People who are rude to you and say positive things about you to other people

@Porcospino (31366)
Denmark
April 29, 2013 11:12am CST
I think that many of us have met people who were nice to us when we talked to them and talked bad about us behind our back, but have you ever experienced the opposite situation? (a person who was rude to you when you met him/her and said positive things about you to other people) I have experienced that situation once. It happened when I worked in home health care. One of our clients was rude, sarcastic and very critical when I visited her home, and she behaved the same way when my co-workers visited her. One day the head nurse said to me: "I want to talk to you about (name of that woman)" and I immediately thought: "What did she complain about this time?" and then the head nurse said: "I just wanted to tell you that she appreciates your work and thinks that you are very good at your job" I thought that the nurse was joking, but she was serious. That woman had actually called the office and said a lot of positive things about me. I was really surprised, because she was always so rude when I met her in person, and I really didn't expect her to say anything positive about me (or anyone else)
3 people like this
18 responses
• Valdosta, Georgia
29 Apr 13
I have met someone like that and I think with this person at least they were so harsh on me because they wanted to see me better myself because to someone else they were praising me and wishing the best for me. I think they were just hard on me so I would want better for myself. I don't think they were actually trying to be mean to me.
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
29 Apr 13
I understand what you mean. Sometimes people are harsh on us because they want to help us and not because they want to hurt us. Sometimes we don't realize the real intentions behind their actions when it happens and later on we are able to see that they actually meant well I have experienced that sometimes.
1 person likes this
@ajithlal (14716)
• India
30 Apr 13
I also think that most probably the person want to help you to do better and not to hurt you and most probably wanted to be successful in life.
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@dagami (1158)
• Rome, Italy
29 Apr 13
i had a professor in the university who was always rude to me. he would always single me out of the class, interrogate me, and was always making me feel inadequate with my responses to his questions. of course he knew more than i did because he was the one teaching me. i always felt that however hard i tried in his class, it wasn't enough. when the semester ended and i saw my grades, i was surprised that he gave me the highest possible grade a prof can give to his students. i wondered about it and my other friends told me that he was always making me an example to his other classes. while i thought he wasn't satisfied with the way i was doing, he was challenging me so i would keep on studying.
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@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
30 Apr 13
I think that we can learn something from your story because we sometimes get the wrong impression of other people's actions, and we don't realize that they actually meant well. I can imagine how surpriced you were when you discovered that the professor had given you the highest grade that you could get. I experienced something similar in high school. I had chosen the language line and one of the subjects was Latin. I didn't like those lessons and I had a strong feeling that the teacher didn't like me. He often critizied me and made fun of me. When we got our grades I expected a low grade, but my grade was one of the highest in the class. I was happy of course but really surpriced.
• Philippines
29 Apr 13
It was nice that someone appreciates your effort. It might be because that woman challenged you. People are really different. There are some people who challenges us. One must not judge people just because we thought him as rude.
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
29 Apr 13
I think you are right about the things you wrote about not judging her. It was a challenge for me to avoid judging her. She was so harsh and sarcastic and she constantly critized the things that we did, but I think her behavoir came from her own situation. She had a chronic illness which limited her life in many ways and I think that her frustration about her own situation made her treat us the way that she did. She was very rude and very critical, and I didn't feel at ease around her, but part of me also felt sorry for her. I was very, very surpriced when I heard that she had said those nice things about me, I really didn't expect that at all.
1 person likes this
• India
30 Apr 13
I too know people like that, one is my dad and others are my friends, if we do anything, all these persons I mentioned will make me cry by saying bad word to me and my jobs, but if someone else will try to show me lower in my personality or my job, they will start showing the goods in me, it's just a white and black sheet of checkerboard, if you are playing whites, then you have to worry about the blacks... These are really good persons
• Philippines
30 Apr 13
Isn't that crazy! That is just one of the ironies in life. I have also met people like that. Just when I thought that they don't like me, it is actually the exact opposite. But I still don't understand why people behave like that..
