My Parents Are Too Conservative
By YoghurtGal
@flapiz (22427)
United Kingdom
April 3, 2016 9:37am CST
I went swimming with my friend today. And she had a GoPro with her so we took a lot of pictures in our bikini. Honestly, I loved the photos I look so happy and confident with my body in it.
No I don't look like a porn star or anywhere near seductive. For me it was quite wholesome. And I'm happy to inspire people I know to be fit and to work hard for the body they want. I used to be a chubby girl you see. I like empowering people by showing them I can change.
My parents were not happy that I posted my photos on social media. I personally didn't think they should be. I was in a swimming pool and of course wearing a bikini in a pool is normal I suppose. I don't like their over conservative thinking. I think most Filipino families are like that that's why people and children grow up to be uncomfortable and ashamed of their bodies.
What are views about this. Above is my picture. Is it really too much to post?
17 people like this
17 responses
@flapiz (22427)
• United Kingdom
3 Apr 16
I know they meant it for my best interest but they should know that it's normal what I'm doing. Other people posts pictures of their moments at the beach and at the pool side in a bikini and aren't scorned for it. As long as the intent is not to be lewd.
I think my picture was perfectly wholesome and it shows in my facial expression. I didn't see it as offensive and I refuse to remove it to conform to cultural standards.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
3 Apr 16
To me this is a normal photo, nothing provocative about it. It is normal healthy swimming with a young woman having fun. But in conservative thinking, maybe it is something your parents worry about. Not to discount their worry, but it is harmless in my mind.
I love your joyous face having fun and I LOVE swimming
2 people like this
@flapiz (22427)
• United Kingdom
3 Apr 16
Actually they worry about what the elder people would think. And I'm like, it's on Facebook and there's not much elderly back home who is on Facebook. And my photo is quite conservative for a bikini. Plus yes my face wasn't being provocative cause I never am. I was just enjoying the moment and I loved how the photo turned out.
They raised me they should know that I'm a wholesome person. And I'm an adult I'm capable of making my own decisions and standing up for it.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
3 Apr 16
@flapiz Yes they should realize it is a big world and elders also on Facebook now..it will be okay my friend..I hope they will not worry so.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (22427)
• United Kingdom
3 Apr 16
@TiarasOceanView Well they are worried about what other people may think. But I've been on Facebook for years before they even had theirs and frankly the Facebook population is quite open minded. Sometimes even too much. I think I really need to have a talk with them.
It's a big big world and I don't want to live in an ouster shell.
1 person likes this
@BACONSTRIPSXXX (14351)
• West Haven, Connecticut
4 Apr 16
Nice Pic and its sad that such an innocent picture would upset them. Some parents are stuck in old ways with old mentalities. Im happy you feel free and can express yourself despite their conservative concepts
2 people like this
@flapiz (22427)
• United Kingdom
4 Apr 16
I definitely agree on you on this one. My parents are indeed stuck In the old ways. Specially my dad. I remember when I was younger I wasn't allowed to wear shorts that aren't knee length.
@Dextoi (1845)
• Philippines
7 Apr 16
Nothing wrong with it, really.
It's normal to wear those when you want to swim as they are lighter and won't pose a problem as you swim. Having too much clothes when you swim gives you trouble trying to float. It's dangerous. That's why, in swimming pools, people are advised to wear proper swimming attire.
1 person likes this
@mypointsju (583)
• Westland, Michigan
3 Apr 16
I dont think the picture is over the top, but the bigger concern is you should respect your parents. This is just my 2 cents but I think if you show respect to your parents and you talk with them to explain your side, in time maybe they will give you more respect to do other things.
Maybe it is cultural and is something that is related to a filpino family.
For me personally, I grew up in a semi-strict home (for my wife it was the opposite) and in time that I showed my parents respect and I could handle things, they let me do more.
2 people like this
@flapiz (22427)
• United Kingdom
3 Apr 16
I have very high respects for my parents and I am forever grateful for the things they have done for me. We had this talk before about me wearing a bikini or a midrif top. I told them, "mom, dad I am wearing a bikini on a beach and it's appropriate outfit. If I was wearing it in my room that would be a different story." They agreed with me and now they're bringing up this topic again. Other Filipino girls are wearing their bikinis on Facebook these days as well but I guess my parents are still stuck in the conservative era.
I just wish I could tell them that it took courage and confidence for me to be able to wear a bikini. I was shy and timid before and ashamed of my body and being overseas taught me that there's nothing to be ashamed of. I've always been vocal to them in saying that, "it's not what a person wears, but how she or he acts that defines them." I think we should talk again.
@flapiz (22427)
• United Kingdom
3 Apr 16
@mypointsju I think I'd actually like to say to them the last part, "I'd like for them to allow me to grow as an adult". I will be copying that line.
@mypointsju (583)
• Westland, Michigan
3 Apr 16
@flapiz OK, just my 2 cents again, lol. What if you said "mom, dad, I know you may not like this, but I would like to wear this bikini to the beach" (this better than saying I am wearing this to the beach, which means you are not asking but telling). When they respond with "no", you put it back on them and say "Can you explain why"? When they do, you say something like "I understand your concerns, but there must be a time for you to allow me to grow into an adult". They still may say no, but if you go with this approach for this and other areas, they will start allowing you to do other things.
1 person likes this
@scheng1 (24650)
• Singapore
5 Apr 16
You have a healthy view of your own body.
It is good to be young, strong and healthy.
Your parents belong to another generation, and they are not well-traveled enough to see how the rest of the world behave.
If they go to the nuke beach in Europe, they will be the laughing stock.
When everyone is nuke, those who wear anything at all will be the focus of attention.
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (45651)
• Philippines
4 Apr 16
love the contrast of colors. maybe they prefer a one-piece?
1 person likes this
@flapiz (22427)
• United Kingdom
5 Apr 16
@hereandthere Maybe a monokini won't make me too fat. For colour I'm sure it should be black.
@hereandthere (45651)
• Philippines
5 Apr 16
@flapiz it depends on the color and the design. but i agree, you look happy and confident
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (36594)
• Toccoa, Georgia
8 Apr 16
You look fine in the photo. I think your parents are concerned that some weird guy could try to seek you out. They are just concerned about your safety.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (22427)
• United Kingdom
14 May 16
This is exactly what I argued about with my parents and I even reasoned out that I'm wearing it in the right setting. I think they finally yielded with the argument. I have always been a good child to them. They should know I won't do anything that would ruin my reputation.
@acelawrites (19273)
• Philippines
3 Apr 16
My guess was right, upon looking at your picture: that you are a Filipina. We Filipinos are conservative in some ways, or parents are so protective of their children because we fear that some scammers/ill-minded persons can use that photo for some wicked ends if you post so much in social media sites.
1 person likes this
@acelawrites (19273)
• Philippines
4 Apr 16
@flapiz I don't mean that particular picture of you in the pools. yes, it is decent. I mean photos were some young people show too much skin.
@meltzlotz (34)
• India
27 Apr 16
I guess your parents would brought up in a way that posting these kinda photos were shame. It won't matter when you become a parent. Though, nothing wrong with photo. You have to think about backfires such as morphing, before posting this kinda photo. :) Hope, you had nice time in pool ;)
1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (94921)
• United States
28 Apr 16
You look fine! You're not revealing too much at all and it suits as you're in the pool 
@Skrysekh (88)
•
28 Apr 16
You have the right amount of clothes for pool. If something is wrong it's your parents not the photo. They should be proud you didn't wear only 2 strings (like most girls at pool) whenever you have to confront your parents about your clothing don't tell them that other people dress the same, tell them how it could be worse.
