Made The Right Choice For Me...

I can't believe some of your family actually tell you that...especially after 8 years, really? Those are really stupid comments. Of course you made the right decision....because you're happy. You might not be happy with all the rough circumstances about work and all, but there are thousands of people in that situation. Hey, how's his work doing anyways? By the way, I would have never married a military man....couldn't handle it. And like you, that was my decision regardless how my life turned out.

I know that the military is supposed to be a good thing but the I think these war things are just too much. But, in my own opinion, I think they're quite unnecessary for some reasons. I think it's better to just stop sending young soldiers to die and instead let them go to school and have families and become part of the country they are willing to die for. I think that would also save the government a lot of money and their loving women a lot of heartbreak :)

I am glad you made the right choice for you. I am not a military wife, but the work of my husband is something similar. It was not always. We move around a lot, and while it has been interesting, it has not been too great at times. Especially when you move to somewhere you do not like from someplace you really loved. I could not imagine living this life and also having fear that my spouse might not return. Quite a few of the people I do know that are in military families are not as well off as one would hope. The base by our town recently had a drive for families in need. Apparently, there are many living on base that are technically below the poverty line. They were unable to buy clothes for the school year or anything for the holidays. It is not as glamorous as some try to make it sound.

When I first imagined a married life, I kind of modeled my ideal husband a little after my dad [i]with a few minor differences of course[\i] and a military man would have never fit into what I wanted for my life. When I was married to my ex, things didn't turn out that way. If he wasn't at home making me want to kill myself, he was gone sometimes days, weeks, even a month at a time. I hated that. If I stress out of that then there's no way I need to be with a military man who could be gone for years.

My niece Randi is getting married next January to a military guy. He is a Marine. She started dating him in high school. After high school he enlisted in the MArines. They got engaged a year ago. When they get married they plan to settle in North Caroline where he is stationed. Randi says he is going be stationed there all his career. He is a military lifer. I doubt he will be stationed in North Caroline all his career! He was deployed to Afghanstan for 8 months last year. He could be again. I know alot of military marriages don't last because of moving,deploymenst and other things. I hope Randi's marraige does. Only time will tell.

Hello Lovingmybabies, a very congratulations to you that you chose the man depends on what your heart desires. having a hubby away from deployment could pose a troubling long distant relationships. too bad your family doesn't think that way and prefers the monetary side in terms of picking the right hubby to be with. have a nice day

How long have you and your husband been married? The guy I was dating my senior year was going into the Air Force, and was already talking about OUR future, which really freaked me out. Heck, I was 17, just starting at college and wasn't really into the forever thing. I did a bad thing-I didn't tell him that I didn't want to date anymore, and within 6 months, was seeing someone else. I did see him nearly two years later, after Desert Storm ended; he asked to see me. He accepted my apology (crappy that it was). The guy I was seeing refused to tell his mother that we were engaged-and that relationship ended. Three months later, he was preparing to go into the Marine Corps! I didn't see him for six years-until one night I was out eating with my daughter and her father. He nodded hello and smiled-when he and I were together, we had decided to not become parents. I think he also saw how much she resembled me. My husband (now ex) flipped when he found out who he was. Now I'm with a disabled veteran of Desert Storm; at times, I think it's even harder once they come home from combat. He has really bad PTSD and has to take a lot of medications just to control it, as well as other health issues that may be related to his service-he's just not allowed to utter the words Gulf War Syndrome within earshot of the VA. When he talks about the war, he acts like it was a game-and since I was never in the military nor from a military family, I don't get that attitude. My vision all while I was raising my daughter was that once I turned 40, I'd be able to do all the fun things I couldn't do while I raised her. And then once I was divorced and knew I had multiple sclerosis, I just wanted to find someone to take care of me. I'm 41, taking care of someone else and unable to do the things I wanted to do. I do love my boyfriend Jim, but there are times I wonder why I'm putting up with his baggage that at times threatens to make me ill.

