Do you avoid participating in some discussions when they come up?

@besweet (9859)
Ireland
November 14, 2012 5:00pm CST
I think that there are some topics that each one of us might avoid expressing an opinion or doesn't want to participate when they come up. Some of us might feel uncomfortable or others might not like the subject or they are trying to keep a distance. For example, I don't like arguing about politics, I accept different opinions, I have my own but I don't want to debate with others about who is the best. There are other topics that I might avoid as well, usually when they come up I tend to listen for a while and then discretely leave the conversation! What do you do when you're with a group of people and you want to avoid the discussion or you feel uncomfortable with the subject?
7 people like this
27 responses
@fantabulus (4000)
• India
16 Nov 12
Yes I avoid this type of discussion to know the opinion about politics or politician. If I feel discussion is not interested then never respond on it.
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Nov 12
Yes me too. I used to be more flexible when I was younger but now I just move on to the next if I am not interested!
@aireanna18 (1914)
• United States
19 Nov 12
Yes, there are some discussions that I avoid participating because they are not interests of mine. Sometimes, I get notifications that my friends have started a new discussion, but if it is not pertain to one of my interests I will just delete the email notification. I would say the ones that I really tend to avoid are those about religion and politics. In addition, I will avoid some of the holiday ones too. It just depends but I will look at each of my myLot notifications to decide whether or not it is a discussion that I want to participate. If I plan to participate, I keep it my inbox. If I do not plan to participate, it quickly goes in the trash. I am striving to try to keep emails more organized. Right now, I am trying to finish going through all of my old myLot notifications. I have made good progress, but there are still more in my Inbox.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Nov 12
besweet, yes I know what you mean that the email inbox is hard to keep tidy. You make a good suggestion that either you choose to respond to the friends discussion right away when you get the email or you delete it. I am going to try that suggestion to see if it helps me keep my inbox tidy. I finally went through all my myLot notifications. Horray! I am so glad that Hits4Pay just sends me one email notification that I have paid emails to read. I remember when I used to be a member of Inbox Dollars and Send Earnings then my inbox was a total nightmare.
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
26 Nov 12
I haven't reached that point with friends here, because when I see that the discussion becomes too political and I can't follow, I move on. But I guess we can't find common ideas with everyone and we just have to accept it because we're all different. I can understand the fact that you can't relate with them any more though.
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Nov 12
I usually respond straight from my inbox if it's in my interests. Otherwise I delete the e-mails and then I find the discussions at the "friends started" tab. My inbox is also full of e-mails from mylot and other sites and it's hard to keep it tidy! Thanks for your comment!
@jeztrose (1405)
• Philippines
15 Nov 12
there are some topics that i don't participate because i just don't have any idea in the first place.. aHAha..usually the topic that attracts me are those topics that i relate, or the topics that i just experienced and share them.i do not actually avoid some topics but its just that i don't have any opinion to discuss them about.
1 person likes this
@jeztrose (1405)
• Philippines
21 Nov 12
Yes as much as possible i want them to know my experiences, the every detail if i would so that i can help them even in a little way. To be able to help them would make me really happy coz somehow it makes me a good person.. haha
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Nov 12
I understand that there are some subjects that we don't have an opinion because we don't have good knowledge about them. I do avoid other subjects too, and I don't want to talk about them. It seems that you can talk about everything that you're familiar with, that sounds great!
@KOSTAS499 (1624)
• Greece
15 Nov 12
I state that I feel uncomfortable talking about the subject, politics is the subject I hate too, so that we can talk about something else. Or I can just NOT participate.
1 person likes this
@KOSTAS499 (1624)
• Greece
20 Nov 12
Really never ending!!! I am.....etsi ki etsi....problems never stop...
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Nov 12
I do the same, also politics is a never ending subject and they can talk for hours so I might do something else or talk with someone who doesn't want to participate either! There is always someone like me in the group! lol I hope you're doing great, I haven't seen you around here for a while.
• India
16 Nov 12
I try to read the discussion twice if i dont understand and also avoid certain topics which i am not comfortable with.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Dec 12
besweet, I agree. Sometimes the discussion is just so poorly written it is hard to understand it. Other times sometimes even if I can understand it the person's poor writing skill can annoy me to the point where I just really find it more frustrating than fun to participate in their discussions.
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Nov 12
My comments won't be very useful if I am not comfortable with tha subject so I avoid participating too. Sometimes if a discussion is not clear to me about the meaning, I find the meaning from the comments that follow!
• United States
15 Nov 12
If I don't think it's an open discussion, I don't participate. And there are some topics that I simply don't care about!
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
15 Nov 12
Sure, I guess we all have subjects that we don't want to discuss! If I am in front of the people that have this discussion I can't just leave, so I listen to them but I avoid expressing any opinion on the conversation!
