I Am So Sick Of Some People

United States
April 13, 2013 1:26am CST
Just now I was put in a difficult situation. How can you be there for a friend when they keep making the same stupid mistakes over and over and over again. I feel so bad but I cannot tell grown adults what to do. I do my best to avoid doing certain things for people in respect to looking out for their best interests and sometimes out of my way above and beyond. I am really close to telling some people to **** off because I'm tired and burnt out and when I get tired and burnt out, I get really moody and soon stop caring.
4 people like this
19 responses
@SIMPLYD (91040)
• Philippines
13 Apr 13
That's just but a natural reaction to friends who despite your giving them advises would continue to do wrong things in their lives. If i were in your place i could have distance myself when they committed the same mistake the second time around.
2 people like this
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
13 Apr 13
Sometimes you can't keep distance because you work with those people or they look after you and involve you forcefully in their problems. It is possible though with friends you hang out with. My boss took me home with the company's car and the clutch had a problem. The thing didn't fit well to first and second gear. The boss repeated the same mistake of changing gears at the traffic jam : neutral when we stop and first gear when we need to go on. Why not keeping the clutch pressed instead of playing with the grip over and over again ?...
@SIMPLYD (91040)
• Philippines
16 Apr 13
You have no choice but to bear with your boss.
• United States
19 Apr 13
Yes and I work with her too but I am dragged into personal drama because of also being her friend. She is not my boss but I am her PCA. I have already told her I am reducing my time there. I used to go waaaaay over my hours and hangout with her because she was my friend and not just some lady I work for. Not anymore, I told her what my schedule was going be that was best for me and I said no more weekends because I am going to match my hours according to what I get paid. I put my life on hold for this, I have been slacking on my online work, I work at night and sleep in the day. I'm all set.
• United States
15 Apr 13
s0 tell them, they are idiots any way,and what every tell the wont matter becuise they dont LIsten any way. if they , THEN YOPU WILL HAVE Hd ypur say and feel better.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Apr 13
I would love to say that and maybe one day I will sneak that one into our conversations lol but she needs me. She really has no one that's a positive influence but I have distanced myself also because I want nothing to do with all of their drama.
@Mavic123456 (21071)
• Thailand
13 Apr 13
ouch then you have a problem hahaha I am just joking but i guess the best way to deal here is to tell the person you are tired and burned out and this person has to think for once in his life.
• United States
19 Apr 13
I agree and I did reduce the amount of time there.
@Mavic123456 (21071)
• Thailand
20 Apr 13
see now you feel better. sometimes, it is just like that we don't need to dip really into someone's problems at all times. sometimes all just need to be is INDEPENDENCE
@stringer321 (5674)
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
13 Apr 13
Tell me about it. I have been working as a storage keeper for less than 30 days now and I don't like my bosses. One of them works with me at the storage and tells me what to do. I have to write notes all the time, arrange the things because he can't lift things up. He works with no order, he does mistakes and blames me. The other boss is the general manager and he is busy and doesn't have a lot of patience for talking with me on the phone when I need to ask him questions about things I have to do. It is more than once that I misunderstood them and problems happened because of that. They think I understand everything... I had a dream that I try to solve a math problem with the general manager on the phone and when I try to suggest something, he shouts "say nothing!, Let me think!!!" after 4 seconds of silence, I decide to end the conversation and feel I hate him.
• United States
19 Apr 13
I couldn't deal with that. Maybe you should apply for other jobs and when you get one, quit. That dream could actually happen, you never know.
• Kiryat Ata, Israel
20 Apr 13
I try to do my best there and wait to see what happens. I want to bring more customers so they buy from our store and the company will earn more money. If it happens, my salary will get higher and I'm sure I will find the best way how to work there. It's always hard at the beginning. I don't give up yet. In that place, I still have time for myself and I get to home before 16:00, so, I have time to volunteer, tutor, read, use the computer...
@celticeagle (124393)
• Boise, Idaho
13 Apr 13
Is it the same person? I would tell this person how you feel.
• United States
19 Apr 13
No and we have since spoken and cleared it up. It's a complex situation though and many contributing factors as to why she makes these choices, she's not a bad person and what makes it worse is that feelings are involved between her and another person in the situation. You know that can cause bad decisions all on it's own lol. I work for her but she was a friend first so I am dragged into drama. I called her son the other night and he used my call of concern to attack her with accusations, played all of us involved against each other so he could piece together a theory that suits him. Every time I see him there he is always standing and hovering over her like she is the child and he is the parent and doesn't seem to care about her at all and he is supposed to be her surrogate. I thought by working for a friend helping driving her places and helping her around house would be great and get me out of the house because I work online and with musicians doing social media but I now see it can get a lot deeper. Thanks, DJ Marco Andre
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (124393)
• Boise, Idaho
20 Apr 13
Working for a friend can be ticklish at best. What a situation to be in. What in the world are you going to do? Take it a day at a time.
• Marikina, Philippines
16 Apr 13
Ahhh. A friend who always be there in times of trouble through thick and thin but, it depends on the definition of a friend. People have different concept of a friend. Well, maybe that friend does not know what s/he doing. Maybe s/he thought that s/he's doing the right thing. They act their own and solve their own problems and at the end, there is a high possibility that they commit mistakes again. There is two options I guess. You guide them, understand them and always be there as a friend or leave them because they are diiferent than you.
• United States
19 Apr 13
She realizes now I was trying to help her and not set her up or anything. I'm going to guide her for as long as I can but no promises. I will try because I'm just about the only person she has that cares.
