For the love of a child.
By celticeagle
@celticeagle (189915)
Boise, Idaho
September 27, 2012 3:47pm CST
I was over in a nearby town probably twenty five years ago visiting a friend and we had a deep conversation about whether we would tell our kids about predators or not. She was of the opinion that she would never tell her kids. She wanted them to live idealic lives as long as they could. I disagreed feeling that age appropriately a child should be aware of what was going on in their world and that there were these types of people who could be dangerous.(Fast forward about fifteen years and her daughter was raped and mine never was. Sad, huh?)I am wondering how many of us Mylotters with families feel it is important to teach our kids how to react in a situation where they are apprehended or grabbed in a store or park. When Oprah was first on she would have a man on periodically that had written a book on how children can protect themselves from such things and I would have my granddaughter come in and watch it. Earlier this week on the news they said it is important to teach a child to yell out things like "He's not my father" and "help me!" And to kick and scream. It is very important to try to get the apprehender to let go of the child because if he gets away with the child it can be very dangerous and not end well. So, what are your thoughts? Do you tell your children these things? Do you feel this could never happen to your child? What are your thoughts.
5 people like this
15 responses
@ladym33 (10978)
• United States
27 Sep 12
I absolutely think we need to teach things to our children. This friend of yours was not preparing her children for the real world and unfortunately her daughter suffered the consequences of her lack of knowledge and probably too trusting nature. I had things happen to me when I was a kid and a young woman that made me definitely want to tell my kids that they need to be careful in all situations. I especially like the one where the kid screams that this is not their mommy or daddy so people realize that it is not just a kid throwing a temper tantrum and their parents pulling them out of the store. I have had many talks with my daughter about being careful, and I have also taught my son's to respect women and that no means no, we also have a family code word, and I have told them things that they can do if they are attacked to get away from an attacker.
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
28 Sep 12
I liked it where the kid screams that this is not their mommy or daddy so people realize that it is not just a kid throwing a temper tantrum too. And kids should never takes alleys and such on their way home. Never walk up to a car when someone stops for directions. And how to slip their arm out when someone grasps them. All important stuff now days.
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
30 Sep 12
YEs tell them only they can protect themeves if aware of the dangers have a hard time getting grand aughter to kno w who a starnger is every one is her friend we caution her or tel her right out you dont know that person e dont know tha eson that is a stranger you dont talk to them get away she has no fear hard when ya have a child like this my youngest son was the same way but he learned but then every stranger to him became a friend mos t of the time!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Oct 12
She could still be freindly but alert to any odd behaviour from strangers.
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
30 Sep 12
That is good that she is friendly and I hope nothing ever happens to change that. She still needs to know there are bad men/women out there.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
29 Sep 12
Yes it is very important there is no doubt about that. I was taught that and I taught my son that too. When he was little he used to run away from me, until when he was six he watched the movie with me of adam who was tortured and killed, he never moved from my side after that.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
29 Sep 12
Josh used to run away at night when he was supposed to go to bed. He'd run outside. That sure was fun! Not!! I recall that movie too. Poor kid! His dad is the one on America's Most Wanted. So sad!
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
28 Sep 12
Oh wow, no offense to your friend, but she wasn't living in reality. I mean ever since my kids were born, they had all kinds of preventive things from what to do in a fire to if a stranger offers them candy. I still have a 10 year-old and I tell him everything he needs to know, including that if he even "thinks" he is being watched, to run home, because I found recently a neighbor has had problems with heroin and I don't want him near my son..
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
28 Sep 12
Yes, there is that website call "familywatchdog.com" I think where we can located predators in the area. I know there is one that across the lake from me, but my son doesn't go there, not by himself..
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
28 Sep 12
She sure wasn't living in reality. SHe proved that more and more in the years that I knew her. There are ways you can check for predators in your area too.
1 person likes this
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
29 Sep 12
It is hard to hide the terrible things in the world from children. I used what was on regular TV to help with teaching mine. There would be people on the news caught for hurting children and, of course, my kids would see it on. I would actually say things like...and look...he looks like a normal person...or just think..you would never imagine they would do something like that. Just to raise their awareness. Little kids think that people that hurt look like monsters or are scary. They aren't. I also had a song that I would sing to raise their awareness. If there was man staring strangely at us or getting too close..even if it was innocent...I would freaky teaky boteaky..lol..and the girls would look for who it was. I taught them things from the time they could walk. My daughter what has a child says she wants to be just like I was with her daughter. I was very funny about them being alone with most anyone.
I say yes...teach those babies at a young age what is appropriate and what is not. I was even funny with their doctors over certain things.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
29 Sep 12
There was a guy named Kenneth Wooden on Oprah back in the mid 90's after his book Child Lures came out and he always had the greatest tips. I would have my granddaughter come in the house and watch his segment. And now they are always coming up with better ideas on what kids can do.
