The Cleanest Dirty Joke Ever (It's not what you think)
By Amber
@AmbiePam (120908)
United States
November 12, 2012 4:43am CST
I totally acknowledge this is pretty horribe, and the uncle who did it is now very sorry as an adult. Let me set the scene for you: my dad is the 15th of 16 children. They were poor, and had an outhouse until my dad was a senior in college (where did they bathe? A tub they'd drag into the kitchen and fill with well water). Well, one day My Aunt Lana went to the outhouse. When she finished her business she couldn't get out of it. The door would not open. She thought it must be stuck. She yelled for help but the other kids were either working somewhere or doing chores in the house. My Aunt Lana also happened to be somewhat claustrophic as a child. Since it was really hot (summer time) everything was magnified and she couldn't take it. So how did she get out? Think about it... Yep. She crawled through the hole. The outhouse hole where you sit and do your business.
That has got to be one of the most disgusting things I can think of ever happening.
I was at the family get together when my Aunt Lana finally found out which one of her brothers locked her in the outhouse. It was my Uncle David. So 30 years after she finally found out the culprit. My Aunt Lana is the sweetest thing ever so she wasn't angry anymore. And my Uncle David felt badly by that age.
Can you imagine? I don't think I could ever do that, but then again I've never been stuck in a situation like that.
That has got to be one of the most disgusting things I can think of ever happening.
I was at the family get together when my Aunt Lana finally found out which one of her brothers locked her in the outhouse. It was my Uncle David. So 30 years after she finally found out the culprit. My Aunt Lana is the sweetest thing ever so she wasn't angry anymore. And my Uncle David felt badly by that age.
Can you imagine? I don't think I could ever do that, but then again I've never been stuck in a situation like that.1 person likes this
14 responses
@GardenGerty (169489)
• United States
12 Nov 12
The outhouses I have experienced were rather rickety. I would have just used the adrenaline from my panic and broken the door or the side. I would have stayed in there forever rather than crawl through the hole. I am glad she is sweet and forgiving and that he feels remorse now.
@GardenGerty (169489)
• United States
13 Nov 12
And six year old minds can conceive of things that an adult cannot believe.
1 person likes this
@Fishmomma (11658)
• United States
15 Nov 12
I was locked into the outhouse more than once. The bad part the door would stick so sometimes it wasn't my brothers doing it. I was so glad when we had indoor plumbing added to our house.
1 person likes this
@Fishmomma (11658)
• United States
16 Nov 12
I am the oldest, so it was the only time that there wasn't anyone to make me stuck in there. My youngest brother didn't go out at night, unless somebody was headed out there. I use to take our dog with me, as felt a lot safer, as he would bark if anything was wrong. I miss that Border Collie.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
12 Nov 12
Thankfully I never been in a situation like that either, eww...
I told my son this and he kept saying she broke the door down or went out through the moon-shaped hole, (I guess he doesn't realize how small that hole really is..lol) and when I told him, he was disgusted too.
I do remember one time when we went to a family reunion, (where I knew no one at all) I was about 9 or 10 and my nephew was 5 years younger. I actually saved the poor guy when I saw him go into the parks bathroom, (which is similar to the older outhouses) and I saw kids about my age around the door. Sure enough when I walked over, those kids had somehow blocked the door so my nephew couldn't get out and I got really mad at those awful kids.
On other note, an incident that is sad is in the movie Schindler's List. I don't know if the scene is accurate, but I am sure this happened. When the Nazi's came into this town and started taking people, this kid is desperately running around looking for a hiding place and everywhere he went, the place was already taken. He ended up going into the bathroom and lowering himself down, closing the lid..
I told my son this and he kept saying she broke the door down or went out through the moon-shaped hole, (I guess he doesn't realize how small that hole really is..lol) and when I told him, he was disgusted too.
I do remember one time when we went to a family reunion, (where I knew no one at all) I was about 9 or 10 and my nephew was 5 years younger. I actually saved the poor guy when I saw him go into the parks bathroom, (which is similar to the older outhouses) and I saw kids about my age around the door. Sure enough when I walked over, those kids had somehow blocked the door so my nephew couldn't get out and I got really mad at those awful kids.
On other note, an incident that is sad is in the movie Schindler's List. I don't know if the scene is accurate, but I am sure this happened. When the Nazi's came into this town and started taking people, this kid is desperately running around looking for a hiding place and everywhere he went, the place was already taken. He ended up going into the bathroom and lowering himself down, closing the lid..@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
13 Nov 12
I'm sorry, didn't mean to make your post sad, just that is what I think of when I think of someone in one of those bathrooms. and to think, when we do go camping or hiking, it's those kind of bathrooms we use and sometimes that scene comes to my mind.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
12 Nov 12
Barf-o-rama!!
Reminds me of that scene in the beginning of Slum Dog Millionaire! So gross!
1 person likes this
@STOUTjodee (3670)
• United States
12 Nov 12
Oh, my goodness! When people are in panic mode they don't have time to rationalize (such as trying to break the door down)and they'll do anything to get out of the situation! Even if that means going throwing a tunnel full of feces! Good thing she doesn't hold grudges.
Good thing she doesn't hold grudges.1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
12 Nov 12
That would be so awful. I think I would still be mad, lol. I cannot imagine. I am sure it happened to a lot of others too. I am not sure I would have, as I would have been afraid of getting stuck in the hole.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37353)
• United States
13 Nov 12
I grew up where we had an outhouse too...I can't imagine going out through one of the holes.....especailly in the summer! She had to be desperate! I would have probably waited until someone missed me before I would have climbed out that way!
1 person likes this
@gitfiddleplayer (10362)
• United States
13 Nov 12
That's pretty gross. I don't think I could have done that, I probably would have torn down the outhouse or just waited until somebody else had to go. The things we do to family and they still forgive us.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Nov 12
omg, i to am claustraphobic, but i would have likely stayed in there till someone came to let me out. 
im usually pretty forgiving but a couple of awful things i havent been able to forgive,
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
13 Nov 12
I thin that for a young little girl your aunt was very resourceful and brave. I thin that I would probably have stayed there and cried until someone came. How lovely she must be to forgive something like this but thank God nothing worse happened in her escape.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
12 Nov 12
I guess the fear of being closed in was worse than crawling through the poo. Eeek! I can't think of being in such a dire situation.
1 person likes this
@Mavic123456 (21891)
• Thailand
12 Nov 12
A bad taste joke. Good thing nothing bad happened to your Aunt. Anyway, what is nice here is forgiving and regretting. Your Uncle since he was the culprit felt the guilt and that's nice it's humbling down. and I bet he apologized to his sister. Your auntie, forgiving person and since it's past nothing to get angry about. She's understanding too, thinking probably that the joke was brought about the age
