Am I wrong to have wanted to know a time and how long?
By Sandy KS
@rusty2rusty (6751)
Defiance, Ohio
April 15, 2017 1:51pm CST
Last night my grandson's mother asked through Facebook messenger if I would watch him for a few hours while they went easter shopping for him. I asked what time and how long. As I have some shopping to do myself. The response was after Easter egg hunting and make sure he has a nap.
I really hate not getting an answer from people who want something from me when I have plans of my own. As I don't want to be out when it gets dark just to finish my shopping. I had planned to re-do my front yard flower garden. I can't do that with almost 3 year old running around. Out back, yes, I could. But not out front with the traffic that flies by.
Well, they have been gone almost three hours. How long does Easter shopping take? If they are not here soon. I will put him down for a nap.
I think next time I am going to say no. I don't mind doing things for others. I don't mind watching my grandson. I do mind feeling like I am being taken advantage of when it interferes with what I need to get done.
Am I wrong to have wanted to know a time and how long?
18 people like this
22 responses
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
15 Apr 17
Lol, I could always feed him sugar right before they come back and act like I have no idea where his burst of energy came from.
4 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
15 Apr 17
Your not wrong at all. No one likes being taken advantage of. I have been through that so many times with babysitting. For the first time ever last week I charged one of my clients for 3 hours of care she went over. Their supposed to be Part time but they used Full time hours-I get tired of being taken advantage of too so I charged them for it.
6 people like this
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
15 Apr 17
I don't blame you. Hopefully, they will think twice going over the hours without any notification.
3 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
15 Apr 17
@rusty2rusty Yeah I hope so. They just thought it would be okay and they wouldn't have to pay for it. Not anymore...
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
15 Apr 17
@Trensue Sometimes you have to put your foot down or you will forever be walked on.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Apr 17
My only son seems sbent to stat a'
bachelor so I have no grand kids.. I feel'
for you as just because you are the grandmother does not give them the'
right to not respect you and your own
needs you are right they must give you
a time and respect your life not just use'
you they are being rude and disrespectful,
3 people like this
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
15 Apr 17
Thank you. It bothers me when I have to things off for my kids still at home to do for others all the time.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
15 Apr 17
No you are not wrong. and by the way why couldn't they take the 3 year old, he's not going to notice what is bought and on Easter he would be surprised anyway. Myopinion - they were taking advantage of your kindness...
3 people like this
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
15 Apr 17
That is what I thought! I think they had something else planned.
1 person likes this
@CRK109 (14558)
• United States
15 Apr 17
To me, it would have been common courtesy on her part to have told you those facts ahead of time. Even if you were the kind of person who didn't need the information, it's always nice to know. I guess her life doesn't run on time like that, the way many of us do.
3 people like this
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
15 Apr 17
She seems to be emotional. As she did say it was her time of the month. I think I will give her the benefit of the doubt this time. Lol.
1 person likes this
@CRK109 (14558)
• United States
16 Apr 17
@rusty2rusty And she seems to have no problems sharing! lol
@Courtlynn (66921)
• United States
15 Apr 17
You were definitely not wrong to want to know a time frame. It was not fair to you that they didn't give you one, and aren't hurrying if they know you had plans also.
3 people like this
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
15 Apr 17
Yeah, they made it back. But the grandson mom left to go tan. She came back and they left again. Something about getting the other vehicle, changing and I don't know all what.
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
15 Apr 17
No, you are not wrong. You have a life just as they do and they should not assume that you will drop everything in order to babysit. Demand some respect, you deserve it.
1 person likes this
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
15 Apr 17
Thank you, I think they think I have all the time in the world sometimes. It si like time is a foreign concept to them.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
18 Apr 17
I don't think you are wrong but having said that, you want to keep the visits coming so that you get to see your grandson and so you need to be a little more flexible, this is just my opinion as a mother in law and grandma.
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
15 Apr 17
When I know the time, I can plan things out better.
1 person likes this
@PatZAnthony (14752)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
22 Apr 17
We would not say no, but would one at least a 'kinda, sorta' estimate on the times. It is more than fair you expect them to give you a straight answer.
@OldRoadsOnceTraveled (331)
•
15 Apr 17
It was only right that you should have been given some kind of timeline. Little kids need structured nap, meal, and snack times. With no guidelines, you have no way to plan for those. If they didn't know how long they would be gone, they should have mentioned that so you could be prepared for anything.
1 person likes this
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
15 Apr 17
You hit it right on the nose. I like to plan things out. That way I can be prepared with if he is hungry, needs a nap or whatever.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (129371)
• Israel
21 Jan 18
I understand you. I hate when I do not get answers to things and have to keep writing to ask again.
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
15 Apr 17
You had every right to ask and she should have given you an answer. You should have told her that you had things and needed to be done.
2 people like this
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
15 Apr 17
I did tell her I had things to do. I told her I had to finish getting things for the easter basket. Such as toothbrush, tooth paste and cute wash rags. Things that aren't candy. Plus, I planned to buy a push mower.
1 person likes this
@gnatsmom (2286)
•
14 Dec 17
It is just common courtesy to give you a time frame. I would never say "no" to keeping my grandkids, but if I had to go somewhere, they would just have to let them go with me. However, it is easy for me to say that because I have never been in a position where my kids took advantage of me. Others have with babysitting and I have told them "no". Then they get mad and never let me see the kids again. My kids always give me a time frame. You are not wrong at all in needing the details.
@pumpkinjam (8528)
• United Kingdom
16 Apr 17
You're not wrong at all. That's quite rude of them to just expect you to have him without telling you how long. I have a similar problem but it's a woman for whom I work. I have to make a point (often several times before getting an answer) of asking her exactly what time she'll expect me and exactly what time I'll be finishing otherwise I could turn up and end up being late to pick my son up from school.
People don't always seem to realise that you're doing them a favour and you do have other things to do. Maybe next time you're asked to babysit, tell them you need to know an exact time because you have plans.
Also, I really have no idea how anyone can spend 3 hours shopping, but I hate shopping and my record is 6 minutes!
@GardenGerty (157463)
• United States
17 Apr 17
No, you are not wrong. I would expect to know at least in general. It is impossible to have your own life if people will not set schedules themselves.
@Blondie2222 (28611)
• United States
16 Apr 17
No your not wrong at all. Whenever my sisters ask me to babysit i always ask the time so I can plan my evening or day whichever time i am. And if they are late they will text to let me know. I hope they made it back in time so you could get the things done you needed to as well. I hate being out after dark also as my vision is not good during the night time.
@ramapo17 (30441)
• Melbourne, Florida
17 Apr 17
I always asked when my daughter would be back as I like to know ahead of time how much we can do with the kids. I would hate to get into the middle of something and the parents would walk in and everything would have to stop.
@ncwdianne (87)
•
16 Apr 17
I think that it is a matter of respect for her to let you know an approximate time. Even if you say text me why, if you are running late. Wether she appreciates it or not, is not the point. It is up to you to set the boundaries of what you will do. Saying I can babysit from 1.00 - 3.00 pm. If you are late I will not be in a hurry to help out again. Saying it in a kind but firm voice. My mother in law has told me for a night tIme babysitting, we have to be back by 9.00 pm as she likes to be in bed by then. So my huby and I leave earlier to allow more quality time. If we want to go out to a late nite activity we ask someone else.
