Just GROW UP will you!

@ElicBxn (63194)
United States
September 3, 2012 4:49pm CST
So, the new roommate did it again. She picked up something that wasn't hers and drank it. Fine, not good, but not bad. But she lied about it! She says she picked up the bottle by accident, and we can believe that, after all, the bottles were exactly the same. But one bottle had cranberry/cherry juice in it and the other had diet citrus tea in it. She should've taken one taste, said "oh, this isn't mine" and brought it back. But, she drank it. As I said, that's not the problem. The roomie picked up the other bottle, took a sniff and knew it was not hers. She called her and told her that she took the wrong bottle. "No, I have mine," the new roomie said. "No, yours is here, you took mine. Come and get it." She comes in and goes to pick up her bottle. "Go get mine first so you don't mix them up," the roomie told her. She goes to her room and then says she drank it "by mistake." No, she might've picked it up by mistake, but she didn't drink it by mistake. She comes out, finally, with the empty bottle. "I got it by mistake." "No, you said you had yours in there, obviously that wasn't yours and you drank it anyway. Why did you lie to us?" Why are we having to tell her that taking the bottle wasn't the problem, it was lying about it. Heck, the 4 yr old great nephew would know better than to do that. "I picked it up by mistake," she said again (actually she said it a number of times.) We told her we believed that, and we didn't have a problem with THAT. We didn't even have a problem with her DRINKING it - it was LYING about it. She stood there pouting and finally turned and said in a huff. "Well, it'd matter if I cared about it!" and stormed off. I yelled after her. "GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE! AND NO DINNER FOR YOU EITHER!" Honestly, there's not much I can do about her eating, but she doesn't have to get the meatloaf the roomie is making tonight. (She makes GREAT meatloaf!) Why do I have to put up with a 51 year old BRAT????
6 people like this
17 responses
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
3 Sep 12
Sounds like my house . But when I lived in college we all had our shelves or put our names on it. We all ate different things, and sometimes get together for dinner. But if soomething like accidently taking something we would tell each other or say Ill buy you a new one.
4 people like this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
3 Sep 12
I agree, and if your parents didn't play favorites, you could say it was family - but this gal isn't even related to either of us!
3 people like this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
3 Sep 12
oh, and if she'd said "I'm sorry, I'll try to do better," that would've been it, but NOOOoooo!!!!
3 people like this
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
3 Sep 12
Exactly, a simple sorry, and said you would a new one. You can tell the difference between the two of them. I wonder how long she will be living with you guys.
3 people like this
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
4 Sep 12
Why do you put up with a 51 year old brat? Only you can answer that question.
4 people like this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
4 Sep 12
Because she doesn't really have any place else to live and if someone doesn't teach her to act like an adult sometime, she's going to end up really lonely.
2 people like this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
4 Sep 12
Because she doesn't really have any place else to live and if someone doesn't teach her to act like an adult sometime, she's going to end up really lonely.
1 person likes this
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
4 Sep 12
Good Luck.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157047)
• United States
3 Sep 12
What she said about caring is the whole core of the issue. She does not care about other people. She does care about being caught. You cannot legislate caring, you cannot demand caring. You can model caring, but at 51 she should be making that choice to care as much about others as she cares about herself.
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
4 Sep 12
She did care about getting caught. She came out and apologized and I told her that the 4 year old nephew knew better than to lie, what was her excuse...
3 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50975)
• Holiday, Florida
4 Sep 12
you dont have to if you dont want to, but is she mentally slow or challenged or what? sounds like she is. so you may have to change room mates again.
4 people like this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
4 Sep 12
She is more emotionally slow than mentally, but there does seem to be some mental issues as well. We are really willing to work with her because she really DOESN'T have any place to go.
3 people like this
@burrito88 (2774)
• United States
3 Sep 12
Reminds of two room mates when I was at Iowa State years ago. Fred was a grad student who was upset that his roommate Mike was always eating his stuff. Mike was a post doc mind you and earning two or three times what Fred was making as a grad student. Fred even tried hiding his potato chips in his closet but Mike would still get them and eat them.
