Should we know our children's diary?

@bintang9 (196)
Indonesia
April 10, 2013 8:59pm CST
I had ever read my diary of my son. Actually I know that it is not good. Because this is his secret and privacy. I was surprise as I knew that actually he wasn't comfort. He felt unhappy.I knew from he had written in the diary " I want to release from my parents that always press me" . Yeah, I never realize that I had done it. I don't want my son depression, so I have to change my behavior, Slowly I asked him, what he want in his life? I try to be as close as possible to him, I try to be his friend. So, I think that knowing his diary can make the better condition. My lotters, do you have such kind of experience with your children's diary?
2 people like this
23 responses
• Philippines
11 Apr 13
Friend, if I was your son, I would be more angry to know that you read my diary, worse is to have read the one that he would rather keep to himself and not tell his parents! I would ask for privacy and space. Yet since you were able to dig through those things and learned about how how he feels for you, then it should really be a call to address the matter in a way that would make your son open up to you and in the way your parental status is preserved and respected. I think you only need to communicate more and show much love. Have a great parenting experience! Remember, your children are God's precious gifts to you, you are to take care of them and discipline them in the way they should go.
1 person likes this
• Syracuse, New York
29 Aug 13
I'm a teenager, and I do not have kids or a diary, but if I did, I wouldn't want my parents reading mine. I'd say that the only time that it's okay to read someone else's journal or diary is if they give you permission.
@indahfth (11164)
• Indonesia
15 Apr 13
My son was 9 years old, and likely, my son did not know what that diary. As a parent, I always try, to always communicate, so I know the feeling of my son. I am trying to make my son was not afraid to tell his feelings.
@blackrusty (3519)
• Mexico
11 Apr 13
I would not now or ever want to read a child's diary this is there private thought muck like our own and most of the time they will work out the issues they have by writing about them i do understand you are concerned but there are far better ways to deal with this make a family talk night one on one with you and your kids to talk about any issues but then you will have to share what you have been going though as well they will soon understand that they are not the only person that has issues good luck
• United States
11 Apr 13
My son's only five, so he's not old enough to keep a private journal. We do what we call "journal time" together. He's very open with me now and I hope it continues throughout the years. I wouldn't read his journal in his older years. He should trust me enough to tell me what's going on, and if not, then i have to do something different. I, also, wouldn't want him finding out I read something so personal to blow up in my face. Then, he will completely lose trust. You don't want that.
@joizee (502)
• Philippines
11 Apr 13
My daughter's just three but I had once kept a diary when I was grade school to high school. Like other kids, if it's private, it's hands off to parents. Which I totally support now that I am a mother too. I would leave their privacy to themselves. What I would do instead is to create closer relationship with my children. Constant conversations, like during dinner, or doing something together would increase their trust and would be more open. I know I sound very realistic but that's how I was raised and I'll raise my kids just like that too. Or maybe I'll try something different. ;) Good luck on parenting! :)
• Philippines
11 Apr 13
try trusting and giving him privacy. it's a good start. if i were your son and i knew your reading my diary, i will hate you the more.
• United Kingdom
11 Apr 13
I have no child. But when I was a child, I have the habit of keeping a diary, and I often asked my parents to read them. Maybe you would feel strange about this. But now I can clearly remember the pictures of the moments we discussed those diaries. They knew whether I was happy or not from my diary, and there were also somethings I wanted them to know. But when I grew up, I don't want anyone to peep my diary. If there were anything I want my parents know I would like to have a talk with them, and they understood me very well.So,I think, you should ask your son if he want you to read his diary.Please respect his feelings. If he is unwilling to let you know what he write, have some heart-to-heart conversation with him will be good. :)
@cttolledo (5024)
• Philippines
11 Apr 13
I think it is okey for the parents to read your kid's diary.. It will help to understands their needs..
@riempie9 (1021)
• South Africa
11 Apr 13
I would never read my son's private diaries or search through his things. He would never forgive me and would not trust me again. However, if he was irresponsible or had a penchant for trouble with the law, or had the wrong type of friends and disobeyed us and had unsavory friends, I would certainly talk to him about it. I would be truthful about my reason for wanting to know and would apprise him of the consequences, if any. My motto would be: if you do well in school and stay out of trouble, this is a point for discussion and negotiation. Actions have consequences.
@riempie9 (1021)
• South Africa
11 Apr 13
A child MUST grow up and know that he has some privacy and that there are things he alone wants to keep to himself. If he or she discovers that you have been spying on him or meddling with his things, he might not trust you again. And you don't want that. You want your child to come to you for all the questions good and bad. You will create a big rift between the two of you if you do not see the value of this advice. Also, keeping some things to himself makes him feel good; he should not be pressurized to share his secrets.
@iluvusabado (2560)
• Philippines
11 Apr 13
definitely a no no. if i were the child, i would be really hurt if i find out my parents read my diary. if you notice there's something wrong with your child's behavior, you should immediately talk to him and fix the problem.
@tinayu (214)
• China
11 Apr 13
I don't have a child.but when i was a junior middle school student, i liked writing something in my diary.so there were many secrets in it.someday i found that my diary was touched by someone.i thought that must be my parents.i askd them and got a positive answer.mom said that they just want to understand me and know what i think every day.at that time,i was very angry and felt them unforgivable.as i grow up,i forgive them,i know they love me,what they do just shows they really want me to grow up healthily.i will support you,only one suggestion: don't let him know!
• Philippines
11 Apr 13
As for me, we should not read our child's diary. It's very private for them that they will certainly feel bad once they will know that their parents is reading their secrets. I think the best thing that a parent should do is be open to there children. Try to be as close as possible to them. In that way, you don't need anymore to read there diaries because they will certainly be the first one to open it up with you. Maybe we're too busy sometimes with all our works, but we should always find time to be a good parents with our kids. We do not only do that because we just want to be a good one but because we want to be a good example to them. They will become a parent also soon and it would be great if our children will tell to their children that their grand parents are the best grand parents in the world. Sounds good right?
• Philippines
11 Apr 13
I never tried it before, but i think in your case it is okay, since most of our children is just keeping or hiding what they feel for us, though we evade there privacy, but i think it is okay since it will not cause trouble.
@ifa225 (11090)
• Indonesia
11 Apr 13
Hi Bintang, I think as a parent we should know what his feelings I always straightly ask my son's feeling about me but he never write any diary before he only write somthing bad about me behind his notes book
@jaiho2009 (39174)
• Philippines
11 Apr 13
My kids don't keep a diary and if ever they will start to have one I am not sure if I will be tempted to read once I saw it open or lying on their table. I have a close relationship with my kids- we're like friends more than mother- kids relationship.
• Pakistan
11 Apr 13
though to read some one diary is not good never do it again now the question is why your son is not comfort ,it why you not notice =his activitie does i thing first you paid intention upon you why you cannot make understand your son closely so he will share his problem with you
@srisahara (4509)
• Indonesia
11 Apr 13
My daughter still 9 years old, she is too young to has a diary. But, I think when our children growing to adolescent we have to be their friend, so they will say what they want in their life and what they want with their parents. I think it is difficult for parents, but we cannot avoid this, the age was change, we cannot treat our children like our parents treat us when we still young. Have a nice day.
@Wendyzwt (49)
• Jingdezhen, China
11 Apr 13
I'm a chinese.As a child,I really don't like my parents read my dairy.You know chinese children doesn't have such freedom to have our own privacy.But,in other side,I always hope my parents can love me and care me.So,If my mom read my dairy,i would anger,but if she talk to me and show her understand for me,i will feel better.Maybe you just need to have a peace conversation without distance.Stand in his sight,you would find more.