Would You Ask For the Money?

@ladym33 (10979)
United States
April 9, 2013 6:20pm CST
My husband makes a bit more money then a lot of our friends and family, and he has a good heart so people are always taking advantage of him and us. We are not rich by any means, and my husband works really hard for the money that he makes. We also have bills like everyone else, we have 3 kids, we have a lot of expenses and lately we have a lot of medical expenses and other unavoidable expenses and things are getting a bit rough for us and we are getting financially overwhelmed by all of this. I know there are a lot people a lot worse off then we are but things are getting difficult for us. There are two people who owe us a lot of money, and one has paid back about 1/4 of the money and I don't see the other one paying us back any time soon. There is another couple however that my husband did a lot of work for, for free, and my husband had to pay $150 out of his pocket to get this done for them because of things that were needed for the job. They said they would pay him back for that money. This was about 4 months ago. My husband has too much pride to ask for the money from them, and we actually really need the money right now. I am tempted to ask for the money myself, but I know if I do that my husband will be angry at me, but we got bills to pay. This particular couple is not hurting, they both work full time and together probably make as much as my husband and myself so there is no reason to feel badly about asking for the money it just my husband's good heart and stupid pride. Would you ask them (nicely of course) for the money, or would nag your spouse until they did it or would you let it go if you were me?
5 people like this
10 responses
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
9 Apr 13
Personally, if I were in the situation you describe I would definitely ask the couple for the money that THEY owe. From what you're saying it doesn't look as though it would be a financial bind for them to pay up..it's just they're reluctant to do so. I could well imagine my well-off in-laws behaving in this way..which is why they have so much money in the first place. They're TIGHT! Do you have to involve your husband at all in this or could you get away with speaking to the couple without him knowing? A bit sneaky, I know but if you end up with the money, it's a win-win isn't it?
1 person likes this
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
10 Apr 13
I am worried he would find out and get mad.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
10 Apr 13
I can understand your concerns but if you got the money back why would he get mad then?
1 person likes this
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
10 Apr 13
To him, his pride is more important than the money.
@GardenGerty (156373)
• United States
9 Apr 13
I know how touchy that male pride can be, but all the people who owe you guys need to be put on notice that you need them to pay you back. The particular situation you are talking about, I would just tell your hubby it has to be done, and that he can do it, by such and such a date, or you will do it yourself.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (156373)
• United States
10 Apr 13
That is the first step to show him the bills.
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
10 Apr 13
He gets annoyed if I even bring it up. I am the one who does the bills though so even though he knows we are racking them up, I don't think he realizes how deep we are getting. I think I may have to sit him down and show him very soon. Maybe then he will sing another tune. I just can't believe people are like that. He worked for several days on this project for them and didn't ask for a penny, he informed them that it would cost $125 to set up what they needed and told them he would put it on our credit card and they could just pay him back, but they don't seem to be making any effort to give him that money. It is very frustrating. He should not even have to ask, they should have just given it to him, or mailed by now. I could never do that to someone.
1 person likes this
• Canada
10 Apr 13
There shouldn't be any pride concerns in this situation, in my opinion. Your husband provided a service, he let the couple know how much the costs would be and they agree to pay those costs. He simply has to contact them and remind them that they haven't yet paid the amount they agreed to and that he will need that money by a specific date that he stipulates to them. I certainly wouldn't nag your spouse about this because that's just going to add stress on top of your current financial situation. You can simply remind him that you need that money for bills as soon as possible and let him know that, if he doesn't feel comfortable following up with the couple, you will go ahead and do so.
@hmkoct5 (2065)
• United States
10 Apr 13
I would ask for the money. I would explain the situation and tell them you are in need of the money. I'm sure they would understand! I mean, who wouldn't understand that? If they don't understand, then they aren't truly friends. I guess it's good to be me and to be broke because nobody ever asks me for money! Maybe you could just drop a lot of hints about all of your financial problems. Maybe they will get a clue and pay you back without you having to ask.
1 person likes this
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
10 Apr 13
You know B he wants everyone to think he is on top of the world, If he knew I posted this I would be in big trouble.
@BabyCheetah (1911)
• Australia
10 Apr 13
Well first thing I'd start with is talking to your husband again about it. Tell him you will be asking nicely for the money back, be sure to let these people know your situation as well. I feel certain they will be willing to pay it back it could be possible they have forgotten about it. Even if he gets annoyed I'm sure he will get over it. Good luck
@beta715 (57)
• Australia
10 Apr 13
I think you should negotiate with your spouse in a rational way, because you need to raise your family. Pride cannot feed your stomach and your kids and pay for those bills. Maybe you and your husband can find a right and comfortable way to get your money back. I know sometime people may feel evil to ask money back from their friends, as the same as me,but life will keep going. No one will help except money. I prefer not to lent money , because sometimes it will hurt people's feeling and I am embarrass to get my money back,too.Anyway,good luch for you,and I hope you can get your money back as soon as possible!
@peavey (16936)
• United States
10 Apr 13
I don't think it would be a good idea to go behind your husband's back to ask for the money, but maybe you could talk to him again? If you could convince him that it was his money and that he deserved it, he might ask, or at least hint to them. It irritates me when people take advantage of others good hearts.
@Pegasus72 (1898)
10 Apr 13
I know how you feel, we have several people who have owed us money for years and they haven't paid us back. I owe to two people myself but will have them paid off before Christmas God willing.
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
9 Apr 13
I think your husband has every right to ask for his money. And I would ask for it. Just have him go and talk to the people who owe and explain your guys situation. Good luck. Hope they pay you soon.
@TLilly12 (1229)
• United States
9 Apr 13
You husband should ask for him money back, he did work for them, and they owe the money for doing the work, that he did for them, he may have said he done it for free, but these day you can't do anything, for free for anybody, hard as times are now.