I Let Him Go By Himself

Tweet

Hey there, humanoids. I've always been fairly lenient with my boys, and tried to allow them to be independent. There are, of course, those 'borderline' times when you're not sure if they're quite old enough but you know if you leave it much longer, you'll be accompanying them to their first job! Well, today was one of those days. Mini (my youngest) went into town by himself for the first time. Well, he went to the Arts Centre. I wouldn't let him just go a-wandering into town just yet. Anyway, it's a short walk and he's done it with me enough times to be familiar with it. I still worried that he'd get lost. His brother (Midi) goes to the same place on a Tuesday so he was there. I sent a text to Midi to ask if he'd let me know when Mini turned up (Mini has his own phone but no credit). For about 10-15 minutes, I sat here in, well, I don't want to say 'panic' or 'worry' because that's not it. Perhaps 'concern' or maybe a little anxious. I must say it was such a relief when Midi texted to say that Mini had arrived. I'll be going to meet him as it will probably be dark when they finish, and a little late for Mini to be walking by himself. Mini is almost 12, he goes to secondary school, he's a Scout. He's also autistic, which means he will remember the way to somewhere he goes regularly, and he'll stick to the exact same route (even if it means going the long way round). I can't remember how old Midi was when he first started walking further than the local shop but he was only 10 when he first went on a bus on his own (with someone putting him on at one end, and another person meeting him at the other). I'm not sure I'm ever going to trust Mini alone on a bus! He's OK walking but he gets distracted on buses. Midi is 17, and I've recently begun to believe that he's perfectly fine on his own! I'm sure it wasn't long ago that I was still giving him directions, asking him to remind me what he'd do in an emergency, etc. And I have no doubt that the worries will return tenfold when he goes off to university, living with neither me nor his dad for the first time. I'm also fairly sure that Mini will be far older than 17 before I trust him to go further than to town by himself! I'm sure things were easier with Midi. We'd decide together if he was ready for something, then we give it a go (in gradual steps when we could). With Mini, it's different anyway but it seems rather odd considering he is, in a lot of ways, more grown up than Midi was. Not necessarily mature but Midi was a 'little boy' until he was about 14 while Midi has always been a little old man. I don't really know where this discussion is going. I think I am just waffling. So leave comments if you want!