4 people like this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
3 Sep 12
That's really sad. I wonder if Mike thought it was funny to upset Fred and did it just to get a rise. I can sort of understand it in younger people, especially some guys just fail to get out of high school until they are faced with the "real world". And for some, still being in school, even post doc might count....
3 people like this
@burrito88 (2774)
• United States
3 Sep 12
No, I can't say that Mike thought it was funny or was trying to get at Fred. I think he was just plain ignorant. Perhaps that's the same thing with your new roomie.
3 people like this
@trisha27 (3494)
• United States
3 Sep 12
That is sad that a 51 year old acts like that. I really hate it when people lie about really stupid stuff and at this point that was something stupid. Just be honest about it and don't lie. I mean come on you're a grown adult and there should be no reason to lie.
4 people like this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
3 Sep 12
That's part of the problem, her family never expected her to grow up, so she got away with acting like a spoiled brat. She's complaining about being old - she's the youngest in the household - and then acts worse than the 4 year old great nephew.
3 people like this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
4 Sep 12
SUre dont like a lier and when caught it is always worse when they dont tell the truth
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
5 Sep 12
probably was ya have to treat people the way you want to be treated am sure she dont like to be treated mean too maybe point this out to her but if she keeps it up she would b finding a ne place to live!
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
5 Sep 12
I can't figure out why she thinks she can get away with lies, they always come and bite you in the back (end.) I flat out told her that if this is how she behaved at the job she used to have, it was no wonder people treated her badly and why they let her go.
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
5 Sep 12
I heard her crying after she slammed her door and while later (when the food was about done) she came out and apologized. Like the mean "mommy" I am, I reminded her that this is what got her in so much trouble last spring and other stuff.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
13 Sep 12
I absolutely and positively could not share my home and everything in it with anyone. I can't imagine where you find the tolerance to do what you do. I have to admire you.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
13 Sep 12
If she's totally blind, how can she know if things are dirty? After reading the whole discussion, I think she is not skilled in social graces and hasn't learned how to live in a mixed household. She gets defensive when she's caught doing something wrong and makes up silly excuse/lies because that's what she's always done and gotten away with it. People have probably often felt sorry for her and so she has learned to feel sorry for herself, hence the tears. How's Maggie going?
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
13 Sep 12
When she came she was b!tching about how dirty things were, but we are always finding messes she's made, so I think she's not complaining as much
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (45226)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
4 Sep 12
Because you, in your kind-heartedness, promised her dying mother you'd take care of her, or something like that.
2 people like this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
4 Sep 12
You are so right! Well, we are going to try and retrain her. She says she was afraid she'd get in trouble. Well, she got in a LOT more trouble because she lied about it.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Sep 12
don't feel bad.i have a 67 year old brat. mom has even gone so far as to take a saved sandwich of my brother's,that had bites taken out,and just ate around it,exclaiming "i didn't think anyone wanted it".. um..he saved it in the fridge,i think he did want it..
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
9 Sep 12
Yikes! Glad I don't have that problem, being your mom would make things hard
• United States
4 Sep 12
Did I miss a recent discussion or something? You have a "new" roommate? Or am I getting this all confused, haha. I just remember the one that left that you had so much problems with. This one sounds like a real winner and I guess you have your hands full. She'll probably catch on eventually but I hope its soon for your sake. Not good to get that ol' blood pressure rising too much.
3 people like this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
5 Sep 12
You would think she'd figure that out, but no such luck! We are setting up the empty room as a guest room, I've got a futon/bunk bed, single on top and a futon on the bottom, its supposed to arrive some time this week!
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
4 Sep 12
this is the totally blind lady that moved in back in January.
2 people like this
• United States
4 Sep 12
Oh ok, I thought when you said "new" that you meant a new one that just moved in. You've been having trouble with this one for quite some time now and she STILL hasn't gotten it? I would go crazy.