The women who chose husbands who live those lives need to accept the choice they made. It can be tough but if you promise to love someone and they are already in the military then I think they need to stick it through. I know lots of girls who dated guys who were in the military and so they wouldnt have to be apart they married and moved together. Well then the guys were deployed and the girls couldnt take being away from them for so long so they divorced. Its just pointless to me. I knew I would never date a guy in the military.

Yesterday somebody said...the journey is more fun, rather than what you have at the end of the goal. :) It is true...you know. Everytime you look back, you will feel happy...hey we didnt have much but still we managed, god knows how. :) And money might mean others having a go at it. That could mean being left with less monies, right? :) You did the right thing and I am so proud of you. :)

I think you raised a discussion recently about life being 'blah'. And I think I agreed that we'd rather have the blah than living a stressful life. I think you LMB, and me, are really alike. Although we deal with stress, we'd rather have a narrower stress-tolerance in life. And this even reflects in the choices we've made. We put more emphasis in family than money or benefits, etc. And this makes your choice right!

A pleasant day to you LovingMyBabies, As I have read your post, I can say that you really did the right choice. I guess, choosing what your heart desires is really much valuable than what others are telling you. And this is also must I do. Good share.

Many of the men I know that are or were in the Military have no money when they get out and have a hard time finding jobs, most of them are not even able to go to college for some reason or other, while others I see that went or are serving are doing quite well, not sure what makes the difference but there has to be something or maybe it depends on what branch you go into for the military.

It's really heartbreaking to be away with your boyfriend/husband. You've made a right choice. Money cannot make you happy if you are not with your husband. While if you are together you can do great things by helping each other earn.

You've got the right choice. making a family is not about monetary benefits it is a matter of building a home. You with your husband together can do things more than what money can buy being with your siblings all the time planning together and doing something for the success of what you want to achieve together is a happiness that money can't buy.

Sounds like you did indeed make the right choice my friend, it annoys me that others should interfere by saying you should have been with them for the money. That is rather shallow thinking! Doesn't love count for anything? I wouldn't want to be with someone just because they are rich and have fringe benefits, what if they were totally boring and had no personality? I'm with you on this one!

My husband grew up in a military family, but he was told from the time that he was young that he father didn't want him or either of his brothers to join the military. I have to admit that is something that I really am happy about because I am far too close to my family to even be able to think about what it would be like if I wasn't able to live close to my family. Therefore, just like you, I know that I made the right choice for myself.

I couldn't see myself falling for a military man as well. I wouldn't want to be constantly worrying if he's coming back or not. It's just not the type of guy that I have dreamed about. Just like you, I am happy (well, sort of ) that eventhough my family is not well off, my husband is just here with us and I would always have him within my arm's reach whenever I need him.

It is not always about the money or benefits. What is he would have been killed or maimed then you would have to deal with all of that. Plus they come home in the state of mind where they weren't before alot of the time and need some counselling in order to cope, etc. You have made the right choice in your heart I know.

It would be really hard, but if you love the person that wont interfer. I would never get into that sort of situation because I wanted the money or benefits. Many who are in the military end up dovirced or seperated because they do have this mind set.

When you marry someone, you marry his/her career and in some ways, you marry his/her family and his/her baggage. If you can't deal with someone in the military and that sacrificial lifestyle, then do not marry someone in the military. Do what you can cope with. It is better than complaining about your husband being away and then not supporting him when he needs your support. I hope that you will find a way to support the military (other than marrying someone in the military) because without their sacrifice, you would not have the freedom of speech to write your post, here on Mylot. I have two sons in the military. They are in their early 20s, both are single and I pray everyday that they will each find a LOVING and SUPPORTIVE and STRONG wife. A wife who is strong in spirit, who is loyal, and who is willing to make sacrifices for the sake of our freedoms. Someone who understands what unconditional love and sacrificial love is really all about. Someone who is willing to do what is necessary, for the sake of our freedoms and our protection. So, I do encourage you to, at the very least, when you do see someone in uniform, you thank them for their service, for their sacrifice on your behalf, so that you can be protected and you can have freedom and therefore, enjoy the comforts of your own lifestyle. So, please, thank those in the military. They deserve our thanks.