2 people like this
@TLilly12 (1229)
• United States
29 Apr 13
I t was nice of the client said something nice about you even thou she was very rude to you, I had people say negative things, about me to my face and behind my back, so I don't worry about what people, have to say about me at all.
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
30 Apr 13
I think that is a good way to look at it. Other people might say bad things to us or criticize us behind our back, and we might not be able to change that, but at least we can decide how we are going to deal with those things and we can choose that we aren't going to worry about other people's opinions. I used to worry a lot about that, but today those things have become less important to me. I was really surpriced when I discovered that the client had said positive things about me, becasue she was always so rude to me (and everyone else) when we visted her in her home. I didn't like her harsh comments and her criticism, but I also felt kind of sorry for her because she had chronic illness that made her life difficult.
@ajithlal (14716)
• India
30 Apr 13
I have met lots of people who were nice to me and tell bad things behind me. I think it is wonderful to see such people and I think such people do care for people. I think such people are true people and are true friends who do care for others.
@iyamapa (259)
• Philippines
30 Apr 13
sometimes it is really funny that this happens. Well, for sometime I do it so I can take away myself from a longer discussion. I remember a classmate of mine that I don't really like. Now, when people asks me about her.. I just say that I don't know anything about her. Well, just to keep away from the crowd :)
1 person likes this
@yanzalong (18981)
• Indonesia
30 Apr 13
I think I only experienced the first one. Some were nice to in front of me but said bad things about me behind me. I haven't proved the opposite one.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
30 Apr 13
That is rare find. I never met a person like that before. Most of them are good when you are with them, but talk trash behind your back. I hope more people become like her.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
30 Apr 13
Yes it has happened but it was with my family members, in private they will scold me for mistakes but to outsiders they will tell positive things about me. In fact I think this is ideal and should be done whenever possible. "Criticise in private, praise in public."
2 people like this
@Deepak2J (1178)
• India
30 Apr 13
Wow.. never heard of anyone like her. Most of the people talk bad about others behind our back. She must have been a very good woman.
1 person likes this
@CuteMandy (162)
• China
30 Apr 13
I like this kind of person very much because they are really nice to us. Those people say good before us and say bad behind us who scare me totally because I don't know what happen while the head scolded me.
1 person likes this
• Romania
30 Apr 13
Maybe she was in a bad mood when you visited her. I have a friend who acts just like that. His goal is to be harsh with me so I can progress some more. I think very highly of people who don't complement me very often (if a person does that he is clearly not being honest)but instead point out my defect6s so I can work at them. Sincerity is the best trait a friend can have.
@allen0187 (58444)
• Philippines
19 Aug 15
That is a unique situation as it is usually the other way around - people are nice to us when we are talking with them but would say really nasty stuff about us when they are talking behind our backs. I guess, I really wouldn't mind if that is the case. I'd prefer to hear the negative things about me up front rather than hear it from someone else or not hear it at all.
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
30 Apr 13
Hi Porcospino Of course, I have two such people who have always been rude and really rude if I can say in terms of words for me when I have been with them. But these two have been the ones who have always been full of praises of whatever I have done and also have stood by my side when anyone else said anything bad about me to them. One of them is in family so I guess I have to skip this one, but the other was my senior at work. She always was so rude in front of me - she never appreiciated my work and if I went with her behavior towards me, I would have left the organization on the second day of my appointment. But the people around had told me that she had a foul tongue but a very clean and pure heart. Over the 17 months I was with that organization, there have been so many instances where she made me realize that she did have a clean heart.
@RAJASB (109)
• India
30 Apr 13
Sometimes peopele are rude towards you in a way to extract the best out of you and test your patience and abilities. It doesn't have anything to do with your personal matters.It feels really good and comes as a surprise when someone whom you never expect to speak good about you.
• Bulgaria
30 Apr 13
That's really nice. May be there are other people like her. I hava never met or I don't know. Most of the people around me are the opposite. They're nice with others and at the moment the person is gone they started to talk bad things about him/her. You are really lucky! And good at your job
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