don't forget as an aunt you got to spoil her a lot! :)
@GardenGerty (157710)
• United States
12 Jun 12
So cool that you are an aunt. Unfortunately there are too many children in foster care that do not have the hope that "A" has of a forever home with lots of loving family. I do not have any secrets. I am just as transparent as can be.
@AmbiePam (85739)
• United States
12 Jun 12
Sometimes I'm too transparent. I think even my parents might have thought, okay Amber, we didn't need to know all that.
I'm just sorry my mom isn't able to full appreciate being a grandmother. She loves "that baby". She can't remember A's name, so she always says, I love that baby. I miss that baby.
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
12 Jun 12
That's great! I hope it all works out and they're able to adopt the baby permeanently.
That is how my husband and his sister were adopted, they were both foster children. I don't know if my in-laws fostered hubby before he was adopted or not, I think he was outright adopted at around 6 months old. His parents chose the adoption. His sister was abandoned at birth so her adoption was more complicated. They had to wait a period of time to ensure the birth mother wouldn't come back for her. I think she was closer to 2 when she was adopted.
The in laws had fostered other children as well, but I think that was before hubby and his sister were adopted.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (85739)
• United States
13 Jun 12
That's kind of the thing with A. If her birth mother would just terminate her rights, they could adopt now. But she neither wants the baby, nor wants to bother to sign away her rights. So they have to wait a period of time before her rights become terminated "naturally".
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
12 Jun 12
You guys are amazing people, you have a big heart and somehow you made it different for this little baby A... i know there are so many kids in the orphanage, even here in our country and these kids needs a home for them to be loved and grow up.
congratulations for being an Aunt now, i know you will become a great Aunt.. 
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (85739)
• United States
12 Jun 12
It's the same sister! It's hard to describe her to people because she is two very different people in one body. On one hand you have the loving woman who is a good mom. On the other hand you have a woman who yells at her husband for ever single thing he does that is not perfect. On vacation my dad kept laughing and finally I asked him why. He said he just can't believe Jeff puts up with Mindy. My dad thinks he's quite amazing for that. Just driving with them made me nervous. She was biting his head off every other second. But she loves that baby!
@Professor2010 (20162)
• India
21 Jun 12
Thanks for sharing my friend in great details
Congrats to you and your sister, a baby is a unique gift from the Almighty..
Let’s enjoy life to fullest.
Professor ‘*^Bhuwan^*’. .
in great details
Congrats to you and your sister, a baby is a unique gift from the Almighty..
Let’s enjoy life to fullest.
Professor ‘*^Bhuwan^*’. .
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
12 Jun 12
That is super exciting for all of you! Congratulations. =) I am glad the baby found a great home with your sister. That is incredible! I am so happy for you.
I wish there were more people that were able to adopt like that. If I ever have the money I would like to adopt too. Foster homes are no place for innocent children that never asked to be brought into this world. I am so glad there are people like your sister who adopts! =)
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (85739)
• United States
12 Jun 12
They went through foster care and DHS because it was free. Now free is misleading. Open adoption and overseas adoption is super expensive and they couldn't afford that. So they went through DHS. But like you have to make sure your house is up to their code. Which might require repairs you'd never think necessary. Luckily, they just had a few things like closing up an open space in the back of their house. Then, they give you money for formula and everything, but NOT until you are so far into the process. So you're paying for it for a while before you get repaid. So it's free, and it's not free. One thing that is without a doubt free is the health care. And when it's a foster child, even after you adopt, they give you free child health care until they are eighteen. I think it's supposed to be an incentive for people to go through foster care for adoption.
My sister was 27 when she got married, but when she turned 31 with no baby in sight, they decided to try to adopt. She's 33 now and he's 41. She thinks it's her that is keeping them from conceiving, but I think it's him. She lost a whole bunch of weight, but he's really large. And truthfully, maybe they were only meant to adopt. However, I don't know how many times I've heard of women adopting and then getting pregnant right after that. So you never know.
