I Don't Get Some Parents
By DW Davis
@DWDavis (25812)
Pikeville, North Carolina
March 3, 2016 7:49pm CST
If you were a Mom or a Dad and your daughter's teachers had called you, e-mailed you, sent notes home to you, made every attempt to let you know that your daughter was in danger of failing her grade, and had repeatedly been warned about dress code violations, would you continue to schedule and then fail to show up for conferences?
If the Assistant Principal then called you and informed you of the situation your daughter was in and told you that she would be suspended from school until you showed up for a conference, and then agreed to let her continue to come to school when you promised to show up for a conference two days later, would you show up for the conference?
One of my students is in this situation. We have been calling, e-mailing, and sending notes home requesting they contact us for months. They've never called, responded twice to e-mails, and responded to exactly zero notes. We were able to schedule one conference last fall, which the parents did not show up for, and when we tried to call to reschedule, they wouldn't answer the phone and their voice mail boxes were full and we couldn't leave messages.
On Monday, our Assistant Principal finally got a hold of the father at work and elicited a promise that he and his wife would show up this morning. In return, the girl wasn't suspended. We were all set for the meeting. We had all our documentation ready. The only thing we didn't have was the parents. They never showed up. They never called. They never e-mailed. And when we tried to call them, their voice mail boxes were still full and they wouldn't answer their phones.
Now the girl has been suspended until her parents come in to the school for a conference. It makes me deeply sad that it had come to this.
Politicians like to blame teachers for the problems in the schools. No one ever speaks of the responsibility of the parents in their own child's education. Tell me if you can, which of us is responsible for this girl's sad circumstances, the teachers who have done everything within our power to help her succeed and have made every effort to get her parents involved, or the parents who have abdicated their responsibility when it comes to her education?
28 people like this
31 responses
@JamesHxstatic (29256)
• Eugene, Oregon
4 Mar 16
That is deplorable parenting. Perhaps the child welfare dept should be called?
5 people like this
@DWDavis (25812)
• Pikeville, North Carolina
4 Mar 16
We have gotten the school social worker involved now as the child has surpassed 20 unexcused absences. That alone could result in her being retained, though I doubt it will. Retaining her won't do any good and since she already looks full grown (she is tall and heavy) it would not be good to keep her in the seventh grade when she looks to be pushing her late twenties.
2 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29256)
• Eugene, Oregon
4 Mar 16
@lexiconlover Fortunately, that is not true in all states.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157648)
• United States
4 Mar 16
How can this girl ever build values about education and her own appearance.I do not know that suspension is the answer either. Too bad parents cannot be held truant.
4 people like this
@DWDavis (25812)
• Pikeville, North Carolina
4 Mar 16
It breaks my heart when we have to suspend a student to get the parents' attention but that is what we sometimes have to do. The really sad thing is that we rarely see any change in the student for more than a few days afterward, but we have to document that we've done everything within our power to help the student succeed if the parents kick up a fuss at year end and the student fails their grade.
2 people like this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
4 Mar 16
It worries me that they seem to be unreachable via phone. Was the phone call that reached the father's ears made to his place of employment or to his cellphone?
Does he not worry over his daughter's future with the way her education is going now? Does the mother not care?
I also wonder if perhaps the emails aren't getting to the parents at all, does the daughter maybe know their passwords I wonder?
It's very sad that it had to come to suspension.
3 people like this
@DWDavis (25812)
• Pikeville, North Carolina
4 Mar 16
The AP had to call his place of employment and explain to the person who answered the phone why it was important that he speak to the father.
I don't think they care much except when it inconveniences them to have to come out to the school to discuss things with us.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
4 Mar 16
@DWDavis It is truly sad as the child will be lead by example. If the parents do not care neither will the child and it won't just stop at school. Will there be legal cause for informing child services? I don't know much about what can be done in regards to this by NC schools.
3 people like this
@DWDavis (25812)
• Pikeville, North Carolina
4 Mar 16
@ScribbledAdNauseum We've copied the school social worker in on the situation and she's actively looking into it. It will be her decision now as to whether child services becomes involved.