• United States
16 Nov 12
Well, I was thinking of mylot in my response. In front of people, it really depends. Some things I disagree with people about, and they know that. I don't always share my view anymore, but just shift the subject or give some kind of one-line reply that expresses my disagreement...to keep the peace. This usually works at family functions, where each of us have different opinions on religion, politics, etc. The relationship is much more important. If they really want to talk about it, I try to get them to tell me about their personal experiences which have led them to this topic. That way, I can still relate with them and it's less tense than sharing opinions.
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
18 Nov 12
wow! I also use both "techniques". They actually come natural because I want to speak but I hold my words. But on the other hand, I can't just be silent so I say the "one-line reply" and it gets out of my mind. Like you, I express the disagreement without causing an argument! Your second part is also very familiar with it, you can understand why people feel this way about a subject with questions and you can also focus on other stuff like personal experiences etc which is more interesting and can start a new conversation!
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
15 Nov 12
I may be the opposite of you.. It's nice to see people but sometimes it seems like all things are so surface! I love to discuss meaningful things! But most people don't like to, and I'm afraid I get a bit bored after a while. Nowadays however, it seems like there is less and less tolerance for differing ideas. There's those popular, mainstream or politically correct (peer pressure?) ideas and if someone doesn't agree with them, I'm afraid the attitude all too often is one of condescension. Personally I don't understand that, so yes, I too avoid these topics for the most part anymore. (Except online! A great outlet for me. Where one can find plenty of folks interested in deeper discussions, I try to avoid the overly feisty ones though!)
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
20 Nov 12
You must have interesting ideas, I like the "different" while many people are afraid of it and reject it. It depends on who sits on the other side. If you're talking to people who can accept what you have to say then you can express your ideas and discuss about the. In other situtations it might be good to avoid it :)
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
15 Nov 12
I don't like to argue, and stay away from the real political stuff. There are some others that I stay away from too. If I see that someone has already started with arguing in a post, I just pass it over.
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Nov 12
I usually read those posts because I might find some interesting opinions. But I avoid to participate. It depends on the feeling that the overall discussion gives me, if it's insulting or offensive I will not bother but if it's open and polite I might stay there for a while to see how it goes on!
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Nov 12
besweet I avoid political discussions like the plague as they bicker and fight and insult each other so thats just a waste of my time. I can participate in most any other discussion bu t not on soccer or footrball or cricket as I know nothing abot those sports.I participate otherwise so I can care and share snd learn and still earen. I do not sit a ound edoing nothing at all;
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Nov 12
Avoiding subjects that we don't have knowledge or interest about them is fine. I don't know much about football either! Subjects that can cause fights are also a "no" for me, I don't like getting into insulting arguments that become personal even though they start general.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
16 Nov 12
If discussions is long or I not understand then I leave it without response or if discussion is related politics topic then I not interested in it so leave it also without response. Mostly try to response on most of the topics but if not possible then leave without response some topics.
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Nov 12
I used to respond to many topics but now I feel like responding to a lot less. Politics is one of them, religion also, and sometimes many different conversations that I am not interested in! I guess I used to be more flexible!
• United States
15 Nov 12
There are some discussions that I have not necessarily avoided but just was not interested in participating but I have gone back to some of these discussion after giving it some thought. I'm not really out to debate unless I see something really ignorant but in any case, I am here to help bring clarity, see what others opinions are and it also helps myself as well during this process.
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
20 Nov 12
I agree, participating in discussions is helpful for both sides. I rarely go back to discussions that I have avoided or passed without giving my opinion. But if I am interested in a subject, I will participate to ask for more information even if I have no knowledge on it. It's nice to learn and share your knowledge with others.
@sjvg1976 (41132)
• Delhi, India
15 Nov 12
Yes I am choosy when it comes to participate on discussions. I feel its not fair to respond when you know little about the subject as you never can add anything to the discussion. Its better to avoid such discussions.
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Nov 12
Yes, I can't express my opinion if I have no knowledge in the subject! If it's interesting for me though I might ask for more information and learn from the discussion!
@Angelpink (4034)
• Philippines
15 Nov 12
Hello ! I speak my mind . I don't care if it is favorable or not to some people . All i want is i can share my pieces and i see to it also that, i am doing it in a very kind and tact way. Respect must always be observed no matter how good or worst is the discussion. Cheers !
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Nov 12
Thank you for sharing! Great, healthy and constructive conversations can start, as long as we treat others with respect and we are polite. I enjoy reading this kind of discussions!
