Mourning Fog

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Sometimes you have to step back and look back to see that things weren't the way you thought. I got a wake-up call to do just that last week. You see, I thought I was doing well in handling my dad's death. It was hardly a shock: Dad was 87 and had been in failing health for a number of years (with a marked acceleration over the final three months). We knew it was coming. And, as with my mom (who had a brain aneurysm and lingered for 17 days) or my grandmother (who had stomach cancer), I did all of my crying early in the game. Maybe you'd call it "preparing" for the news, or a "new normal" without that person (or seeing that person fade away due to illness). When my brother called me, at about 3:30 in the morning, to tell me Dad had passed away, I was hardly shocked (maybe just that it happened so relatively quickly, as dementia had just started to really take hold of him). I even went to work that morning. I've since discovered the "mourning fog" (as opposed to morning fog) I was in. Putting material together for a project at work, I realized I sent the wrong material. Wow. Then last week I mentioned in another discussion about getting a refund from my bank by just asking nicely. Why did I need the refund? My homeowner's insurance was due the day after my dad died...and I forgot to pay it. (Everything's fine now: one quick call to USAA at midnight fixed that!) My latest realization that I was suffering from "mourning fog" came Thursday when I received a Fred Sanford note ("Lamont, you dummy!") from my dermatologist, reminding me I'd forgotten another bill. That, thankfully, was also not a big issue, thanks to the fact that it takes my medical insurance a while to let the doctor's office know what they are and aren't paying. Wednesday marks three months since my dad passed away. I'm hoping there's no more "mourning fog" surprises waiting for me in the mailbox! My prayers and condolences for all in the process of mourning. It's not easy. My dad's favorite singer was Carl Smith (Carlene Carter's dad, June Carter's ex-husband), and we had this album in the house when I was a kid.