Dowry = rapes, gang rapes, pedophiles increase, incests, human sex trafficking, sodomy
By vanny
@vandana7 (98731)
India
May 2, 2018 12:21am CST
I am not going to quote your scriptures or mine, nor laws. Nor historic and ancient stuff.
I am just going to appeal to your reasoning based on situation in India.
Before that, let me compare ancient dowry system, and contemporary one.
Ancient dowry was what the parents parted with WILLINGLY, out of natural love and affections, with need to ensure that their child has enough and does not depend upon others that may lead to her becoming obligated, or getting hurt. Since they traveled less in those times, the siblings too were generous out of same concerns, hoping that if she had any problems, she could survive, or return to her parental home.
Modern system, the in-laws ask that the girl be given equal share or even more. Parents may be UNWILLING because their son and his wife would be the care givers and so they need to leave them more. But the custom requires them to get the girl married in time, and so they borrow heavily, become a burden on son. Things can even get worse, if the son in law keeps on asking. The foundation for elderly abuse by daughter in law is laid.
Now the direct effects of dowry
a) Increase in abortion of baby girl fetuses since saving enough for her dowry is difficult. In India, medical costs are increasing at the rate of 15 percent or so per annum, compounded. Dowries are increasing at the rate of 24 percent per annum compounded.
b) Shortage of girls to marry
c) Increase in human trafficking for sexual purposes
d) Increase in incest
e) Increase in rapes, and gang rapes
f) Increase in rapes of babies and little girls
g) Increase in sodomy
Every other girl would face something like that and people would become indifferent to it.
Because money is involved, people from other communities may be tempted to adopt the custom.
Giving girl her share is alright, provided she is willing to undertake equal responsibility of the parents in old age. It ensures that the son, if he fails in business or dies, the elderly parents still have a caregiver to turn to. Ideally, though it may only be written in the name of children as in Trust, not even Will.
In so far as being a girl it feels terrible to be valued in terms of wealth, rather than being an individual with thinking and abilities.
In so far as being a guy IT SHOULD FEEL TERRIBLE TO BE TREATED LIKE A GIGOLO OR MALE PROSTITUTE.
Dowry 
13 people like this
7 responses
@skysnap (20154)
•
2 May 18
Wait till sweden model comes into effect. Then all hell breaks lose. Asian cultures will collapse to such extent that it's survival of the fittest. Those western fallout of cultures are still mellow. Eastern culture fallout will be like dakuraj back in business.
On the topic of dowry, I;d say females all over the world are glorifying alimony so I feel they lost the right to throw stones at people who are taking dowry.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (98731)
• India
2 May 18
@skysnap As to men being providers...you all are tying the noose around your own necks...by forcing that role upon yourselves. Sigh
With rising rapes, people will not send their daughters for studying and taking up jobs. This means man has to manage parents, children, and man without financial support from wife! And provide for retirement as well.
That will be tough for you all. Think about it. How costs have risen, and will continue to rise with growing population.
Time we made environment safe for women to contribute to home kitty as well because parents and children cannot.
That is another reason rapes and its reasons should be addressed first.
I will stand with you on gender equality in alimony issue. I believe those things you mentioned happened.
I am not asking for anti dowry laws here. I am asking people to seriously reflect upon it, and decide for themselves where they are going and have they not seen enough of what is happening because of it?
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98731)
• India
2 May 18
@skysnap Your frustration is understandable. Supreme Court's judgment declaring a girl father's responsibility whether she has a job or not is something I cannot comment upon without other details. On the face of it, it does look wrong. Both children are parents' responsibility. A child never asked parents, give birth to me. Parents have had means to control the fruits of their passion for long time now. If they have had children without thinking of their future, perhaps the responsibility factor can be attributed, but not in respect of only one gender.
Here I have not come up only for a gender. I have come up for safety of children, irrespective of gender. I have come up to prevent human trafficking, and men too get trafficked. If this makes you uncomfortable, you are welcome to your thinking. Nothing is being forced upon you. If 10 people see my reasoning logical, and one does not, I am not the one who has lost the case, have I?
1 person likes this
@skysnap (20154)
•
2 May 18
@vandana7 I am not trying to put the burden of that role of myself or anyone. I am saying provider role is being forced on men in the context of laws. hence the alimony. that's what i implied.
With or without rape or crime against women... the thing is, men are the one paying either way. Raped woman is still fathers responsibility Do you know recently court even said, job or not, woman is fathers responsibility?. So when Women doing jobs or staying in kitchen didn't changed man's role either. Equality was always a farce.
My point is : safety for women is not my concern or any man's either... me dying on road or getting mugged and getting killed was always a chance, if that happened do you think women will do candle march? hell that never happens.. so I am sure soon some men will wake up for this too and will shrug the role of standing up for women.. mind you I have women at home too. But sorry I have to stand up for my own gender because I don't want to suffocate anymore. Women are vocal on saying "All men are trash", so if all men are trash, then women getting raped or murdered is not any man's responsibility or shame. It's just plain old harsh life.
2 people like this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
2 May 18
This system needs to be changed, but I'm not sure how, unless your government outlaws it.
2 people like this
@ptrikha_2 (45422)
• India
12 May 18
@Srbageldog Governments do need to tackle and take strict action- and they do in many cases, but it is more a cultural and moral issue, where people themselves have to change their ways.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
2 May 18
Oh wow. I never fully understood the dowry practice. It isn't commonly practiced here.
The old way of doing it sounds somewhat charming, nice even. I've heard this idea called a hope chest - a woman would save up items for starting her own home someday.
The current way of doing it is appalling to me.
I had heard of infanticide in female babies because of such things and that leads me to ask - won't there be a shortage of women eventually? We need both men and women.... to be short on one (not to mention the horror of killing a baby at all) isn't a good thing.
I'm so sad for all the horror that women face there.
There needs to be an uprising to put an end to these practices. Who does the dowry benefit? The in laws?
3 people like this
@ConVolines (1449)
•
2 May 18
Yes! There needs to be a global uprising for a lot of reasons. Viva la populist revolution!
3 people like this
@ptrikha_2 (45422)
• India
12 May 18
@vandana7 people are waking up, but somewhere we tend to forget things in everyday work and hustle bustle.
Yet if our neighborhood is in trouble, we better get our act together lest the trouble reaches us one day.
2 people like this
@ptrikha_2 (45422)
• India
12 May 18
@Sreekala @vandana7 I think the problem gets worse when the couple have kids, and any side- in-laws of male or female start exploiting the situation to extract money.
Yet I believe somewhere if people start raising the voice and take matters to police or may be NCW etc, things will change.
But i feel sorry for the small kids whose families have such troubles.
1 person likes this
