Losing a child is hard

@rosekiss (30380)
Eugene, Oregon
August 27, 2015 3:17pm CST
I am posting this because 38 years ago today, actually, I gave birth to a daughter. Well, before she was born, she was left in the birth canal and she suffoccated. I was just devastated when she was born, as to go through nine months of pregnancey, a long labor, only to give birth to a stillborn baby, was so hard. I miss her everyday, and I think I always will. Sure, I have two other childrne, but there is an emptiness in my heart that losing her will never be able to fill. I never thought that this would happen to me, and since it has, I must continue to go on like I have all these years. I love and miss you Ellen Marie Waterson.
13 people like this
13 responses
• United States
28 Aug 15
I am sorry dear friend for the loss of your child like that. It is something that never leaves you I can see. I do know the pain of loss of a child also. Rip Ellen.
3 people like this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Aug 15
I am sorry for your loss as well. I will never ever forget her, as I miss her terribly. not having the joy of holding my baby, has been so painful. I will get to hold her again one day, and hold onto that. Thank you for your response and happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Aug 15
@rosekiss Sorry for your pain rosekiss. Thank you also for your caring words. Yes, we will see them again one day.
• United States
28 Aug 15
I'm sorry to hear that Rose. I miscarried at 4 1/2 months with my last one, and that was hard enough. I don't think I could have handled going the whole 9 months.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Aug 15
I am sorry for your loss as well. It has to be hard at any time.Time has healed in some ways, but it still hurts. I miss her a lot and will always miss her. It was hard going for the whole nine months, and in a way, I wish that I hadn't carried her the whole way through, as it might have been better, evern though that would habe been hard too, but not as hard.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Aug 15
@TexanTornado We both talked about it for awhile, but then decided since we had the other two kids that we should focus on them.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Aug 15
@rosekiss It was hard. I had depression settle in, but I had 3 boys to care for, so I had to snap out of it. It's not something we talk about. I don't know how you did it. But glad you managed to work through it. Yes, carrying full term, has to be a lot harder.
1 person likes this
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
28 Aug 15
I am sorry you lost your daughter and the reason why. It makes me thankfully so much more for my daughter. She may have mental disabilities but she's here. When she was being born, she was so big. She got stuck in my canal. I stopped having contractions. She should of been a c-section. The doctors and nurses had to push on my stomach to get her out. She was huge compared to my boys. I stopped having kids after her.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Aug 15
I am happy to hear that you didn't lose her, as she must so precious to you. I do have a son and daughter that were born before Ellen was, but not having her, leaves a hole that can never be filled. It still hurts and probably always will. Thanks for your response, and happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
• Defiance, Ohio
28 Aug 15
@rosekiss Yes, she is very precious to me. I fear I may have babied her more when she was little than I should have. I am lucky I have never lost a child. I am sorry you have lost yours. My heart hurts for you.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
30 Aug 15
@rusty2rusty I don't want to forget about her completely, but on the other hand, I want to be able to move on and live what life I have left.
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
28 Aug 15
I am so sorry you had to lose your baby girl Ellen marie..No Mother should have to go through that ever.. My oldest sister went through something similar back in 1964 and her son was stillborn..we were ll devastated..she has 2 daughters I have never had to experience anything like that but i feel for you mothers that do.. hugs dear one
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Aug 15
What was the hardest to take was the fact that my sister-in-law, was in labor at the time, and she give birth to my niece. I thought it so unfair, that she got to hold hers, and I couldn't mine. She turned out to be one of the worst mothers ever, as she abandoned her girls. Thanks for the response, and happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
28 Aug 15
@rosekiss I see and you are reminded everyday with your niece..yes it was unfair...I am truly so sorry dear one..
1 person likes this
@Rosekitty (19368)
• San Marcos, Texas
28 Aug 15
@rosekiss what a horrible man to laugh at that..good riddance to him i say..
