Whose real fault is it?
By Nursefrai06
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
Penrith, Australia
March 13, 2013 8:58pm CST
A lot of people whine everyday as to why they are not in a relationship. But whose fault is it really? Is it the woman's fault for having high standards? Or is it the man's fault for going for the easy girls, (the ones who are less prone to reject)?
I'm a woman so it is natural to be attracted to males of higher status. But then I know so many guys who would rather go after the easy bimbos. But then again, is it the woman's fault because I'm pretty sure even if you're an ugly woman and you belong to the ugliest 5% someone is still going to want you. some men can get so desperate that they'll do whatever that moves, or so I've heard.
Maybe some women come in not so likeable packages but it doesn't mean that they're bad products. And in terms of good products, they may not always come cheap but most people would opt cheap over quality.
I hope you get me mylotters, I don't want to be the low hanging fruit. How do you even not become the "low hanging fruit"?
2 people like this
15 responses
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
Ah, I think people there are people who are frustrated being single. Blaming it on someone seems the most comfortable thing to do, yet surely blaming doesn't really help any one at all.
How about everyone be responsible with themselves and be realistic. I think being single is cool when that life is enjoyed. The pitiful ones are those that just can't enjoy themselves no matter their status.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
14 Mar 13
Blaming might not fix anything, that is true, but it opens you up to points where in you might have lacked in, its easier to see the shortcomings of others than to see our own. Some people dont even realize it until its pointed out, sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind.
Being single is well and good at our age, but when were over 30 it gets harder, even 27 year olds, some of them already experience that difficulty, its hard when you're not a fresh pearl anymore, when you've yellowed because of age, its even harder when you don't realize what's wrong with you.
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
15 Mar 13
That's a good point. Though one doesn't need to blame anyone entirely for the reason of being single. Self assessment is important as well as being open-minded.
Yes, that is usually what people think, that the older we get the harder it is to find a partner. I disagree though. I don't believe that people's value and desirability lessens as someone age. In fact, I want everyone to stop believing in this bull. I believe that no matter what age, a person can be desirable. And even when no one wants to marry or be in a relationship with that person, it doesn't mean they are unworthy. They have to see anything they need to change within. If everyone will focus on self development, I think no one can resist a person who is aiming for that. Even when they don't look for a partner, people are bound to notice them.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
16 Mar 13
Well thats true, i dont think anything is entirely only one's fault.
I guess my mom is 49 and hopefully she is getting married next month. But my mom is an extremely social person. I am otherwise. But I'm not really "old" yet so.
I'm happy that you're really positive about this. Thanks.
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
14 Mar 13
I was blissfully single for a while and then met someone and it just unfolded. I don't think I had high standards, I just didn't want anyone in my life. I'm kind of a commitment phob so I like to keep my distance. I still struggle with it but dealing.
The low hanging fruit, yeah can see that. It might be fun for a while but when a guy realizes that there's been a lot of players on the green, well how you going to keep other players from playing the hole 
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
14 Mar 13
Not most sought after, but in terms of yeah this person might be fun because they aren't looking for that emotional connection before they jump into bed with a person. I'm looking at it as...if a person finds another attractive because they will be sexually active that quickly...well then what's to say they won't jump into bed with just anyone that gives them the time of day.
My son is 19 and has had a lot of girls that were just friends. When asked him why he's never really interested in dating anyone he tells me all the good ones are taken and all the others are hoes. He's not interested in something easy and fun. I'm actually using his works here when saying 'they might be fun for a while by you don't know who else has been playing with them'.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
14 Mar 13
Thats very nice to hear, i think its because people who dont seem to be looking exude this type of confidence and people want confident partners and i think it kind of makes sense to want someone who doesn't want you, ts challenging that way, and if i were to find someone, i think I'd want someone who has a life,
I'm sorry but I'm kind of lost in the last sentence, please correct me if i am wrong but do you mean that the low hanging fruit is still one of the most sought after?
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
14 Mar 13
Oh, now i get what "the hole" really is.. Ahh, that hole. I was thinking about golf the whole time. Like you know hitting balls in the green and getting it into the hole. Man i am weird. 
Thats kind of cool that your son doesn't want sleazy women, i wish more men were like that. Most of the men i know are guarded creatures who are afraid of emotional attachment and the like, its sad really.
Thats kind of cool that your son doesn't want sleazy women, i wish more men were like that. Most of the men i know are guarded creatures who are afraid of emotional attachment and the like, its sad really.
@allknowing (130066)
• India
14 Mar 13
These relationships happen when one least expects. Trying to split hairs about it is not the best thing to do. One should go about it in a normal natural way and everything will fall in place. But there are some who are destined to remain single. So what? They too are a part of this Universe and they too have a role to play as is designed for them.
@allknowing (130066)
• India
14 Mar 13
You have to do whatever needs to be done and the circumstances will show you the way.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
14 Mar 13
So we can't really do anything but let things come on its own course, if its yours its yours and if its not, then well thats it. Is that what you mean?
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
14 Mar 13
Your picture is really nice. Where do you get those? :)
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
14 Mar 13
I don't think it is anyone's fault. It just so happens that the "right" people do not get to meet right away. And since women now are busy with their careers, they tend to prioritize it over having a relationship.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
14 Mar 13
I just wish that all the jerks and the idiots would get together already so that it will be a lot easier for the sane, kind women to find each other.