@jenny1015 (13376)
• Philippines
15 Apr 13
You do not deserve to be with people who doesn't value the kind of friendship that you offer them. We often want to be of help to people. But sometimes, we can get tired of people who constantly hurt and disappoint us.
• United States
19 Apr 13
I agree but it is hard because of work. So I am reducing the amount of time I spend there because I used to go over my hours because she is my friend and not just some lady I work for. I am her PCA and I thought her being my friend first would be great but it's not so great :/ and it's time I get back to my life also.
@dismalgrin (2606)
• United States
14 Apr 13
I hear you. I had a friend that was much like that. She just repeated the same mistakes over and over and all she did was want to nit pick at things in my life instead. After much time dealing with this and getting so sick of it, I decided that if I just walked away it would be okay. Not like a spoiled brat or anything, but just calmly walk away. We aren't friends anymore, and she continued to make the same mistakes over and over till they all blew up in her face. I started picking up the pieces of my life and have built my life to a much healthier place than dealing with her problems everyday.
• United States
19 Apr 13
Those are the worst people who deflect from there own issues by putting others down in some way. Another issue is I'm not exactly friends with her boyfriend but I work there and he comes there sometime. He would throw anyone under the bus and deflect from himself in a heartbeat. He is the major influence of what she does.
@kokomo (1867)
• Philippines
14 Apr 13
You already did your part and so its your turn for you to give up and do what's best for you and not fro other people.
• United States
19 Apr 13
I agree, that's why I officially told her that I'm reducing the amount of time I spend there and get back to focusing on myself and my web site business.
@Pegasus72 (1900)
14 Apr 13
I know too many people who do not learn from their mistakes and do them over and over again never getting ahead.
• United States
19 Apr 13
Sad but true :/
• Philippines
14 Apr 13
yes. being there for a friend who did the same mistakes over and over again is foolishness. but that is the value of being a friend. being a fool at times. maybe most of the times. being a friend is to give an unconditional love. but that does not excuse not to tell or allow your friend to learn something from life. maybe you could walk through him or her on what really is the matter why he or she cannot give up what she/he has been doing. and with it, walk through the necessary steps in order to help him or her out. but still, leave room for mistakes. we are just humans. bounded to make some or most mistakes in life. but hey, this is what makes us mature as long as we move on in life.
• United States
19 Apr 13
Yes I agree. The problem is that feelings and love is involved with another guy that comes around us. That's one of the main reasons she does this, he is a huge influence and many times bad. Her family treats her like crap well actually less then crap because they don't call or visit and it's always a confrontation when her son is there it seems.
@tinayu (214)
• China
14 Apr 13
oh, there must be a common issue among the people working together. i also can't stand someone who keeps making stupid things.at first , i just told him the right way, but he seemed not realize that and kept on doing by himself.now i don't want to say any words.but i am used to such things,i don't get moody as it is bad to me.don't let this kind of person make you unhappy.that is his loss,not yours.
• United States
19 Apr 13
I agree
• United States
14 Apr 13
I totally understand. I have a co-worker who tells me the same disastrous stories week after week. I had to finally ask her why she kept coming to me for advice but she never listened. Just kept making the same mistakes over and over. I finally had to distance myself from her because it was too draining on me. Especially when I saw she wasn't listening. Sometimes I think people really just want an audience instead of good sound advice.
• United States
19 Apr 13
lol that's so funny you say that because sometimes I think it's just a show for many people. She really has problems though but some people would play on it for sympathy.
• United States
13 Apr 13
I agree, you can't really tell anyone what to do with their life. Most people learn by doing. Eventually they'll get sick of the repeat. Take some space. Be there when you feel you can be. That's the best you can do.
• United States
19 Apr 13
I agree :)
@mariaperalta (19088)
• Mexico
13 Apr 13
Ive been there with a good friend here. She never seems to want to help herself. And she can. Makes me so mad sometimes. Have a great day...
• United States
19 Apr 13
Me too!! :(
• Philippines
13 Apr 13
Such people should realize that the more they do the wrong things, the more they put themselves in the pedestal. They should consider that there are people caring for them and putting them in the best ways to be positive however, they just ignore and not even care on the efforts you put on them. If I’m in such situation, I would probably also get fed up and as a result, let them be. After all, it’s their problem and not mine. They should make the best on how to solve it.
• United States
19 Apr 13
True but it's not so easy for me because of work so I reduced my time and exposure to their issues. She knows I care but there are other issues that contribute to the big picture.
@natliegleb (5181)
• India
13 Apr 13
they are always like that trying to get to the skin of the character of the person and trying to irriate others only
• United States
19 Apr 13
She is not a bad person. It's just that she went nuts because I called her son. He started lies, fishing for answers and accusing her of things so she thought I was talking her personal business but I was not. Besides, he said he was going that morning anyway. He would have walked in whether I called or not.
@deodavid (4150)
• Philippines
13 Apr 13
Dragon, I guess in some way we are kinda the same, in ways that we tend to get fed off people who commit mistakes over and over again. And it seems like thy do not learn from there mistakes and tend to take so much time growing up. It gets really tiring and in the end you will just loose interest.
• United States
19 Apr 13
I agree, I'm so over it so I did what I mentioned in the comment above that I wrote.
@drannhh (15237)
• United States
6 Sep 15
In this case you might wonder if there isn't a reason why this person seems not to have any other friends. You can only do so much. Good luck with this!