ADHD or lack of discipline

@savak03 (6684)
United States
October 13, 2015 8:25pm CST
Schools been in for almost a quarter now but something happened the first two weeks of school that I had wanted to talk about. I hesitated because it is a subject that I have been passionate about for several years and I wanted to be sure that I was calm when I presented it here. A friend of mine on Facebook posted a picture of her child's conduct report for the first ten days of school. He is in kindergarten. On this report there were three days he was talkative, two days he was out of his desk, and three days he was off task, and one day he didn't complete his work. Yet on test day he got a smiley face because he had done well on the test. There were also three notes that the paperwork that parents have to fill out needed to be returned and three requests for his homework to be returned. In my opinion these six things were the parents responsibility, after all he is only in kindergarten The mother posted this because she was so happy that they were going to put him on medication for ADHD. She cited this conduct report as proof that he needed it. My opinion is that he needed some guidance and a parent that would follow through on their responsibilities. After all kindergarten is the grade where children learn what is expected of them at school. They can't possibly think that he could master it in ten days could they? So, once again drugs are used to keep a child from making a fuss. How is he going to learn if he is drugged into a stupor?
13 people like this
10 responses
@yukimori (10142)
• United States
14 Oct 15
Kindergartners aren't supposed to be sitting at desks doing work all day, yet that's what the local school district feels is appropriate. Mine is constantly losing points in the ClassDojo app for being off task, talking, not doing her work... the teacher sends worksheets home for her to complete, but I've chosen not to force my daughter to do them because the teacher is denying her recesses and making her stay in when she doesn't complete her work 'on time.' None of it's graded. The kid isn't completing the work because she's bored stiff and going stir-crazy in the classroom. We spend the evenings going to the park and the lake so she can act like the kid she is.
4 people like this
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
14 Oct 15
I like the fact that you are balancing out the schools rigid policy. Sometimes children need to spend a little more time on classwork but a healthy amount of playtime is also important so they don't learn to resent school. A bored child, no matter how smart will not excel but they do need to learn the core material so they can move on to more challenging work. The key is to keep the child interested and the key to that is to break it down into short lessons so they don't get fidgety.
2 people like this
@yukimori (10142)
• United States
14 Oct 15
@savak03 Yeah, I mean, the kid knows a ton of stuff. She can tell you the difference between dinosaurs and pterosaurs, she can identify the differences between a ton of skeletons, and the other day we had an in-depth discussion about why snails have shells that led to me explaining the difference between vertebrates and invertebrates to her. She just hates sitting at a desk writing the same letter for 20-30 minutes at a time.
3 people like this
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
14 Oct 15
@yukimori I don't blame her. I hated that too.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (158423)
• Boise, Idaho
14 Oct 15
I so agree with you. It seems that in a lot of instances the teacher will say the child is having issues when it is actually just their age. And, I also agree the parents need to be keeping a handle on their behavior at home and doing their part.
4 people like this
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
20 Oct 15
The teachers are in fact overwhelmed by the number of students they have to watch. They get less and less help and have larger and larger classes each year. So, I do understand if a teacher is reaching for a lifeline. I just think medicating them is not the right lifeline.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (111025)
• El Paso, Texas
14 Oct 15
I fear that too many of those tween 20 n 30 were raised to believe that meds will solve all kinds of problems, but like you said all a child that young needs is guidance. I actually don't get why small children aren't learning about nature first, it's a natural learning field and they need to learn about nature long before they learn to read.
2 people like this
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
14 Oct 15
You are so right. Parents today are so quick to take their child to the doctor for the slightest little hurt or illness. And since they had to visit the doctor he feels compelled to write some prescription which will often do no good and may be harmful in the long run.
3 people like this
@rebelann (111025)
• El Paso, Texas
14 Oct 15
Exactly @savak03 I recall an article I read many years ago about how a Native American raised his son, he wrote that first he took his boy with him and just let the boy ask questions and by example he taught his son to observe nature and all her beauty. He also wrote that once his son started school he was no longer interested in nature, to me that is a crying shame.
2 people like this
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
14 Oct 15
@rebelann Yes but as he learns what the schools can teach he'll regain his love of nature. There has to be a balance.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Oct 15
It is usually lack of discipline. I dont care what conditions are present, if you dont discipline, they will be no guidance.
3 people like this
• United States
15 Oct 15
You make a great point here, OceanT. If a child is not being disciplined and taught some kind of structure, then it is difficult to determine what other issues he or she might or might not have. Once the child has consistent discipline and structure, then it makes it much easier to evaluate and determine what other actions (if any) might be needed.
3 people like this
• United States
17 Oct 15
@purplealabaster Yes purple, I am not saying that the condition is not present, but I do hope that a child will first have the proper environment.
3 people like this
• United States
14 Oct 15
Oh!!! I completely agree! Not that ADHD isn't real, but from the description you gave? That was nothing more than a [b][/b]very normal 5 year old. I was told that because my son didn't listen or sit still that he had this (from a stranger) and I am glad I didn't listen to her. For one, I also was not a listener and very hyper as a kid, but I just had a lot of energy and I still do, yet I can focus and get work done. My son is the same way, he is 28 now and he is a hard worker
3 people like this
• United States
14 Oct 15
Children are not raised anymore. You are right they are given medication so the adults job is easier. I don't know what happened but I believe it is because parents both work and there is no guidance at home. When I grew up my Mother was at home and taught us right and wrong, how to act in public and politeness. Of course it is not possible now because families depend on 2 incomes. So sad that children are basically raising themselves or the teachers are raising them.
