Good to be bad...
By vanny
@vandana7 (102698)
India
March 21, 2013 12:06am CST
This morning papa was talking to one of the uncles.
In the conversation he mentioned "My daughter brought stability to our lives, even if she had to fight and be bad".
It is not very often that I get to hear such things. I usually blame his lack of appreciation to bad sectors in his memory.
Yes...I had to be bad...as it was the question of survival...a soft and supple nature is possible only when everything is moving smoothly.
So are you ever bad? Do you have differences with others? Do you realize that they are exploiting you or your loved ones, and still keep quiet for the sake of peace? How long would you put up with it?
2 people like this
4 responses
@vandana7 (102698)
• India
15 Mar 20
Ours is a male dominated society. As things stand, the relatives periodically borrowed from dad and dad did not know how to say 'NO' I need it for me, and my kid. He even signed away his inheritances and his earnings were siphoned off too. My mom's properties too were taken away. Then they became rich, started looking down on us like menials. That is when I said enough is enough. Yes, I raked up old issues, I proved to the world these folks are cheats. I didn't let them siphon away my earnings. That helped us survive. Had I been the meek woman, dad would have taken my monies and given them. He did a couple of times, which is why I had to stand up. I know society here thinks ill of me, but they not gonna feed me. Ultimately, my food, clothing, shelter, medicines are my responsibility, and the only way I could manage that was by fighting. I know it is bad to fight. But when there are folks who want to live off you, then it is time to draw line, hook or crook. Its not like that in your world, I suppose. I have been physically abused for monies too. And am treated as bad person for not forgiving folks who beat me up.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (117273)
• El Paso, Texas
15 Mar 20
I watched as my mother went through things like that then women of my generation fought against the unfair treatment of women and ultimately won but at a price @vandana7 When I was a child a man could earn enough money to support his family whereas now it seems to take two. The problem is that too many women in my age group and the next generation after me wanted to earn their own money and NOT have to give it to their husbands .... in my case I decided to take care of myself but I was not always treated fairly because I was single with no children I was denied the same tax reliefs that women who were married with children got and in the 70s and 80s single women with children were also treated like that but the laws finally recognized the hardships single women with children faced and laws were created to protect them and their children. I think you are a very strong woman and I pray that more women there look up to you and try to be more like you.
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
22 Mar 13
I do not consider speaking up when a person or their loved ons are being taking advantage of as being bad. Quite the opposite.
@vandana7 (102698)
• India
26 Mar 13
Some people have strange habit. If their wishes are not fulfilled, they will go around bad mouthing the person. And others dont take a no. Even when stiff resistance is offered. This forces people who want a gentle way out, to fight...and thereby get a reputation as "bad". It is not necessary that anybody termed as "bad" by others is essentially bad. :)
@jenny1015 (13359)
• Philippines
21 Mar 13
My first cousin and I were talking over dinner about 7 years ago. We were talking about how our uncle sold properties without the consent of our grandma and this has caused strain in the relationship among my uncle, his dad and my mom. All three of them were siblings. Then my cousin told me, that he hopes we would not fight over the properties that our parents will leave us. And I told him, it would never be an issue with me coz since they are near the properties in the province, they should take care of them.
Then he jokingly said, Uncle W is the black sheep among the three siblings. Then he added that among his own siblings, it was his older brother who was the black sheep of the family. Then he asked, "in your family, is it you?". I was about to feel offended by what he said, but reality hit me that I indeed was the black sheep of the family, coz among my own siblings, it was always me who gave my parents a headache. I one time, fooled around with school, failing 5 subjects in one semester. It was unlikely of me really coz semester before that I had really high grades. Well, I was so in love back then, my boyfriend was experiencing a problem and I had t be with him all the time to make sure he was safe. Well, that is another story to tell. And then I got pregaant shortly before graduation, and some other things still happened.
I felt ashamed when he pointed that out to me. And I thought that I should have been a much better person so that my parent wouldn't had all those headaches. But I am so lucky to have such parents, because they never stopped loving me nor denied me of my rights to be their daughter in all of the circumstances.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (102698)
• India
26 Mar 13
Dear jenny...nobody really wants to be bad. Situation makes them react in a way which later on seems to be bad. It does not mean that everything would have gone right even if they had not chosen that way. Bad things happen to good people also. Right. We all are given certain experience ...we are equipped with some knowledge, which will help us in some way. Its god's will. We will only know the story as it unfolds. In the meanwhile, accept that bad as good for you. :)
@alberello (4752)
• Italy
21 Mar 13
Well, talk already done with the debate of yesterday. (In fact I commented on a similar topic)
However, the life, we must know how to live, in good and in bad time!
Every day we have to deal with people (to start our own family members), the relationships you build or wear out over time.
A middle way is always the right way to face the trials and obstacles that life presents to us.
Be good ok, that's fine. But being submit, is not good!
