Can I Ask a Personal Question?
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
United States
May 30, 2016 8:24am CST
Yesterday while at client's house I was finishing up the housework while she drank her coffee. She is a little deaf, wears hearing aids, and talks on the loud side. Well she shouted out a question and it gave me and it startled me a little because I was near her when she shouted it out. LOL.
She wanted to ask me a personal question. Told me I didn't have to answer her if I didn't want to. Now my mind was racing wondering what the question would be. My weight? My hair color? What? Well, she wanted to know where I purchase my bras. I wore a tank top the previous day and my bra strap showed. Ooops. Bra straps happen. I told her the brand name and where I purchased it.
This personal question was mild in comparison to other personal questions I have been asked. Some would be considered sexual harassment. I know the difference and have actually left a residence because of the comments.
Where do you draw the line?
73 people like this
64 responses
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
30 May 16
I offered her the information freely. It was a supportive question and I knew the answer. LOL.
4 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
30 May 16
@akalinus she did say that if I found it too personal she would be okay with me telling her so.
3 people like this
@akalinus (44339)
• United States
30 May 16
@ElusiveButterfly He was probably hoping to start something. It was wise to make it end right there.
7 people like this
@ramapo17 (30441)
• Melbourne, Florida
30 May 16
@ElusiveButterfly That must have been a fun day.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
30 May 16
@akalinus He was a client and was wearing female garments quite a bit. He was discussing with his doctors about transitioning into a woman.
3 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
30 May 16
She just wanted comfortable straps.
3 people like this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
30 May 16
hahaha, bra straps happen! I LOVE that. dratted things seem to do that dont they. When it comes to elders I might answer more questions that I might from say a random person at walmart. It really depends on the question. Or I might simply say I dont remember if I am not comfie answering it
4 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
30 May 16
Yeah that would be a bit weird for a complete stranger to come up and ask where you get your bras. LOL.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (102542)
• India
30 May 16
@ElusiveButterfly .. This did not qualify as personal question. Rather it is her personal question. :)
4 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
30 May 16
@ramapo17 it was a question I would have asked myself. I have asked people where they buy their clothing. Sometimes I'll get into a discussion about undergarments and of course we tell where to get the best ones.
1 person likes this
@ramapo17 (30441)
• Melbourne, Florida
30 May 16
@ElusiveButterfly I think you did the right thing.
3 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
30 May 16
It is a personal question. Not one that usually comes up in daily conversations.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
30 May 16
@Marcyaz I usually only have to threaten to leave just once.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
30 May 16
Yes, I have left a client's house due to some really racy questions or comments. When they don't stop them, I leave.
2 people like this
@Marcyaz (35316)
• United States
30 May 16
@ElusiveButterfly
Best to do if they won't stop asking personal questions.
2 people like this
@allen0187 (58559)
• Philippines
31 May 16
People can fire away with their personal questions I wouldn't mind at all.
Thing is, if they can throw it, they should also be ready to receive some.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
31 May 16
I agree, but when they become questions that someone who doesn't know you personally they are inappropriate. I nip those in the bud.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (58559)
• Philippines
31 May 16
@ElusiveButterfly agree with you as well. In the situation that you gave in your post, I agree that it is indeed a personal question but I see no ill intent from the old lady.
1 person likes this
@ramapo17 (30441)
• Melbourne, Florida
2 Jun 16
@allen0187 You are definitely right. If they can't take it, then they should just leave.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (102542)
• India
30 May 16
I think much of personal is not really personal. Very few things really remain personal so to say. It pretty much depends upon my mood. I can pleasantly answer in a way that the person feels satisfied, and is yet not happy to ask me any more questions in that line. I feel a bit tense when too many things are bogging me down. Then I might just react. But that is rare me. Normally, I can choose what to answer and what not. If something is not palatable, I am capable of saying so, softly as well as harshly.
3 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
30 May 16
I have answered with a firm response and it sometimes nips the comments/conversation in the bud. Other times, I leave.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (102542)
• India
2 Jun 16
@ElusiveButterfly ... Some folks just won't leave ..then we have to leave..I understand your way too and that is also a way to tackle the situation.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61439)
• United States
30 May 16
I wouldn't even consider the question of where I bought my bra a personal question, Bali and Kohls lol
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
30 May 16
She liked the strap on the bra. It was thicker than the flimsy bras that really don't offer a lot of support and also the strap doesn't dig into your shoulder while holding up the heavy load. LOL.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
30 May 16
I draw the line where appropriate. They will also know when they have gone way over that line.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
30 May 16
Heck I even told her the shape of the cup and stitching. LOL.