@sjvenden27 (1840)
• United States
8 Oct 12
My oldest knows all about strangers and what to do... Yes it is important for children to have a childhood; to feel safe and secure.. But unfornately there are a lot of dangers that around that can dampen that... I would rather have him dampen a little then one day no longer with me... knowledge is power and its better to be informed.. then to have my son walking around with this fairly tale version of the world..
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
9 Oct 12
Knowledge is power. And a child can be safe and still have a great time.
1 person likes this
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
29 Sep 12
I've always regretted having to tell my daughter, or granddaughters these types of things (how to stay safe!) but I think they are so necessary and I've always tried to pass on the attitude of awareness and hopefully, not to be too naive or uncareful (long around teenage years, which is the same time they don't seem as open to hearing advice). I think it's so less horrible to have a little terror hearing and thinking about these things, once in a while, but how much worse to actually experience it. So sad about your friend's daughter! But so fortunate to be alive! And what a horrible thing to be able to say.. It's been a while since I've thought about specifics for danger, etc. But this reminds me! Thank you!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
29 Sep 12
I think if you are proactive in other areas of your life then it all becomes normal and obvious. And being proactive is a good thing to teach kids too.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
28 Sep 12
I definitely think children should be told about 'bad people' who are out there that could harm them etc.U can not be to careful nowadays w/as many loonies that are out there ready to harm children.
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
27 Sep 12
i believe it happens to at least 4 out of 5 kids at one time or another. im sorry but i have seen so much of it in my 65 yrs. that im suspicious of everyone and yes, my mom had a hand in that to by keeping me on guard always. even tho she kept me on guard it happened 3 times in different incidents with me
so im a strong believer in scaring and keeping kids as safe as possible
i think its just stupid and non careing for a parent to be otherwise. sorry but you hit me where i really feel strong about something. lol. @wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
28 Sep 12
I believe in giving children the tools that they need to navigate this world. I also believe in being cautious about the individuals that one allows to have access to one's child. While parents like to focus in on "stranger danger," the fact is that they should be more focused on the people they allow in their lives--neighbors, clergy, teachers, scout leaders, etc.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
28 Sep 12
That is so good to hear. Kids are only as smart as we let them be. They are at our mercy and we need to make them strong. Can't be with them 24/7. Even those you mention need to proof they are safe for our kids.
@angelkarah050182 (4980)
• Philippines
28 Sep 12
My husband is teaching our son some deadly self-defense tactics.He's only 8 years old. I am afraid that in an early age, he might kill someone.LOL. However,we're telling him that he can only use those if his life is in danger.He shouldn't do it with his classmates.LOL.His classmates are fond of bullying him sometimes. He just tell his teachers about them and never fight back. If he'll fight back, I guess those kids will die. LOL.Children should know how to protect themselves. There are bad people out there.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
28 Sep 12
Yes, I think your last two sentences says it all. Thanks.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
28 Sep 12
I believe all children should be told about predators. When they are about school age. So many children who are aductive are raped,killed and in some cases kept captive! My parents never told me stuff like that and I think back there was no real reason for it. I grew up in farm country in Hicksville,USA. The world was different then. Now it is must dangerous and all kids never to be told this!
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
28 Sep 12
Children have to be smart around strangers and even people known to them. They can't live in ignorance and have a chance to respond properly to a given situation that might put them in danger. Parents who live in a bubble where the air doesn't move is living a fool's dream. They might just have a child go missing due to a pedophile.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
28 Sep 12
My ex-friend sure did live in a bubble and didn't know when she had a good friend cause she sure messed with me later.
@skyandgrassplot (1497)
• China
28 Sep 12
I feel so sorry about the suffering of your friend's daughter,in my opinion,we should always tell our kids how to protect themselves even in their kindergarten age,I think that is not discuss issue but must to do it,and it also is the obligation as parents to teach your kids how to protect themselves.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Sep 12
o my god yes it did happen to us and Robbie my son was about 5. this woman grabbed his hand and told him she would take him to the police station to help him find his parents meanwhile Iwas almost in hysterics having scoured the store for him so my hubby bless him started out into the street .He saw our son with this woman and he was yelling " daddy daddy come get me."
needless to say my hubby ran to him and tore him away from that awful women and picked him up.the woman tried to snow him by
saying she was only taking him to the police station.But
my hubby did not buy it.,he told her the police station was the
other direction.We had told him never to go off with a stranger and he had been trying to get loose but she was bigger and stronger as an adult to a small child.We kept even closer attention to him.then.our litle girl never left the store but was sleepyu so crawled up o n a pile of dress g oods and was aslee p when the clerk and I found her. half a second I had my head turned talking to m y mom and she wass gone., she had been holding onto my hand.we told both our children about predators and we really told them what to do and not to do.Yes at first we did not think it could happen to us but it did so we became much more vigilant from then on,
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189915)
• Boise, Idaho
28 Sep 12
You were sure lucky in both situations. I can't imagine how scared you must have been.