@devonavis (1854)
• Greece
20 Mar 13
Outside beauty is temporary but inside beauty lasts.:) It is not just outside beauty that real men look at, if they do, its just to aid their being masculine, but at the end of the day what they really wanted as a life partner is a woman who is clean, responsible and beautiful in her way.:)
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
21 Mar 13
Thats very nice. I kind of agree too. I know there are a lot of pretty women and hot men in the club. But then I'm quite sure that when I'm there, I'm not looking for a lifetime partner. My basis for a lifetime partner would always be personality.
@BettyandAnthony (47)
• United States
14 Mar 13
High Standards are good too and guys going easy on girls is good too, depending on the situation. But be careful of having high standards. What happens if nobody wants you because you have high standards? just saying.
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
14 Mar 13
I don't think high standards are wrong either Nurse. I mean if a person is nit picking at the little things...like he never uses a napkin when he eats or won't push his own chair in when he leaves the table...
In general we do want standards, treat me with respect, have the same financial goals I do, same values, same morals - those to me are standards of living and with out common ground we aren't compatible with people. If that is deemed high standards, well then I guess I have them too.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
14 Mar 13
I told my friend the other day that i want the person who is interested in me to be someone i am also interested in, he says its impossible because that never happens. Is that really too much to ask?
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
14 Mar 13
Really? Guys going for easy girls is okay? Oh... Okay. 
But i want to be some one great so i can be with someone who is great too. So the standards i set are the standards i have for myself as well.
But i want to be some one great so i can be with someone who is great too. So the standards i set are the standards i have for myself as well.
@jonastabuena (2307)
• Philippines
15 Mar 13
I guess when it comes to word "likes" we tend to make choices, but when it comes to love no more choices at all. But there are some cases that the "likes" developed into "love", so at first we "like" then later on maybe "love".
Anyway i'm a simple guy thus i'm looking for a simple girl only no matter the physical appearance is.
Now a days, i noticed high profile persons is looking for the same profile also, good looking guy/girls is looking for the same good looks. The sad thing is when a good looking guy fall in love with not so good looking girl, the people around him will ask, "what comes to your mind that you fall for that kind of girl"?
For me i don't care about the profile, the appearance and so on, all i want from a girl is she has self respect and respect to other people.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
15 Mar 13
Thank you for your honest response, it was nice reading it. It is very relevant, thank you very much. It makes sense that people want someone who is in the same level they are in. Its true that it would take a lot for me to settle with someone less. And i wouldn't want people to think ill of me if i chose someone who is very much below me. We all need someone we can be proud if having.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
14 Mar 13
Good and thoughtful post.
You see it is difficult to say whose fault it is if someone is not in a relationship. It could be due to so many reasons and you have highlighted some of the points. Most of the young women desire that they should get a handsome and smart guy as a partner but every guy can not be handsome, tall and/or smart.
Like-wise men also get attracted to women who look beautiful or who have a charming personality. I feel that it is a matter of personal choice, perception and opinion of a guy that what kind of woman he wants, if he could adjust with an average woman then he may find many but if he keeps his standard high then his choices get restricted. @Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
14 Mar 13
Does having high standards but low expectations apply here? :)
That is true though, it is weird though as in the younger years, women are the picky ones and men just go for whoever, while as ages escalate, women stop being picky in their 30's while men look for younger prettier girls. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or if i observe that right,
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
14 Mar 13
well i don't know what you mean by "low hanging fruit", but i am sure glad that i am not on the market anymore. i don't feel like i am the prettiest girl in the world, but man my obviously thinks that i am good enough for him. as for my husband, he is gorgeous. he is not materially rich, but he is rich is character, personality, and spirit. i don't care if other girls may not think i am good enough for him.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
14 Mar 13
Low hanging fruit = the easy girl, the one who Would go for anyone that wanted them.
I think you wouldn't be the low hanging fruit if you've achieved enough in your life and be successful that you are sought after. Bit then it gets sad because the women who are in their 30's they are accomplished in their career but men don't really want them, they're like pearls that have turned yellow because they're old. Or something. I don't really know. :(
How old were you when you got married?
@Professor2010 (20162)
• India
14 Mar 13
Thanks for sharing
Well all women aspire for a husband who is rich, cute and honest; but all are not lucky equally; my faith says, marriages are made in heaven, but solemnized on earth'
Hugs from Lolo
Hugs from Lolo@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
14 Mar 13
You're right lolo, i observe that Too especially with some of the women i know, they always demand for the rich, and the good looking, but then when they find someone they seem still happy about their partners. True love works in mysterious ways, i hope one day i find that person who is really for me, the one who is meant to be.
@blaqwynter (218)
• Canada
14 Mar 13
Love is like a lottery ticket. You go through a heck of a lot of losers before you actually find a winner! ;-)
@pomwango (1353)
• Kenya
14 Mar 13
i believe that at times people set up unrealistic expectations hence they end up being single for too long.we should accept no one is perfect and then from there find someone very close to our dream partner then from there with love you will be able to appreciate each other.relationships is more than money and good looks.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
14 Mar 13
Truly there is no use in wanting a perfect partner. A perfect person doesn't exist and if ever there was such a person, i dont think I'd even want them,
@niki5510 (61)
• Bulgaria
15 Mar 13
Believe in your chance and keep your high standart.If you are self confident you will find the man who will appreciate your values.Unfortunatly some men are afraid of beautiful and clever women.The reason is a low esteem.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
15 Mar 13
I asked my mom yesterday why men would prefer the easy women and not go for women of high status, and my mom said its because men want someone who cannot live without them, who will not leave without them and who will always be there no matter what happens. That seems unfair but guys can be really insecure creatures after all
@randomarts09 (1405)
• Indonesia
3 Apr 13
I am still single until now. But I know that is because I am pretty cold to men. There are several men that was going after me. But give up after seeing my signal which seemingly not interested to them.
