A post-humous post by Oscar, a colleague of Hercules

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Good evening. My name is Hercules and I am a sheep. Huckleberry the Kitten and Mildred have intimated that I am welcome to post here. I think there might be another cat or two but their name escapes me at the moment. Before I post about myself though, I thought I would submit some posts an old colleague of mine put up on the BB site some years ago. Poor Oscar was also a sheep but has passed on now. I found him rather crass actually and he obviously found me a bit wanting but I can live with that, especially as I'm still alive and he is dead. I'm having the last laugh, aren't I? Anyway, here is the first part of Oscar's post on living with humans. I'm Oscar, a Merino wether of superior breeding. I now live on eighteen acres with an old wether of inferior breeding. He goes by the name of Hercules but strong he ain't. He is gentle and mannerly. We have a lovely shed with a bull-nose tin roof. Very flash. It is big enough for five or six sheep. However I like a lot of room so when it rains I have the shed and I make Herc stay out in the open. I thought I'd share some tips about how we sheep can get our human masters just where you want them if we just put our mind to it. • Don't be too obliging. It is okay to eat bread but you should set some standards and stick to them. Personally I only eat white bread but I breathe on the other slices 'cause Herc doesn't like anyone to breathe on his bread first. He eats anything – except bread that's been breathed on. • Work on perfecting a few party tricks. I can jump on a big, round bale although the last time I tried it I didn't quite make it. I'd already jumped up twice but the master was so slow taking my photo I had to do it again. Herc laughed at me so I bunted him in the backside. • I can also jump on the trailer when the tail-gate is missing. And I'm not afraid of loud noises so I hang round when the humans are using the chain-saw or the tractor. • Herc has a trick or two. He gets taken up to the house to say hello to a very old lady. He told me she was 100 but I have my doubts. He also pulls a little cart but anyone could do that. I'll share more next time. I need to eat. And that ends the first part of Oscar's saga. His opinions are not necessarily mine.