A good listener is a traitor?

Most of the time people around me tells what they feel about something or someone and I just listen to them. Also some of them have shared their secrets to me. Some are shocking and some are very revealing. But I never thought and will never share it to others. I don't want to destroy the trusts of the people had given to me.

Yes, this has happened to me. It is a hard way to find out who your real friends are. But I figure karma bites and it will all come back on them.

not from a good listener but from other kind of people turn to be back stabers

Well, that was really weird. I had just finished a long response and when I went to post it went back to the main Mylot front page. Weird. So, anyway. I think its really important to start slow in relationships. You give a little and then wait for them to. If they don't then you know something is up and I would back off a little. I had a friend of 35 years recently hurt me very much. We are no longer friends because of what she did to me. It's sad to lose those long time friends. Or ones you thought were friends anyway.

Yep, I tried to confide in a couple of people about my ex hitting me. They ran their mouth off to him. After that day I felt like there was no one for me to turn to and lost my trust for anybody.

There are some people who act as a good listener, but they are just observing and collecting the random info they could use for their own interests. But those are not that common, I would say. Most good listeners listen for the sake of listening, and to give a shoulder to cry on.

Yes, a good listener can be a traitor. There are people who pretend to be your very good friend. Thus they win your trust and then they slowly start asking your family matters. If you are in a business, they will ask about your business. When you trust them, you will innocently tell them all secrets. Then they go and spread rumours or they will tell somebody about your life affairs, to a person who does not deserve to be told any such thing. Thus they become traitors.

In high school I had a "friend" that turned on me and said many things I had told her in confidence. It was sad and taught me not to trust anyone with anything I do not want others to know.

I do recall a friend of mine in College. Although at first, I felt she was a bit of odd, but then I just accepted her as she is. We became really close, but only after 3 months, she should her true colors. I trusted her with a lot of things but she turned out to be against me. I never really bothered to argue with her. I just told her I was so disappointed with her after all the things that I have done for her and yet he managed to hurt my feelings. It was the end of our friendship.

That title is far from the truth. The traitors are the ones that use information against you. The ones that are only looking to take advantage. I am a good listener and I am no traitor. I listen and analyze. And if asked I give advice. I never steer anyone wrong. And if I say something to someone that they might not like, I say it for a reason. And mainly that reason is for protection of that person. So they don't get hurt.

My views is that, it depends upon the person... have you ask the WHY he/she does that? maybe in life there are really people who's weakness is to chose something bad, but i'll tell you, there are as well true people who are true to their interest..

I have gone through this phase a few times.They pretend to be good friends but will betray you,the minute they find you disagreeing with their ideas.

hahaha I have a story for this Shavs.. hehehe it is nice to be old sometimes. Anyway, I have a "friend" I know that this "friend" is a leech to the new principal. what I did, all the messages I want my principal to know... i told her in a friendly manner as if I am just telling stories in a normal way. HAHAHA, done... all the messages related...

Thats true, so many people pretend to be your friend but in truth, they are just fishing for information they can so sip to others about. Its sad that whenever you're in a group, when you leave, they will talk about you, I'm not sure why that happens, thats why as much as possible, i never leave when I'm in a group, i dont want them to talk about me

I've never experienced that because I don't tell secrets. I look at it this way. If I want my secret kept, I better keep it.

Yes! It is so dangerous to let people in your life. I try to ensure that the people I'm sharing things with that could hurt me with that information are also people who are sharing similar information with me. Because then I know there is a mutual give and take there. If they turn around and blab my business to everyone they are essentially shooting their own selves in the foot because I could turn around and do the exact same thing to them as well.

Its better to keep your secrets to yourself than circulating them in a closed group of confidential people cause you never know.

Not all people who are good at listening are bad. I have encountered several ones in this lifetime who are basically there to listen because they want to help. You have to consider your friend's other characteristics. Is she or he a gossip? Somebody who envies you. It make take some time to observe people especially those who you may not be really close to, to say that they are honest to goodness wanting to help you or have bad intention why they want to listen.

I have never been betrayed to a point that our friendship will be ruined, but I have had experiences when I told people not to tell anybody what I told them but later on I learned that they have told someone. :( Anyway, I forgive them afterwards because what they did didn't do much damage.

yeah, its a good lesson in life, "some things are better left unsaid" and its hard because you want someone to talk to so that you can relieve some of the things on your mind, but dont. trust no one, but me of cours x)