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
6 Sep 15
A horrible experience for any mother to go through. My mum suffered 2 miscarriages before she had me and the following year, my sister
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
6 Sep 15
Oh my, I am sorry to hear that. That really had to be hard on her. Things can and do happen that is totally out of our control, but good always comes out of traagedy, and the good thing is, she had you.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
6 Sep 15
@arthurchappell That is so true. I have always wondered what would have been if my daughter had lived. I will never find out, but I sure do think about it a lot.
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
6 Sep 15
@rosekiss it is just natural to reflect on such thoughts. No doubt it makes your children all the more precious to you too
1 person likes this
28 Aug 15
I am sooo very sorry for your loss. I have a sister and a friend who have both gone through this. My sister had a still born and my friend lost her chold when she was 2 years old I believe. Does a miscarriage from the very first positive test count? I found out I was pregnant and the same day I found out, I got really sick and started cramping. I spent two months being "pregnant" with a mass in my tubes before having to have surgery to remove my whole tube. But the first time I was that a test was positive and then started bleeding, it was so hard. I cried knowing something was wrong and I was right. I believe once you realize you are pregnant, it doesnt matter if there is a heart beat or not because you are still carrying a child. It hurt so bad that I cried every day til the tube was taken out.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Aug 15
@hovis0711 When it happens to others, I feel the same. When it happened to me, I was totally devastated, as I never thought it would. After I lost her, we both decided not to try anymore. We already had two before her, so I was happy I had them.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Aug 15
That is sad for you, and I am sorry to hear about when you went through. Yes, I would say a miscarriage counts, as you were carrying a baby and lost it. No mother should have to got through that either.Thanks for your response, and happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
28 Aug 15
@rosekiss I feel bad for anyone who lost a child. Even if I hate the so called person, my heart will break for them. =(
1 person likes this
@ifa225 (14364)
• Indonesia
29 Aug 15
I can feel you, I am loosing my mother about 13 years ago I miss her always We have beautiful memories that linger in my mind Sometimes I cry when I remember her I believe Ellen Marie is waiting for you and missing you too
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
28 Aug 15
I am sorry you lost your baby like that . It must really be so hurtful .
1 person likes this
@ifa225 (14364)
• Indonesia
29 Aug 15
@rosekiss some say you should let it go so she can be peaceful there
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
30 Aug 15
@ifa225 I have let it go for the most part, but when the anniversary comes every year, then it starts all over again. I will be fine though, as it has been so long that it is much easier to cope now than it was after it happened.
27 Aug 15
That is very sad. I'm so sorry to hear about this. One day you two will meet again though! I can't imagine the pain of losing a child!
1 person likes this
@cgalavia (1436)
• Philippines
30 Aug 15
I can feel you though I have never lost a child.It's never really easy to move forward with a pain in your heart.I know how hurtful it was, life must go on,Ellen will always be a memory that is never be forgotten.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
30 Aug 15
So very true. I may have never held her, but I still think about what might have been, and how she would have turned out. Thank you for your response, and happy mylotting.
@jstory07 (134579)
• Roseburg, Oregon
23 Sep 15
I loss a baby girl tywenty three years ago and that was the worse day of my life. I will always miss her to.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
23 Sep 15
I am sorry to hear that. Yes, that was my worst day too. What started out as a good day, ended up in pure sadness. I was hoping to have a baby to hold, but alas, it wasn't meant to be I guess. I think of her quite often, and the tears just start floweing as I don't know why it had to happen.
@sofssu (23662)
28 Aug 15
I am so sorry for your loss, I can understand the pain to some extent I lost a baby at 6 months.. to miscarriage and I grieved and grieved for two and half years until I had my last baby. It is terrible. I know how you can miss a child who has never been active in the real world.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Aug 15
It has been hard, and i know it will always be hard, but I am glad that I have two other children to love and talk to, as it makes all the difference. I will always miss her but I know I will see her again someday, and I am looking forward to that. Thank you for your response, and happy mylotting.
• United States
28 Aug 15
When I was pregnant, I always feared he worst. I did get lucky and he was born healthy. I can't even imagine the pain of the loss you went through all those years ago. I'm so very sorry.