3 people like this
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
14 Oct 15
I fear for the next generation. Hopefully there will be some children who were raised by parents who believed in discipline despite the governments interference so that they can raise their children to be the leaders that are needed.
3 people like this
• United States
28 Feb 16
I agree this seems way too young to be placing a child on medication, especially if there was no history of ADHD like behavior before school documented. Even if it seems needed it can cause major side effects, and the part that I hate it can be easily diagnosed by a number of so-called "professionals" A part of me says that this mother did this only for the benefits related to this diagnosis. If the child has to be medicated, then the child is considered disabled and the parent(s) can receive cash benefits through Social Security. And many single mothers will push for this even if the child doesn't really need it because hey, free money smh I also strongly believe this has to do with the feminization of boys, as they are the ones most likely to be diagnosed with ADHD and placed on medication. I saw this myself with my own son. He has always had other developmental issues, but when he started school (early as part of his therapy), I had a course of several teachers from the time he was 3 until about 7 state that he could benefit from medication so that he was able to focus. After having several discipline issues, I took my son to his primary care physician to see if he thought he had ADHD. The "test" came down to a questionnaire with very general yes or no questions about his behavior. This was the ONLY THING USED. He was diagnosed with ADHD and given a perscription for Adderall. This only worked for his hyperactivity temporarily at the first dose, to which the doctor said to up his dose....after going from 5mg to 30mg in the course of a month and a half I began to worry about what it could be doing to him. Not to mention that even though it wasn't effective, my son was eager to take his medication, even reminding me at times. (Still weirds me out to this day that a 7 year old was taking a pill without one issue). The doctor at this time decides to change him over to Focalin. I only kept my son on this new medication a week, as a very disturbing incident happened. I passed my son's room and he was hanging out of his window. This has always been a no-no in my house, so I say calmly to the boy "You know you're not supposed to be in that window, now don't you?" His response was to bust out bawling. No threats made, not even a voice raised, but here he is with all types of tears. I said that would be the last pill he took. Here we are 7 years later; and while my sons does deal with focus issues, he is a B average high school student, and I've kept true to my word. Not one more pill has he taken. Have I seen children that these types of medicine seem to help? Yes. But I truly believe that if there is any way you can avoid your child having to be medicated for ADHD especially your boys, find it.
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
1 Mar 16
You and I are so on the same page about this. While I too realize that there are children who truly need medical assistance with this problem I don't think popping pills should be the first choice. When the school wanted to put my son on medication because he had a learning disability, (he was dyslexic), I disagreed and refused. Another child the same age as my son was put on the medication. I knew his mother and her son's symptoms were similar to mine. It is sad to know that her son did not benefit from the medication but got more and more out of control and eventually went to prison for murder. I was blessed that I was able to find teachers that were able to help my son overcome his difficulty with reading and he is doing quite well now as a mechanic who is highly sought after. I really think the government ought to be more strict about the medicating of our children. After all they make it their business to limit the amount of pain medication that people with chronic pain and that are elderly are allowed to have.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Mar 16
@savak03 Yes yes I live right in the thick of it! I believe the women are being controlled through food more than medicine though, because look at the size of them too! But all of these things end in one result, broken families, people that are more broken apart than ever....fearful and ready for whatever leadership they can find....smh
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (12967)
26 Oct 15
My son has ADHD and is medicated during the day. Since he was medicated his learning has improved, where as before medication he was unable to concentrate. I have six children, my son who has ADHD is the youngest, the pupil referral school that he has been going to for about six years teach in smaller class sizes. I am a strict, but fair parent. The school teachers are saying that they are sure that he also has Autism. He was diagnosed at six years old, by a mental health specialist, not a person that just writes pills out for the sake of it. He has never slept from the age of two years old and still is not a great sleeper now, he has to have melatonin to help him sleep, as he do not manage to have the ability to produce melatonin like most people do to help to sleep. In my opinion there are a lot of parents out there that tend to not correct children, but also there are a lot of children that may need help, extra guidance and some that require medication. As far as schools go, they are to quick to judge a child, exclude a child of any age.
2 people like this
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
28 Oct 15
I am sorry you have this problem and I agree that it is a very real problem. Sometimes steps have to be taken and medication is sometimes needed. I have no quarrel with those who legitimately need medication for any reason. My quarrel is with a system that would rather medicate a behavior problem than deal with and correct it. Thank you for showing that there are two sides to every discussion. That is something we all must remember.
1 person likes this
@Jlyn10 (11966)
• Malaysia
17 Oct 15
If he has done well in the test, that means that he has been paying attention all the time even though he can't or will not sit down quietly and listen to what is being taught. Kids ... you can't make them sit quietly for a very long time. They just want to play and have fun. That doesn't make them hyperactive.
2 people like this
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
20 Oct 15
That was my point. If he could do so well on his test he must have been learning and isn't that the reason we send them to school?
1 person likes this
@Jlyn10 (11966)
• Malaysia
21 Oct 15
@savak03 I think kids listen to adults all the time, they just pretend not to but they do.
2 people like this
@akalinus (40396)
• United States
28 Feb 16
I was a parent rep, for nine years, on the Committee for the Handicapped/Special Ed at my child's school. I learned a lot listening to discussions about various children as to their education plans and problems. There are other things that go along with ADHD. It is common for the child to have ears that get really red, have allergies that are severe, react in strange ways and other things that go along with ADHD. It is almost like a syndrome. Sometimes, the problem is a lack of parenting but not always. child, ADHD, other problems
1 person likes this
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
1 Mar 16
I wasn't aware of these other symptoms. I appreciate the information. Being informed of this goes a long way to being understanding.
1 person likes this