Steam Room Shenanigans

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After a swim or gym session I like to relax and get a bit of soothing heat into my tired muscles by spending a bit of time in the sauna. Last night, the sauna was occupied by one of the gym regulars who I tend to try and avoid. This guy is a conspiracy theorist, swivel-eyed loon who blames the entirety of the world’s ills on a complex plot instigated by Zionists (don’t ask!!!!). Consequently I decided to use the steam room instead. Now I’m not too keen on the steam room. Operating at about 45 degrees Celsius, with high humidity levels, it’s reminiscent of a tropical jungle and a breeding ground for all sorts of germs, but needs must!! The steam room operates cyclically. It belts out steam for a while, to such an extent that you can’t actually see if anyone is sitting at the opposite end, and then it eases off a bit and slowly but surely, as the steam dissipates, the previously unseen person who has been quietly sitting, listening nervously to your heartfelt rendition of Tiffany’s “I Think We’re Alone Now”, appears before your eyes! This whole jungle, now you see me now you don’t, atmosphere gave me a cracking idea for a practical joke. It would be brilliant to sneak into the empty, very steamy steam room dressed in full Rambo outfit. Bandana, bullet belts, guns, huge knife, blood smeared across the face, the whole nine yards. You could then sit quietly and unseen in the corner, while other people entered, only to be slowly and menacingly revealed to the other occupants as the steam diminished. It was damned funny but, with hindsight, not worth the ban!!! However, in my defence, people with heart conditions really shouldn’t be in there anyway!!!