Online relationships?

Ireland
April 27, 2013 4:01pm CST
With the popularity with the show/movie "catfish" it brings up an interesting side to this, that you could develop feelings for someone and want to be with them but then meet them and then they aren't the person they thought they were. Of course this isn't always the case, just curious as always to find out if you have had any online relationships. Regardless of whether you have or not what are your opinions of them. I have had one myself and think it was a massive mistake cause she was from the us and it didn't work in the end. Although the funny thing is I introduced her to a friend at the time and they are now married, also aren't talking to me (i'm happy with that) it's funny how things work out. Although I still think were very silly cause he is only 19 and her 21 (i think) and they have been married for a years or two now. I personally don't think online relationships are the best but I know plenty will disagree.
1 person likes this
14 responses
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
28 Apr 13
I knew stories of people meeting online and ending up getting married. I never realized it was possible, but there are people who claims that it was something that they did not expect to happen but somehow found a way to make their relationship successful. Maybe it is because not all would think of really getting too serious about it for fear of meeting the wrong people and end up being in danger.
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
29 Apr 13
Going to the extent of marriage for some could be a sign of desperation. We know that there are a lot of people who thinks that getting married to a foreigner, for example, would be their ticket out of poverty. So getting married to a person whom they have not met is one great risk that they are willing to take.
• Ireland
28 Apr 13
You know the one thing I will say for an online relationship you can find out stuff about your partner that you probably wouldn't find out if it was a face to face situation but then again with text and chatting online, that is still possible. What I really don't understand is people who agree to get married even though they have never even met, that is just pure madness.
• Ireland
29 Apr 13
It is really is but what you are talking about is a different kind of desperation. Some people do it purely just to have someone in their life.
• Philippines
28 Apr 13
Hi andrewbarclave! I've been into online relationships and I'm currently into that until now. Yeah, I agree that there are possibilities that the character they show online is different from offline. It's best to be yourself and show your flaws while you're dating online. It takes time to know someone. I suggest we have limitations in terms of privacy when we haven't met the person in real life yet (Offline). I've met someone who's a violent person when we've met. Although I've seen some signs when we were still chatting online and the way he bad mouth all his ex girlfriends. Good thing I did not marry him or I might be a battered house wife. The mistake I made was I added him so fast to my Facebook account and let him control my life. Anyways, I am happy with my current online relationship. We've met already and so far so good. . It' a tough relationship but if true love is there, I think it' worth it.
• Ireland
28 Apr 13
Yeah it's amazing how quickly someone can become a "need" in your life, you are as likely to meet a bad guy in person but at least then you should have better judgement. I think as far as sharing with someone online, you have to be careful cause you could very easily scare someone away with sharing too much too quickly.
• Ireland
28 Apr 13
And yes you are right, if it's true love it is worth it. It can be harder to judge than you realise though.
@cobalt20 (1318)
• Philippines
28 Apr 13
It is not bad when it comes to online relationship. I have experience these but I don't know. I have still my gf on my side.
• Ireland
28 Apr 13
Is she an online gf?
@Zer0Stats (1147)
• India
29 Apr 13
I'm currently in a relationship that started out online and now has been going on for about 2 years(I've since moved in with her,and I'm happier than I've ever been in my life).So it can work out. But I had two long-distance relationships in the past that blew up into utter and complete failures.I don't know if it was my age or circumstances,but the blowups and breakups pretty much scarred me for life.I wasn't ready for that.I did gain some measure of wisdom and patience from the experience,though.It's decisions like long distance relationships(and of course,many other things) that make everyone's story unique.
• Ireland
29 Apr 13
Well it's great that you learned from them and are happy now. Thats another good point too that it is of course the two parties own choice to start a long distance relationship.
• Philippines
28 Apr 13
well as per my experienced I been inlove and being fooled from online relationship I have.I thought He is single but after 2 meetups I discover he is married So i have to leave him.He is from hongkong but he is also a filipino like me.On my first relationship before him we don't meet personally He is Indian working in ABuDhabi and after I finish my colleges He gives me an ultimatum for our almost 2 year online relationship to meet and follow him in U.A.E. but I was being victim of a illegal recruiter going to that country for a job offer. and that is the reason I delayed then he fly back to India and had a fixed marriage from his parents arrangements. and really I was really hurt seeing their wedding pictures online.He leave me he thought I am not serious with him. I also have friend who is now married with a girl they just met online last year.They are now living together in Minnesota . It was also featured in one of our tv programs about the internet scam where the suspect looking for a relationship online and then will say that he has bank there and visa has been prepared and then he/she need to meet this person who will arranged the documents and the money about the bank. and then when he met the person this is will ask for down payment so the victim can claim the money from the bank and also get a visa. We must have to be smart there are many fools here online but there are also few who are serious in looking for a relationship just like me before.for 100 person you will meet there is only 1 person who is really serious as per my opinion and experiences
• Ireland
28 Apr 13
Yeah you really have to have your wits about you when meeting someone online, this is why it's so tricky meeting someone from another country, simply cause it's such a risk to do. I do hope you don't have anymore situations like this and find a good man who will appreciate you.
