Sometimes, is it best to say Nothing?
@pgiblett (6524)
Canada
January 22, 2016 9:21am CST
MyLot is here with the intent that people discuss topics raised. I am amazed how little people engage with others and pick up the topic in question. Further what is the point of raising a discussion if you subsequently fail to respond to those that engage you. If discussion means so much why aren't people discussing things?
I was discussing politeness with a MyLot contributor who was amazed by how many nastily worded posts, responses and comments seem to be made these days. Truth is that it is not only on MyLot but turn on the TV and there is someone out there bad mouthing someone else.
We therefore seem halfway between saying nothing at all or biting people's heads off. Why cant people simply discuss things in a calm a rational way and make a conversation happen?
43 people like this
38 responses
@jaboUK (64361)
• United Kingdom
22 Jan 16
I think the type of thing you are talking about is rare on here, I certainly have come across very little of it.
Most discussions I have seen do discuss things reasonably. Of course there is the odd exception, but that's what they are - the exception.
8 people like this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
22 Jan 16
I agree that there is not much on here. There was in the past but compared to then there is nothing now.
6 people like this
@pgiblett (6524)
• Canada
22 Jan 16
@jaboUK I have found enough of it to give me cause for concern, but that said people like @mysdianait, @LadyDuck, @RichardMeister, @AbbyGreenhill, @vandana7 and others who have commented here are all friendly and willing to discuss things. Sadly there are a small minority who live by snide remarks and are not prepared to let things go. Yes it is a small minority.
7 people like this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
22 Jan 16
I just accept that some people DO know it all about some things. Well, they certainly know more than me on many occasios.
5 people like this
@vandana7 (98823)
• India
22 Jan 16
@mysdianait ..yeah me too..I know very little so I am willing to accept whatever others say as right...I am here for fun...
5 people like this
@pgiblett (6524)
• Canada
22 Jan 16
@Marcyaz It is true that certain people are very knowledgeable about certain things, but no-one knows it all, I am sorry @mysdianait there are some people that know a lot, but none know it all, it is important they give up such attitudes, they can be quite dangerous.
4 people like this
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
22 Jan 16
I wish I had the answer to that Peter.
There is so much trolling online that one has to sort through those nasty comments before being able to have a civilized discussion.
It boils down to manners in my mind. Give and take and be respectful, things that often elude online.
6 people like this
@pgiblett (6524)
• Canada
22 Jan 16
Manners is vitally important. We have all heard the saying that if you have nothing good to say it is best to say nothing. I am not saying this is always the case because it is necessary to argue against some ideas but it is my belief that you can still oppose someone's ideas and remain civil doing it.
7 people like this
@pgiblett (6524)
• Canada
22 Jan 16
@LadyDuck On the whole you are correct, but every once in a while a rift opens up and at that time people seem to forget all common decency. Yes @vandana7, in part it could be a cultural thing, but in most parts of the world (and I bear witness to this having travelled to every continent) common decency says you should be kinder to the more distant stranger.
6 people like this
@AbbyGreenhill (45496)
• United States
22 Jan 16
I try to avoid the loud and nasty ones and sometimes they are removed before the word is spread about them.
You can lead a person to a discussion but you can't make them comment.
5 people like this
@AbbyGreenhill (45496)
• United States
22 Jan 16
@pgiblett That's a horse of a different color. If you have the need to stand up for something you believe in that's different.
4 people like this
@whiteream (8567)
• United States
22 Jan 16
@AbbyGreenhill It can still be done in a calm decent way I believe.
3 people like this
@BethieAnnie (818)
• Dayton, Ohio
22 Jan 16
I wish I knew the answer to that question. A dark cloud of negativity seems to be over so many peoples heads. I wonder if this is the result of society moving away from family driven, and closer to self driven. On both MyLot an in the world, I do find myself saying nothing. Or saying something, just to realize I should have said nothing at all. Then in other situations, I realize I should have said something. I guess each of us must learn to tell the difference between those situations.