3 people like this
@HazySue (39265)
• Gouverneur, New York
30 May 16
@ElusiveButterfly I would have answered by telling her where I got it also. I think it wasn't meant to be offensive.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
30 May 16
It wasn't. She is in her 80's and I know back in the day, they wouldn't ask such questions. But, she noticed the strap on my bra and said she was looking for a similar bra and couldn't find it.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
30 May 16
@HazySue I lost my filter quite a while ago, I guess when I turned 50, I am soon to be 59. There have been times when the questions or comments totally ticked me off. Told the client so. Some apologized. Others kept up the banter. I told them I was leaving, they said I couldn't. I put on my coat, grabbed my bag and said "Watch me!"
2 people like this
@HazySue (39265)
• Gouverneur, New York
30 May 16
@ElusiveButterfly I think it sounds like a complimentary question. Also I have noticed the older people get, the less filter they have on their questions. It sounds like you have a good head on your should and know the difference between a sexually offensive question and a plain old remark. As for where I would draw the line... I think it would be when the question makes me really uncomfortable.
2 people like this
@purplealabaster (22085)
• United States
30 May 16
I have had a lot of people ask me personal questions and also tell me personal things about themselves. I think that in general they are not intending to be offensive or take things too far, but I think that I tend to be a person who people feel comfortable around and for some reason they want to open up with me. I will answer personal questions depending upon who is asking and what the question is.
I remember one time when a guy asked a really personal question. I suspect that he was curious and not intending to go too far (I actually think it was his way of flirting), but it was certainly something that I was not going to answer. Instead of directly answering his question, I told him that if he was meant to know the answer, then he would not need to ask the question.
That shut him up pretty fast.
That shut him up pretty fast.1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
30 May 16
Oh that would do the trick. LOL. I too feel like I am a magnet that people are drawn too. A few times I have spoken to a stranger about say something in a grocery store and they end up telling me their life story in a few short minutes. Me, not being a rude person, will listen for a short time. Then I wave my name badge at them and say I am on the clock shopping for a client and they stop abruptly. That badge has rescued me more than a few times.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
2 Jun 16
@purplealabaster even if I don't have my name badge on, I will make up some cokimamy excuse to make an exit. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. LOL. I am not good at lying. My face tells all.
1 person likes this
@purplealabaster (22085)
• United States
2 Jun 16
@ElusiveButterfly At least you have a badge to wave at them and look official and busy. I get the same thing, but normally they just trap me and I have to stand there listening to them. Most of the time I don't mind and actually find it interesting. When I am grumpy or in a hurry, though, then it can be a bit annoying.
At least you have a badge to wave at them and look official and busy. I get the same thing, but normally they just trap me and I have to stand there listening to them. Most of the time I don't mind and actually find it interesting. When I am grumpy or in a hurry, though, then it can be a bit annoying.1 person likes this
@sarameastrong (826)
• Surrey, British Columbia
31 May 16
it's your choice if you answer all their questions or not.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
31 May 16
I only answer the harmless ones.
1 person likes this
@sarameastrong (826)
• Surrey, British Columbia
31 May 16
@ElusiveButterfly .you do the exactly right.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16568)
• Ireland
31 May 16
That's not a biggie, especially a bra is like a bikini, I have been asked before where I got the bikini from, never been an issue.
I don't think I have ever received any personal questions. People are usually either too busy talking about themselves or too scared of me to ask any :)
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
31 May 16
@Drosophila One of my client's asked some pretty personal questions about me and the man who is now my husband. I told him how inappropriate the questions were and if they didn't stop, I would no longer be able to be his aide. He was so apologetic. I knew he was sincere with his apology. He never uttered anything inappropriate after that.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
31 May 16
I try to answer if not too personal. If they go over the line, I walk away.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16568)
• Ireland
31 May 16
@ElusiveButterfly aww, but now that you mentioned it, most people I meet don't seem to ask me questions that's too personal. I also don't answer questions I don't like, I just look at the person and smile. They stop automatically
1 person likes this
@ria1606roy (2797)
• Kolkata, India
1 Jun 16
That is a woman-to-woman question 
but I'm happy you didn't put up with harassing households.
but I'm happy you didn't put up with harassing households.1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
1 Jun 16
I never put up with anyone with a sour mouth.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
30 May 16
Haven't had a man ask where I get my bras. I would find that odd. However, I have had them ask way too personal things.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
30 May 16
@Lucky15 I have helped men buy bras for their wives. They stand there looking at them like they are foreign objects that they have never seen before. LOL.
2 people like this
@Lucky15 (37391)
• Philippines
30 May 16
@ElusiveButterfly if a man asked me about bra..i am fine..but not that one. To think he is a suitor
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
31 May 16
Coming from a lady her age, I was okay with answering the question.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45941)
• United States
1 Jun 16
@trivia79 yeah that would have been awkward.
1 person likes this
@trivia79 (7827)
• El Segundo, California
31 May 16
@ElusiveButterfly fortunately, she didn't asked you a favor to try to fit it haha lol
1 person likes this