1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (79918)
• United States
4 Mar 16
I can't believe that the parents have ignored all the requests & continue to fail to respond. I wonder if they will appear now that their daughter is suspended
4 people like this
@andriaperry (116860)
• Anniston, Alabama
4 Mar 16
Its sad. She is probably following the example she gets at home.
3 people like this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
4 Mar 16
I don't understand the parnets thinking at all. They have had several opportunities to address the issures with their daughter but haven't, and so the fault lies with them. They don't really seem like they care, becasue if they did, they woud have made sure they showed up for the scheduled conferences. It appears, that the parnets don't care about their daughter or her education. That is so very sad too.
3 people like this
@purplealabaster (22094)
• United States
4 Mar 16
It is so sad and frustrating to read something like this. People do not want to take responsibility these days, and it aggravates me. Yes, the parents are responsible. The teachers, school and child are also responsible, but ultimately, it has to be the parents making the effort and the decisions, especially if there is a problem.
3 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (49090)
• United States
4 Mar 16
That is unbelievable, very sad situation.
3 people like this
@JohnRoberts (109857)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Mar 16
It is a sad reflection of the continuing breakdown today's society. I have observed parents behaving as you described. We have people having kids but treat them as accessories and are too busy doing their own thing to be parenting. I have witnessed helpless falling into bad habits and falling behind due to parents overindulging and spoiling in the wrong areas and not disciplining and paying attention in crucial areas.
3 people like this
@teamfreak16 (43421)
• Denver, Colorado
4 Mar 16
I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir here, but parents these days are something else.
3 people like this
@htdragonflies (71)
• Gainesville, Texas
4 Mar 16
My husband is a teacher as well, though at a private boarding school and parents are always blaming the school saying their perfect angels are not doing such and such.
3 people like this
@DWDavis (25812)
• Pikeville, North Carolina
4 Mar 16
We hear plenty of that, too. One parent, when shown a video of her son engaging in vandalism, and the boy had confessed, insisted that it was not her son on the tape because her "boy don't be doing that kind of thing. He be a good boy."
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (170313)
• United States
4 Mar 16
Uncaring parents are what cause a variety of social ills I think. Of course, they themselves were never parented properly, and pass this dysfunction on to their children. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink!
3 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (36486)
• Toccoa, Georgia
4 Mar 16
Those parents are hopeless! They don't deserve to even be the girl's parents! The whole purpose of bearing a child or adopting a child is to give of ourselves in the best of our ability to make sure the child grows up to be a responsible adult. It sickens me to think what the girl is going through.
2 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (36486)
• Toccoa, Georgia
5 Mar 16
@DWDavis That is why they should have never had kids.
1 person likes this
@just4him (306829)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
4 Mar 16
That is a sad and troubling situation. It looks like the girl will eventually drop out and the parents won't care one way or the other. Someone, preferably the parents, but someone needs to show that girl they care about her. It's the only way she will not fail in life. Right now she's set up to fail big time because the people who should care don't.
2 people like this
@Dena91 (15907)
• United States
4 Mar 16
It's a sad day in which we live when parents could care less about their child's education. Makes me wonder what this poor girl faces daily at home if they care so little about her education. Prayers for her and you in knowing what is the proper way to handle this situation. Have a blessed day
2 people like this
@azrapa (63)
• Ireland
4 Mar 16
Either the parents are extremely busy with their work or they really don't care about it at all. There's a possibility of it just them being indifferent to the situation because of the always full voicemail. If they were busy with work, and had to take calls regarding their job they'd be organising their voicemails.
Anyway, maybe the student is failing with her studies because of her parents doing things like this. If they are like this when talked to by an authority, a fellow professional in the school, then do you think they are even paying attention to their child at home?
2 people like this
@DWDavis (25812)
• Pikeville, North Carolina
4 Mar 16
We know the mother works second shift and the father an odd shift so mom is never home and awake when the girl is and dad is only home a few minutes a day with the girl. She tells us she has to get herself up and ready for school in the morning because both her parents are asleep.
1 person likes this
@harshil60 (14)
• Paducah, Kentucky
4 Mar 16
Yeah i Know right
Some parents just weird.
3 people like this
