Family Dynamics
By Ann LeFlore
@poehere (15126)
French Polynesia
September 13, 2017 8:27pm CST
A few years back I was in California attending to my father’s affairs because he had died. A neighbor I knew from living next door to him was talking with me. I told him about all the mess and problems my mother was causing me at the time. He said to me “Family Dynamics”. I had a good laugh about this. Sine this time it has stuck with me. Every time there is an issue with a family member I just look at them and say family dynamics and walk away.
Recently my mom is on her rampage again accusing me of this and that. She goes through these mental stages in her life. That is actually the only way I can logically explain them. When I am happy and ignore her she has to try and disrupt my life completely. The other day I received 10 emails, 30 calls on Skype, and 21 calls on Facetime. I knew she wasn’t sick and dying because my younger brother would have told me.
Every family has issues and problems. There is nothing perfect. Even when you think your world is perfect, there is always someone to come around and disrupt it for you.
Do you have people like this in your life? How do you handle this?
20 people like this
24 responses
@responsiveme (22926)
• India
14 Sep 17
As you say there is family dynamics in every family.
After a point there is just so much I can take and ignore the rest.The problem is it took me a very long time to learn this
3 people like this
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
14 Sep 17
You are really lucky and I wished I didn't have her in my life.
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
14 Sep 17
I do ignore her and she doesn't take the hint on this one. She keeps going in hope that she will get a reaction out of me. Hasn't worked so far.
@just4him (306853)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Sep 17
Woe, that's a lot of attempts at disrupting your life. Yes, family dynamics does play a big role in how we interact with family members.
I handle it by keeping my mouth shut and not causing any more trouble.
@mildredtabitha (16077)
• Nairobi, Kenya
14 Sep 17
Family dynamics. We also have such in my home but we complain and say sorry to each other. When times are good, someone would disrupt it. Like now my brother was found cheating in exams and so my mother has to go to school or he will be expelled for good and might miss his final high-school exams. Now my parents are stressed
1 person likes this
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
14 Sep 17
@mildredtabitha She is a drama queen and I am sure she has enough attention from the ones she is around now. She threw her family away and chose her friends over all of us. Now let her be with them I don't need to give her any of my attention.
1 person likes this
@mildredtabitha (16077)
• Nairobi, Kenya
14 Sep 17
@poehere I hope so too and thank you :)
I also think your mother might be doing all that because she wants your attention :)
1 person likes this
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
14 Sep 17
Yes, family dynamics is a hard place to be in. Especially with a mother like the one I have. I just have to cut all ties with her and finally block her on all my accounts. I will never have any peace and quiet unless I do this one now. Shame it had to come to this.
1 person likes this
@RichardMeister (5328)
• Otis Orchards, Washington
14 Sep 17
Some adults throw a temper tantrum when they feel ignored.
@RichardMeister (5328)
• Otis Orchards, Washington
16 Sep 17
@poehere Sometimes there is nothing you can do about problems people bring on themselves except ignore them no matter what your relationship is with them.
@kobesbuddy (74713)
• East Tawas, Michigan
14 Sep 17
Yes, my sister tries to stir up trouble, if there isn't anything negative going on. She even invents problems, to be upset about!
@Yadah04 (3363)
• Philippines
14 Sep 17
I guess my Uncle's wife is much like your mom. She is so fond of calling us in the middle of the night asking us to take her to the hospital when in fact she just can't breath because of colds. I mean, we have taken her to the hospital most of the time only to be told by the doctors that there is nothing to worry.
Sometimes we just want to ignore her, but then we would be very guilty if in case she is in already in a real emergency. So in the end, we usually give in to her request -- half-hearted.
@Yadah04 (3363)
• Philippines
14 Sep 17
@poehere yeah too bad. So even if we are in the middle of a hearty meal, or in a deep sleep, when she rings, here is nothing much choice left for us but to take her to the hospital. What is irritating though is that it is becoming to be her habit.
Ugh, i just so agree with this family dynamics thing. I might even mention that to my husband when she vents out his stress towards her. 
@Behindtheguitarbar (2831)
• Guangdong, China
14 Sep 17
It is hard to handdle this. Cause it is your mom, you couldn't escape from her when she needs help. My grandma sometimes shouts out in a high tone while getting angry. All of our family members hardly bear it. But we have to try to stop her and comfor her. However, I think we still need to get peace in life even though it is mom disruptting your life.
Well, things of course are different from other persons. If others disrupt your life, just stay away from them.
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
14 Sep 17
@Behindtheguitarbar My grandma always told me she should never should of had kids she was way too selfish and didn't know how to love. I think it is true.
@Behindtheguitarbar (2831)
• Guangdong, China
14 Sep 17
@poehere Anyway, wish things will turn out better for you.
1 person likes this
@Behindtheguitarbar (2831)
• Guangdong, China
14 Sep 17
@poehere Like I said before, we should believe that there are always some unsuitable or incapable of being parents. Be stronger, you could extricate from her.
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
14 Sep 17
@Whitehouse201 That's a good way of looking at it. All my life is wonderful and no problems to solve. It is her own doing and so for me there is nothing to solve there either.
1 person likes this
@Whitehouse201 (111)
•
14 Sep 17
@poehere life is a mathematical problems
Mean simply say life is a problem we have to solve this by hoock by crook whatever the situation is
When we die there will be no problem alive . But we can't die it's a worng way to solve problems
So have stay healthy and solve the problems it's our life
@kprofgames (3091)
• United States
14 Sep 17
It's hard to self protect yourself from family. Family is where you are supposed to be the most secure, but there are all kinds of nuts that fall from the same tree. I think a person has to come to terms with people are who they are and accepting that makes it easier to ignore the behavior.
I read through your other responses/comments here and if less or no contact with her gives you peace of mind then do it. It sounds a little too late on her part to try and mend any fences here. She has to deal with her life just as you have to live yours. I am sure she will never understand and play the victim here but how does that really effect you? If it doesn't, then why play into the drama she wants to live in.
Accept her for what she is and delete/block and just be happy you are a more productive person than she could ever hope to be. If you have other family that try and drag you back to the drama, set your boundries with them too.
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
15 Sep 17
She is not a person to make peace with. When my dad was alive I did try more than once with only the same results. Now my dad is gone she basically told us that she wants nothing more to do with us. she has told my brother more than once she never wants to talk with me again. So be it. I am done trying with her. she has gone too far this time to ever turn back or forgive he for what she has done.
@1creekgirl (40605)
• United States
18 Sep 17
I'm sorry about your mom. Some people don't know how not to cause a lot of problems. My relatives and I aren't close, but my husband, kids and grandkids all get along pretty well. We have our moments like all families, though. There was always a lot of drama in my husband's family, but most of them are gone now and we live a thousand miles away.
@JamesHxstatic (29256)
• Eugene, Oregon
14 Sep 17
Luckily, I do not, though my mother filled that bill for many years. She was a difficult woman.
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
14 Sep 17
Sounds like we all grew up with one of these moms. Wonder if it was the era they were born in and having to go through WWII. She was born at the end of the depression.
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
15 Sep 17
I wish and I wish and I wish again but it will never happen. She is evil through and through. This is sad to say and I know she is my mom but when she threw me out or basically made me leave at 13 to go and live with my uncle it was pure evil. She claimed it was for me to go to school to learn English.
@YrNemo (20261)
•
14 Sep 17
You are right, whenever we think our world is perfect, something bad or someone bad will always happen!
