maybe I am going to live forever. lol . 6-11-16
By bonnie
@bunnybon7 (50970)
Holiday, Florida
June 11, 2016 3:32pm CST
since 2005, I have been sick and in pain more days then not. about 99 percent of the time. Before the breast cancer in 2000, I had hardly been sick at all for 50 yrs. of my life.
I felt pretty good even after that till the H-Pylori came along in 2005. Then lost everything having to move in with the daughter I live with now again here in Florida. Since then I had been back living in Az for 7 yrs. with oldest son. when I would say, I felt terrible like I was going to die, the kids began to just ignore that and sometimes would actually say "mom you are going to live forever".
Guess it seems like it to them having me around sick and ailing all this time. Must be why they are all getting tired of passing me around now. Now I get up sometimes or wake at night and think is this the day? Cause we all know, no one lives forever. 
I know, just crazy thoughts. Have ever been sick for so long you wonder if you will ever survive and when you do, you wonder how you are still here?
Is it just me being paranoid because of this? 
Today daughter went off with bf again and I am again alone for how long I don't know. guess I can't expect her to think I won't be okay. I do have my faithful Coco though, even though she would probably like to be with them.
I know, just crazy thoughts. Have ever been sick for so long you wonder if you will ever survive and when you do, you wonder how you are still here?
Is it just me being paranoid because of this?
Today daughter went off with bf again and I am again alone for how long I don't know. guess I can't expect her to think I won't be okay. I do have my faithful Coco though, even though she would probably like to be with them.12 people like this
12 responses
@1hopefulman (45111)
• Canada
11 Jun 16
The potential of living forever is a reality but not at this time. We will have to wait for God to change the situation on the earth.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
13 Jun 16
you really believe that? maybe after the rapture. I don't know.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
13 Jun 16
@1hopefulman I see but I always assumed it meant after the end was straightened out. and in spirit, not flesh. who would want this old flesh forever anyway
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (45111)
• Canada
13 Jun 16
@bunnybon7 That's what the Bible says and God is the author and so I believe Him. Psalm 37:29 New International Version (NIV) 29 The righteous will inherit the land and dwell in it forever.
1 person likes this
. What's H-Pylori?@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Jun 16
it is a digestive infection that does a lot of damage to your system till you take enough, sometimes double antibiotics to get rid of and it didn't help that I was allergic already to some that made me break out with big bumps and swell. yes I have really been around it. but there are people that are worse off I realize. as they say it is what it is and I am afraid I tend to express a lot of my problems here. sorry. no wonder I loose readers. huh?
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Jun 16
@jaboUK always does and probably always will be doing it. hugs, Bon
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
12 Jun 16
@bunnybon7 Feel free to vent your frustrations here Bonnie if it helps you.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
11 Jun 16
You have to think more p;ositive and it could help you to feel better reallyl I have diabetes and U gave learned not to fret the small stuff and a lot of things we stress over are small. stress'ks hard on our hearts so try noit to stress if youjo can. your daughter should be more aware ofhermom
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Jun 16
yes. I had 5 kids and this is how it all ends. I have no siblings myself or anyone either.
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Jun 16
sadly I do more then not. but I keep some how surviving . a few years ago this daughter actually said she would end it rather then be miserable all the time. I really wonder about her at times
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Jun 16
I know dear. you would be a good friend to live next to. thanks
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (502955)
• Italy
13 Jun 16
@bunnybon7 Thank you, I would be pleased to live near you and be of some help.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Jun 16
so sorry. I have a tendency to bring people down I guess with my pain.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
12 Jun 16
Like you, I was very healthy most of my life; was never ill, was quite strong and not a health care in the world. Then my knees went and I also had a hernia. Then I gained a lot of weight very quickly and
I have been in pain ever since. The pain is not only physical but mental and spiritual as well.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
12 Jun 16
@bunnybon7 i know just how you feel my friend.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Jun 16
you are so right. it is like a rock and a hard place and round. they feed on each other. physical , then mental with depression.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (74987)
• United States
16 Jun 16
aww how sad that you have been sick so much since 2005. I think if I were in your shoes I would be worried all the time. I am glad your kids do not worry as much as you do though as maybe it helps slightly to calm you down.
@celticeagle (190074)
• Boise, Idaho
12 Jun 16
Booshwah! You may just live forever. You should try to make some friends and do something other than wonder if your daughter is coming back or not. You wouldn't worry and wonder so much if you had other activities going on.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (190074)
• Boise, Idaho
12 Jun 16
@bunnybon7 .....They are? I guess they would have to be. Have to exercise your arms.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Jun 16
problem being is that unlike before, I now have to not only feel I can walk very far but pull tubing with me to breath. also the portables are a lot heavier then they look.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15745)
• Philippines
16 Jun 16
i am so glad to be back here!! Thanks for informing me :))
I am so happy you have Coco for you but I just hope your kids will spend more time.
And yes when I got sick around 3 years ago, I had pneumonia, I felt like dying hahaha exaggerating perhaps but thats what I felt! but then I lived and making the most out of life.
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
13 Jun 16
thanks. lucky you. with the nice thoughtful daughter. makes me wonder if I was as good a mom as I thought
@DeborahDiane (40852)
• Laguna Woods, California
12 Jun 16
I'm so sorry you have been so sick for so long. I am lucky that I am healthy, but my husband has been sick with kidney disease for the past six years and our kids really don't seem to understand that he doesn't always feel well enough to visit or do things with them.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
13 Jun 16
so sad. that is the problem. people that don't understand and don't try to understand
