Do good deeds ever go unpunished? Part 1
By The Horse
@TheHorse (238305)
Walnut Creek, California
August 29, 2018 6:42pm CST
Over the past few days, I have been practicing some Keith Jarrett piano jazz tunes I'm learning. I am using an electronic keyboard that a friend in Paradise CA gave me. He and his girlfriend bought a real piano, were short on space, and asked me if would take the electronic piano.
I later realized that I had an older electronic keyboard in the back of my closet that I had never hooked up. I tested it and found out that it works. I then gave it to my young neighbor friend, who of course has been playing with me on my new electronic piano. His mother mother came here from Croatia (six years ago) with very little, so it seemed the right thing to do (giving the older electronic piano to her child). Her kid loves music.
Yesterday evening, we switched pianos, to see "which we liked better," while I taught my class at the College. While I was teaching my class, my young friend's mother tripped over the AC cord for my new electronic piano, and broke the input into the piano. She expressed her displeasure at our carelessness with the AC cord, and told us how she had almost fallen.
When I brought my new piano home later last night, I did not realize I was bringing home a broken piano. She had not told me that. Nor had her son, who was probably confused. I brought the one I was giving to her son back to her house, not knowing that I had a broken piano in my house.
Her son and I tested the AC adaptors late last night, and confirmed that the problem was jack (part of my new electronic piano) that his mother had broken, not with the AC adaptors that came with the pianos.
Today, I bought some batteries and found that my newer piano does work with batteries. I will use it in that way and remain silent for now. Would you do the same thing? Late this afternoon I did a good deed for which I have not (yet) been punished. I will write about that another time.
Can you think of good deeds for which you have been punished? Can you think of good deeds for which you have NOT been punished?
12 people like this
11 responses
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
30 Aug 18
OH! I have seen this type! Never taking responsibility for their actions, always finding a way to blame others. "She almost fell?" Sure she knew she broke it! But it was not the kids fault so I would not mention it to him, or he might blame himself.
Always punished for my good deeds, I think I am retarded to keep doing for others.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (238305)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 18
@andriaperry Heh heh. I feel pretty from from BS when I'm working on my cabin in Montana, 20 miles from town.
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
30 Aug 18
@TheHorse I set my boundary when I moved 30 miles from all of those people and refuse to say where I live.
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@marguicha (230350)
• Chile
30 Aug 18
I confess that I´m not that nice. You have always been a guardian angel to that kid. I don´t like the mother.
1 person likes this

@marguicha (230350)
• Chile
30 Aug 18
@TheHorse I think the latter is more probable. In 6 years she could have discovered that you have been a big help. Anyway, she was rude to you. She can raise her child as she was raised. But she has to be polite to you.
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@TheHorse (238305)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 18
@marguicha I think the child likes to be around me in part because I am not strick. He complies with my rules, but if he does something "wrong" (e.g., playing with my stereo or 1914 mandolin without asking), I simply explain to him why he has to "ask first."
1 person likes this

@CinnamonGrl (7086)
• Santa Fe, New Mexico
30 Aug 18
I don't know but I'm really mad at your friend's mother right now. By the way, it's nice to see you. This isso weird, I have been having trouble with my internet lately and have beern able to get on any websites up till now, except myLot! I can't im, agine what's wrong but I'm going to have to end up calling ATT andI hate these kind of phone calls.
1 person likes this
@CinnamonGrl (7086)
• Santa Fe, New Mexico
30 Aug 18
@TheHorse why the heck would I be able to get on mylot and no other website? They keep timing out. Please be my tech haha
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@TheHorse (238305)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 18
@CinnamonGrl Close all windows. Delete your cookies and browsing history. Hug a voodoo doll. Log off and do a cold reboot. Heh. Did it work?

