What's the best way to help an ADD adult? (with a picture of the vortex)
By The Horse
@TheHorse (238428)
Walnut Creek, California
March 29, 2016 12:41pm CST
I work with someone who has adult Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). It like childhood ADHD, but without the hyperactivity component. He can only think about one thing for a few seconds, and he lets lost in a digression.
Fortunately I don't have to work with him every day. I refinish loudspeakers for him, and he sells them for a living. Unfortunately, I'll often refinish something for him, and it will be put aside by him as another project comes along.
Here's a picture of what I call "the vortex." It's his shop. Some of the speakers in there (and in storage) were refinished by me more than a year ago, and still haven't been sold. I do his Craigslist listings for him, and in that way, some things get sold.
But many of these items should be on eBay or Audiogon. And many will sit there for yet another year unless I "remind" him constantly until they finally get listed.
Have you ever had to work with an adult with ADD? How did you survive without becoming frustrated?
21 people like this
18 responses
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
29 Mar 16
I have children with ADD. My sons were medicated in their youth, something I wish I never agreed to. My youngest daughter is a phenom when it comes to cleaning. She is also great at organizing, but this could also be due to her having OCD as well.
All of them are collectors, as is their mother...yes I love things.
Each has a passion that they are really good at, each has something that they need to work on.
I just breathe and let it all roll off me like rain off a duck's behind.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (238428)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Mar 16
@suzzy3 I am a nice person. But I am not totally selfless. If I were not occasionally compensated with speakers that I can turn into money, or something worth keeping, I could not allow the relationship to continue. Both my DCM Time Windows and Marantz Imperial 6s (two of my reference speakers) came from his shop as partial compensation for work I did for him.
@allknowing (153529)
• India
30 Mar 16
He needs treatment on an ongoing basis. Have you tried to find out if he has a doctor who treats him?
1 person likes this
@allknowing (153529)
• India
30 Mar 16
@TheHorse Since you are the reaching out type may be you could find out more - just saying.
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@TheHorse (238428)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Mar 16
@allknowing I don't want to get too involved with that aspect of his life. He has a therapist, and I don't want to move beyond the boundaries I've set at this time.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16568)
• Ireland
30 Mar 16
I am fortunate enough to not experienced that, must be difficult
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@Drosophila (16568)
• Ireland
30 Mar 16
@TheHorse yep, I guess this would be the sensible option. if not the only option.
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@TheHorse (238428)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Mar 16
@Drosophila The other option would be to abandon the relationship entirely, but I didn't want to do that.
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (43711)
• Denver, Colorado
29 Mar 16
My girlfriend has it. Very hard to follow her because she bounces around so much.
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@TheHorse (238428)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Mar 16
@teamfreak16 How do you manage the bi-polar? On bi-polar musician friend told me he felt "blah" and less creative when he was taking his meds properly.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238428)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Mar 16
I don't mind a high energy level. But I'd struggle if my girlfriend couldn't focus on a conversation. Even the little ADHD kids I work with can have a good conversation. Sometimes I think the ADHD diagnosis is overused, especially with boys.
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (43711)
• Denver, Colorado
30 Mar 16
@TheHorse - I figure it's part of being with her, so I try the best I can.
You probably know that ADD and Bipolar are often misdiagnosed as each other. I'm a Bipolar, but ADD has been suggested more than once.
1 person likes this
@CaptAlbertWhisker (32760)
• Calgary, Alberta
29 Mar 16
I have ADD with aspergers, Yup I am still hyperactive, I am walking infinitely if no one is looking around. I also have personality that bounces off the walls.
1 person likes this
@arthurchappell (44941)
• Preston, England
29 Mar 16
it must be a really difficult challenge for you - hope the speakers sell soon - never had to look after anyone with ADD myself
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
29 Mar 16
most of those people can focus on something, have you found something he does focus well on?
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@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
30 Mar 16
@TheHorse it's much harder later in life to try and find ways to channel that energy
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
29 Mar 16
one'f my son suffers from this malady. 'tis near maddenin' i fear 'n there seems to be no logical solution.
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
30 Mar 16
@TheHorse i've learnt to deal with such, the hubs not so much :( jest try to put'cherself'n that fella's boots fer a bit - 'tis a most maddenin' thingy to endure day'n 'n day out.
@blitzfrick (2890)
• United States
29 Mar 16
I know only what I saw on a documentary. Here's a link to the trailer. Hopefully, there might be some info here you can use.
And a website: totallyadd.com
Good luck!
ADD & Loving It?! is a ground-breaking blend of humour, hope, and science that dispels the myths about a controversial disorder -- Adult Attention Deficit Hy...
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (21741)
• Canada
29 Mar 16
I've never dealt with an adult who is confirmed to have ADD, but have dealt with some who probably have undiagnosed ADD. Their I ability to accomplish anything, or to finish what they start drive me nuts...I probably hav a bad case of OCD.
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (20363)
• Fairfield, Texas
30 Mar 16
That would be tough @TheHorse . Is it possible to give him a 'short' list of things to be done? 2 or 3 things; and he would have to cross them off when completed.
@JudyEv (382829)
• Rockingham, Australia
4 Apr 16
He must find it hard to cope surely if he keeps getting distracted so often.
@fishtiger58 (29819)
• Momence, Illinois
30 Mar 16
I have never dealt with someone with ADD at least not that I'm aware of. Why do you feel the need to remind him to sell his stuff. It sounds like a frustrating relationship you have with him, according to some of your other comments. You have to ask yourself if it's all worth it.