• United States
15 Nov 12
It depends on what kind of mood I am in as I go through the discussions. If I feel rather argumentative, I will post on anything just to see how people react. Other times I feel rather passive and I just don't feel like dealing with touchy issues. I avoid things that people are very passionate about most of the time just because people tend to go over-board at the smallest comment. I tend to say things that people don't always agree with, simply because I have realist ideals. People in general are too political in the sense that, they try to make other people believe what they think is right which, I think, goes against the rights of society. That is just my opinion though. If I am in one of those moods that I don't feel like discussing controversial topics I just don't say anything. I think most people are the same way sometimes and they should understand that you are uncomfortable.
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
20 Nov 12
I have experienced that, when people want you to accept what they say as the correct opinion and believe in that as well. In my life I have a habit that I am trying to keep and use in my every day life. I am trying to see things from the other person's perspective before judging them. Unfortubately not many people do that and they rush to judge and create arguments. I read many topics that I don't participate in and I choose to avoid discussions that turn into debates on politics or religion.
@peavey (16936)
• United States
15 Nov 12
It depends on my mood, at least sometimes. When I'm tired or just not in the right mood, I don't want to get into an argument or get into a discussion where I have to think too hard! Also, it depends on the other person. Some people get offended or become angry if anyone disagrees with them while others are able to discuss things politely. I don't avoid politics other than that and I don't avoid religion. I enjoy talking about what I believe, but there are some people who are argumentative to begin with, or who spout off challenges to prove something and I avoid those discussions.
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Nov 12
I think politics is a difficult subject to discuss and solve, and I don't have good knowledge on it because I was never a fan of political parties etc. So anyway, I guess I wouldn't be an interesting person to discuss with about politics! Religion is very personal for everyone and for me, so I am not involved in religious talks either. That's why I avoid those subjects! But sometimes it's interesting to be present in discussions about those subjects, made by open-minded people that won't end up with uncomfortable disagreements.
@Fishmomma (11377)
• United States
15 Nov 12
I do feel uncomfortable talking about subjects that I'm not really sure what is happening, so when pressured to answer really don't have an answer. One of my friends just doesn't seem to ever accept easily I don't know the answer. He will ask again in a different way until I just find a reason to leave the room. I'm not sure why he needs an answer, as sometimes it doesn't seem important to me.
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Nov 12
Some people just don't let it go right? In that case I belive they don't understand that you don't want to answer and they don't respect that. It has happened to me as well, I didn't leave the room but I didn't participate to the discussions that followed either because I felt the pressure. If this happens again though I intent to face it in a different way.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
15 Nov 12
it's a good thing that in forums and discussion boards, one has an option not to join. it's a different thing with a discussion upfront and you have no choice but to join, and then later on exchange views and fight for your own views. i always stand up for what i believe in. i do not back down but i wouldn't ever insult or degrade anybody who will not agree with me or conform with what i believe in.
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Nov 12
There are many different types of people when they join discussions. I am one of the people that will avoid to express an opinion that might create a big disagreement because I am not interested in arguing with anyone. I believe that we are all free to believe whatever we want as long as we respect others and if the person on the other side has the intention to become offensive or aggressive I won't participate. In a more relaxed discussion when I know the people around me I will say my point of view and why I think this way. However I admire people that are not afraid to say what they think regardless who is sitting on the other side.
• United States
15 Nov 12
That is easy to explain. When I don't like something that is being talked about. Yes I will listen to gain more knowledge, I won't engage in the conversation though. If I am asked I will graciously deny answering and let them know that I am not comfortable answering and leave it at that. Most times the respect is there and they go on with the conversation.
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@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Nov 12
Hmm, it depends! Some people don't let it go that easily and they insist! That's why I always try to listen without saying much, so that they won't ask me many things about my opinion since I don't want to analyze it. But yes, it's good to find a discrete way to avoid it, if someone turns to you and asks for your opinion on a subject that you are not willing to share it!
@grace147 (223)
• Philippines
15 Nov 12
There is nothing wrong with sharing of opinion for as long as its a healthy conversation. After all we have the freedom of expression.
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Nov 12
I understand that but if I don't feel comfortable about sharing it I tend to avoid the conversation! We have the freedom of expression but sometimes I think it's better to keep things for ourselves, unless we want to say our thoughts to the others, then we can do it without any second thoughts.
• India
15 Nov 12
Hi friend, i am not interested in politics as well as ranting topics, mostly i will keep distance from such kind of topics. For me mylot is a place to have fun and enjoyment, i don't want to argue with anyone using this great site, so i will keep distance from ranting topics, very few cases, i will participate in this kind of topics, if it is very interesting and i have points to share
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
15 Nov 12
It depends a lot in the nature of the discusson and the mood of the participants, I agree! However politics isn't a subject that I like so it's more likely for me to read the discussion and think about the expressed points than make a comment about it!