@just4him (323168)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
30 Aug 18
I think she should have watched where she was going and she wouldn't have tripped over the cord and almost fallen. It's too easy to blame someone else for our shortcomings. I'm sorry you got the blame for it and the piano is now broken because of her not watching where she was going. I'm guessing it would cost a few pennies to fix it and those pennies don't come easy.
I think, knowing what you've said about her, it was best not to say anything.
I'm sure there are some good deeds I've done that backfired on me instead of turning out like I hoped they would.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238305)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 18
Yes, it would probably cost upwards of $50 to fix the free piano. I just bought six el cheapo batteries at the dollar store and will run it on that for now. We'll see how long they last. I had no plans to use this piano for gigs, happily.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238305)
• Walnut Creek, California
1 Sep 18
@just4him Yeppers. We'll see how long these Dollar Tree batteries last. So far so good. I have this Keith Jarrett tune almost down, without the incredible leads, of course.
Provided to YouTube by Universal Music Group North America No Moon At All · Keith Jarrett · Charlie Haden Jasmine ? ? 2010 ECM Records GmbH under exclusive l...
1 person likes this

@Starmaiden (9308)
• Canada
30 Aug 18
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
As difficult as it is to believe, some good deeds are actually acts of selfishness. Those are the ones that usually get disapproval, disrespected or, as you say, punished.
Your little friend's mom may not appreciate your "kindness" because it may conflict with other, certain values she wants her son to learn. She may not want him becoming too materialistic or too dependent on others for his happiness.
She may also feel disrespected because you never "asked" her for her consent to give her son the keyboard.
Taking her son's bicycle to get it repaired after his mom obviously did what she did as a form of punishment or discipline to her child, (as strict and as unwarranted as it may seem to you) she feels that her toes have been stepped on and you intervened in something you had no business to. (Good deed aside)
So even though your heart is in the right place, you must also consider the feelings of the ones you wish to help. Unless they ask for your help or you get their consent to help, it's best to stay detached from the situation, but keep yourself open to help...just in case.


1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238305)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 18
Too many incorrect assumptions here. I did speak to her, without the child around, to find out if it would be OK to get the bike fixed. She wanted me to do it because she blamed me for the thing not reinflating after she deflated it as punishment for the child (we went to the gas station and it would not inflate).
I called her while the child was in school to ask her if she thought my extra keyboard would be appropriate for him. She said yes, so long as it had a headphone jack. I checked, and it did.
After working with families for more than a quarter of a Century, I've gotten pretty good at respecting both the needs of children and their parents.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238305)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 18
@Starmaiden I would never do anything for a kid that was not in line with a parent's wishes.
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@Starmaiden (9308)
• Canada
30 Aug 18
@TheHorse Ahh, clarity. I didn't get all of that in the original post. 

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@BarBaraPrz (51819)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
30 Aug 18
I hold doors for people coming behind me, and mostly, people hold doors for me.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61463)
• United States
30 Aug 18
Well, I did loan my son in law my car and he hit a deer. The monetary value of the car was much less than what it was worth to me. I had to put in an additional $3000 to buy another used car. I wouldn't have accepted the money had he offered to pay me but I would have liked it if he had offered lol And I agree, that woman is an ingrate. But hopefully you are a ray of sunshine in that boys life and with her as a mother, he needs that ray!!
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@TheHorse (238305)
• Walnut Creek, California
30 Aug 18
I would have to agree. Recently she let the air out of her son's bicycle tire to punish him for not listening to her. The tire's valve was compromised, and would not accept air after that. She blamed her son and me, and said she would not fix the tire. The other day, I took the child and his bike to get the tire fixed. The cost to me was $25, not a significant amount given what I make. But at some point, this has to stop.
@JudyEv (382036)
• Rockingham, Australia
30 Aug 18
She seems pretty tough - and not very grateful for all you do for the child. I posted all my wedding invitations in our bigger town. They were posted in tubes and I thought to save our postmistress the extra work involved in stamping them. But she was upset because she had wanted to do that for me. Sometimes you just can't win.
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