• India
28 Apr 13
i have seen lots of person now days chatting to each other by the help of internet its easy to share for your feeling and thought and you can batter understand about your self after knowing to each other me try to close some budy and get to perfect and after that we feel its very good person for me,,i shoud not leave then,,,,then after some day we call just he/she my lover,,,,its open relation ship no need to create any presoure each other,,,,,if u like some one so make otherwise just leave them??????
• Ireland
28 Apr 13
Well yes this is the good thing about online, that it is easier to share, especially if you don't use your real name. I know I have learned a lot about myself by talking to people online and also have learned a decent amount about women. Although with that I think real life experience cannot be beaten. As far as your last point, I can't really understand it but I think I know what you are saying that if they don't like you that way, then best off not talking to them. The thing I find about online relationships is that words like perfect and soulmate get thrown around a lot. I mean maybe it's true but don't abuse them.
• Philippines
28 Apr 13
Actually it is in the two person if the really love is other no matter what the distance is. But it is much better if you see you love one in person, long distance relationship need more trust from each other, and you must have time for the person.
• Ireland
28 Apr 13
Well of course you can never argue with true love and if so then it will work out regardless of the situation. Yes you are also so right about long distance.
@ctryhnny (3460)
• United States
27 Apr 13
I've met quite a few guys online in the past and some have remained friends and others I couldn't care less for. I'm sort of seeing a guy now that I recently met on cl. He seems very nice (and he's cute!). It started out he was going to just look at my laptop for me but I guess we're dating now. I like him and hope something comes from it. We have a lot in common.
• Ireland
27 Apr 13
And is there much distance between yous?
@longbangod (1785)
• Philippines
28 Apr 13
This is very apparent to those who met online through chatting. Later on became in love with each other and eventually agreed to get married. This happen normally between people from different races or those who belong to different countries. Being brought up a kind of life in too different ways but were able to meet up because they love each other, and become willing to understand whatever differences they may have. I don't experience the same myself but I had long distance relationship before. Just like online sweethearts its not really easy. Most of them ended being separated.
• Ireland
28 Apr 13
Well I have no problem with this once the feeling between chatting to them online and meeting them in person is the same or probably stronger when meeting in person. Yes long distance isn't worth the trouble in my opinion.
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
28 Apr 13
I have had both positive and negative experiences with online relationships. When my ex-boyfriend and I broke up I joined a couple of online dating sites and through one of those sites I got in touch with a man. We exchanged emails for a while and they we decided to meet. The meeting was a disappointment, the man was very different when I met him in person, we didn't get along at all and we only met once. The second meeting was also kind of disappointing. We got along really well online, but when we met I wasn't attracted to him and he wasn't attracted to me. The third person that I met later became my husband and today we have been married for 4 years.
• Ireland
28 Apr 13
Yes your first two cases do sound very "catfish" like, although nowhere near as extreme. It's cool that you did find love from it and I want to make clear that i'm not damned anyone who does. I just prefer meeting someone in person.
@succeednow (1633)
• Singapore
28 Apr 13
Hi andrew, I too tend to agree with you that online relationship cannot work. It may be a starting point but I think a long lasting and meaningful relationship must be sealed through face-to-face contact and not through cyber space. Of course there are exceptions, rare exceptions. Maybe these people are lucky and they are a perfect match. Have a good day.
• Ireland
28 Apr 13
Yes thats exactly my view and I mean plenty of people these days will meet someone in person and then text eachother (I know I do) to find out more about the person. It's roughly the same thing I think and also I think that that can work. As some people have already said, it is possible but as you say very rare.
@Raine38 (12257)
• United States
27 Apr 13
Online relationships isn't for everyone. My husband's friend married someone whom he met off the internet. Their marriage life is a mess right now but that's another story.
• Ireland
28 Apr 13
I'm guessing they knew each other for long enough in person before getting married and the same for being married. So I guess it's not cause of the fact that they met online.
28 Apr 13
Online relationships can be good only if you make it work but me and my boyfriend met online and we stay in the same town. It's been two years and we are doing good.
• Ireland
28 Apr 13
See it's a bit different if you meet someone online and they live close cause you know if yous decide to, yous could meet very easily. Even long distance can work but it's so hard and both parties have to really truely want it.
• United States
28 Apr 13
its never the same as a genuine physical relationship in which you can see one another
• Ireland
28 Apr 13
That my view of it alright. I mean anytime i've had a gf I would be counting the days till i'd see her again. It's just not the same buzz to go online to a gf. It's incredible the different a simple hug can do even.