2 people like this
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
4 Sep 12
I won't have a roommate. I did room with two men over the years and never again! The problem you are having would probaly be 1,000 times worse! I can't trust a person to room with! I would not have any privacy and i am sure I would end up with someone who finds excuses not to pay their share of the bills! These are the main reasons I live alone and hopefully will be able to forever!
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
4 Sep 12
She's not having a problem paying rent, then again, I drive her to the bank and have her take it out... but she suggests it. Of course, getting out is a big treat for her, she spent a lot of time trapped in Kaufman because it was a small town and had limited mobility for someone with no vision.
2 people like this
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
14 Sep 12
The new roomie sounds like a real piece of work! I hate dealing with people with bad attitudes and no consideration for others. If she had just apologized and meant it , the two of you could have let it go. Unfortunately, the reality is the situation is probably going to get worse. Maybe you can get a professional in to intervene?
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
15 Sep 12
I think she realized that we meant business so she really thought about what she said and how she acted. I think she meant it - but I suspect that it won't be the last time. She even admitted, to the roomie, that she was feeling a little jealous of the kids because they had been there both Sunday and Monday. And the roomie asked how it felt to be jealous of 2 kids under 5! Was that adult behavior? We are seriously considering getting some professional help. She had been going to see a lady before she got sick in April. The lady was a friend of our friend "B" who was taking her. "B" was talking to her friend and asked if she could talk about "D" to her. The friend said that she couldn't talk about what they talked about, but she'd listen to her. At which point "B" unloaded about how "D" was saying bad things about us that was just out right lies and she didn't know what to do about it. Then, when "D" was in the hospital some of the choir members came "B" to ask what they could do to help "D" because she was in "such a bad situation at home." "B" told them that "D" was "screwing over her roommates and she wasn't the right person to ask." Even her step-brother was very upset about how she was treating us!
@alaskanray (4636)
• United States
4 Sep 12
Sounds like my kid sister. Are you sure she doesn't have Asperger's?
3 people like this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
4 Sep 12
She might... I'm in the Asperger's spectrum myself, but I was expected to grow up, she was coddled because she was blind... That's no excuse here...
3 people like this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
4 Sep 12
Yes, we've noticed that she hears what she wants to hear, unless you call her on the carpet and make her repeat it and nonsense like that. If she decides she doesn't like something, she'll "drift" away, start humming or something. You have to make sure you have her undivided attention and keep it.
2 people like this
• United States
4 Sep 12
Yeah, my sister was coddled, too, cuz she was the baby of the family. Plus she was never diagnosed till she was 50 so early intervention never happened. Could be that this woman isn't hearing what is being said...my sister listens through filters and fails to hear what is really said, only what she thinks she hears. It's no excuse, I agree, which is why I've had to distance myself from my sister. But, if your roomie is going to stay with you, you need to figure out some way of dealing with her because at this late stage of the game, she isn't going to change.
3 people like this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
7 Sep 12
Just tell her to replace the bottle, no dinner is really kind of odd, unless she is going to make her own dinner.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
7 Sep 12
Oh, she is well able to make a TV dinner herself, and I would not stop her from doing that. But since she was acting like a teenager, a tweenie actually, I decided to treat her like one. It wasn't the drink that was the problem, it was the lying!
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Sep 12
hi elilcbxn thats so silly as shes an adult woman and why did she insist on lieing.af ter all you told her she still did n ot get it or is she just being willful?I hat e it when adults lie for no reason at all. I do not blame you for being upsetwith the l ying as she is a c ting like a child or a senile woman or just spoiled.[
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
5 Sep 12
a spoiled brat is what she's acting like, and tonight she ate one of my yoghurts... offered to give me one of hers - told her that I can't eat hers, that's why I have to buy this more expensive brand! stupid corn starch...
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
5 Sep 12
Sounds like she is a hand full. Lying would be the biggest thing for me too. I think withholding the meatloaf might maker her think about it though.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
5 Sep 12
I heard her crying after she shut her door, and she was crying when she came out and apologized to the roomie, so she got meatloaf after all.