5 people like this
@pgiblett (6524)
• Canada
22 Jan 16
@BethieAnnie It is not the learning it that matters quite as much as the wisdom of deciding the most appropriate response that matters most.
1 person likes this
@BethieAnnie (818)
• Dayton, Ohio
22 Jan 16
@pgiblett I figure that I am learning that as i age. I seem to know the difference now better than I did ten years ago. I just hope others of my generation are still keen to learn and grow.
2 people like this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
22 Jan 16
Sadly so many people these days, online and off, don't realise that their opinion is just that, an opinion, and that others have one of their own which might not be the same as theirs.
I think it boils down to respect, which is lacking everywhere sadly.
Like others who have responded here, I have yet to encounter nasty stuff on here. Maybe I have a sixth sense which allows me to skip it 
5 people like this
@pgiblett (6524)
• Canada
22 Jan 16
I agree an opinion is just an opinion and for each opinion there can be any number of alternatives. Which is right? It could be many or none, but some people get wrapped up in their own righteousness. I think you have a sixth sense and skip those things.
3 people like this
@pgiblett (6524)
• Canada
23 Jan 16
@meltean59 Fact, like truth are complex concepts. Often there are two scientists that will disagree on specific 'facts'.
1 person likes this
@meltean59 (182)
• Temple, Texas
23 Jan 16
Truth is, who makes the final decision on what is fact or just some one's opinion?
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98823)
• India
22 Jan 16
Honestly, I think the speed at which we live pressurizes us, and we succumb - unwittingly. We now do many things so fast, so we feel we should be reacting to others also at the same or nearly the same pace. We forget the difference between human beings and computers.
5 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
22 Jan 16
People should be able to have a discussion without things getting out of hand. We are all adults.
5 people like this
@garymarsh6 (23393)
• United Kingdom
22 Jan 16
Absolutely however if you have nothing nice to say keep quiet and move on! There is no need for anyone to be nasty on here or anywhere. I have heard that there have been some nasty comments on posts but have yet to see them myself. We are all here to enjoy ourselves hopefully and have fun!
4 people like this
@garymarsh6 (23393)
• United Kingdom
22 Jan 16
@pgiblett avoid those who are nasty then Peter. There is absolutely no need for it. I have made some lovely friends on here and I am sure you have done too!
3 people like this
@Bluedoll (16774)
• Canada
24 Jan 16
@pgiblett I had an interesting discussion a long time ago on disrespect. It was on a forum where the owner had strong opinions on religious issues. I didn't agree with him but did understand his reasoning. Why do we need to always respect everything if it goes against our belief?
First consider extremes. Hitler, dictators, extremists and then filter it down to lesser things. However many people today just dis others for the fun of it.
1 person likes this
@pgiblett (6524)
• Canada
24 Jan 16
@Bluedoll Diss'ing other for the fun of it is abhorrent but a lot of people seem to do just that today. Religious or cultural differences are the areas where people make serious errors - they do not wish to offend but someone takes something out of context and offense occurs. Tyrannical regimes is of course another question (and I fear our neighbours may be heading there).
1 person likes this
@GreatMartin (23677)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
23 Jan 16
I was sort of just made a fool of--I believed a topic someone brought up about her spouse had left her and their kids to find himself--seems none of it was true and I found that out by accident--that doesn't really want me to have discussions with anyone.
I am not suspicious by nature and I trust people but something like that sours me.
3 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (48929)
• United States
22 Jan 16
I don't care to make waves, so I try to be as nice as I can
2 people like this
@CookieMonster46 (13447)
• United States
23 Jan 16
Sometimes I think things sound harsher when reading it, but yes sometimes people just mean.
I try and avoid those...
2 people like this
@Morleyhunt (21737)
• Canada
23 Jan 16
Rabbit trails, squirrel, we start on topic, but much like a conversation it can minder around, squirrel,.
Wasn't that distracting. I read the discussion and try to add to it. Often a response can lead the discussion in another direction.
2 people like this
@whiteream (8567)
• United States
22 Jan 16
I like think that most people do like to talk in a calm matter. It's only a few that will go out of there way to harm others. Or just say nothing.
2 people like this
