How to get a 5 year old to listen?
@MommyOfEli2013 (89633)
Rupert, Idaho
February 28, 2019 6:31pm CST
That is the question of the day.....
Eli does have his sweet/good moments....but a lot of the time lately he is stubborn and won't listen!
Also, he has been wanting to hit/kick/punch me.
we try to put him in time out....but he just fights it and won't sit. Tried taking away watching his shows/tablet time. Tried taking away toys.
Not sure what else there is.
If you have a kid this age, or when your child was his age....what did you do?
7 people like this
7 responses
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
1 Mar 19
I found different things work for different children, of course.
Honestly, at that age the best idea I found was changing direction when it came to anger issues. When you see him getting angry or getting ready to hit, say oh no you don't really want to hit mommy. Let's find another way to handle our anger. For my son, it was hitting a pillow. After a while, when he felt himself getting angry he would go find a pillow instead of taking it out on mommy!
With time out--they will fight you on it. You have to literally stand over top of them and not let them out until their time is up. With all kids the time could vary as to when they "give up" fighting not staying put. They might fight at first for the entire 5 minutes he should be in there!! But eventually he WILL learn you are the boss and you are not giving in.
It will feel like it's taking forever and you're going to go gray before he gives up! Lol. But one day it will happen out of nowhere and you will breathe a sigh of relief.
4 people like this
@MommyOfEli2013 (89633)
• Rupert, Idaho
1 Mar 19
Thanks for the response! And that makes sense that different things that work for different kids.
We try to change the direction, but he's always been the stubborn....if he doesn't have things he's way he won't be happy kind of kid lol. We'll keep working on that though. That's a good idea with the pillow....his teacher tried to tell him that he shouldn't be mean to mommy, cause I'm the only one he'll have.
Glad to know that all kids are like that with time out. It makes it harder now that he is 5 years old and bigger now....he is really strong for his age, lol! We will keep up with that too!
Thanks for the reassurance, sometimes it does feel that way for sure!
2 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
1 Mar 19
@MommyOfEli2013 Trust me after 5 kids and babysitting for 19 years, I think I have seen it ALL with kids!! 
And I absolutely understand how hard it can be and also how stubborn they can be.
And I absolutely understand how hard it can be and also how stubborn they can be.1 person likes this
@MommyOfEli2013 (89633)
• Rupert, Idaho
1 Mar 19
@LovingMyBabies Oh yeah, after all of that I can imagine! After having one kid I couldn't imagine having more lol....just kidding I still would love Eli to have at least 1 sibling.
@TiarasOceanView (70020)
• United States
1 Mar 19
I used distraction as much as I could.
When he was being naughty, I would just exclaim oh and start talking about something silly lol
Seemed to work somehow.
3 people like this
@MommyOfEli2013 (89633)
• Rupert, Idaho
1 Mar 19
If he is upset and crying, I sometimes will tickle him and make him start laughing instead. But if he is more angry and being rude/mean that doesn't quite work....but distraction can be great!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (189833)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Mar 19
I would restrict behavior. If he likes to go to the park, he only can when he acts right. If he wants to get an ice cream he can do that only if he behaves. Give him gold stars when he does what he is suppose to and end the week with a big surprise because he was so good.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (189833)
• Boise, Idaho
1 Mar 19
@MommyOfEli2013 ......I'd really push the praise when he is good too.
1 person likes this
@MommyOfEli2013 (89633)
• Rupert, Idaho
1 Mar 19
@celticeagle That's a very good idea, and I definitely try to...as much as I can.
1 person likes this
@MommyOfEli2013 (89633)
• Rupert, Idaho
1 Mar 19
We do the part of saying no to things if he does not behave....but may have to do the positive things for if he does behave
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (13048)
• United States
1 Mar 19
Usually hitting is acting out about something. Has anything huge recently happened? Some kids are just wired independent and stubborn and distractions help. Kids can be stir crazy too if they have been inside for too long. Taking away TV, tablets, and giving time outs may help but if he continues, maybe talk to a child psychologist who specializes in his behavior.
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (13048)
• United States
1 Mar 19
@MommyOfEli2013 Do you go for play dates with other kids? My 9 year-old granddaughter was an only child until she was almost 8 and she is home schooled so we found others to have play dates. She knows to behave or she will miss one. It's really helped out a lot. She went through a phase for awhile after we moved here and she felt more isolated and bored.
1 person likes this
@MommyOfEli2013 (89633)
• Rupert, Idaho
1 Mar 19
Yes, that is what I thought about the hitting....that it was him acting out. It is usually when we tell him to do something that he doesn't want to that he does that (like pick up toys, or get ready to go). I think that is Eli though, very much...independent and stubborn! It's possible that he may be bored and stuff like that...That's why I wonder if he'd be better off with a sibling to play with. But we can always talk to someone if it comes down to that.
1 person likes this
@MommyOfEli2013 (89633)
• Rupert, Idaho
1 Mar 19
@noni1959 We don't, actually cause we don't know any other parents really....well we didn't until he started pre-school. We actually know one of the other kids parents because the dad is an artist and we bought his art work, lol. But that is great that the play dates helped a lot....that's a good idea, if we were able to make it happen.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
1 Mar 19
You have to not give up / in, even if the things dont seem to be working all the way.
We've done a little of everything. Time outs and naptime. Taking away toys, and them watching tv / movies. Taking away desserts. Not letting the kids pick a show to watch, game to play, or what lunch / dinner is. Not taking them out to do things they like. No new toy or cool slippers when we next go shopping. Etc.
2 people like this
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
1 Mar 19
@MommyOfEli2013 oh its definitely frustrating, no doubt about that. Goodluck
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@MommyOfEli2013 (89633)
• Rupert, Idaho
1 Mar 19
@Courtlynn Yes it is....think that is just this stage he is in right now....hopefully he will grow out of it lol. Thank you!
1 person likes this
@MommyOfEli2013 (89633)
• Rupert, Idaho
1 Mar 19
We are definitely doing our best to not give up, or in....it just can be very frustrating at times....which I am sure you understand!
We've done all of that, except naptime because he won't do that! We'll keep trying with all of those other things too though. Thank you for your feedback!
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@ihasaquestion (8273)
•
1 Mar 19
We all used to be 5 too.. so I guess being loving is all you need..
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@MommyOfEli2013 (89633)
• Rupert, Idaho
1 Mar 19
@ihasaquestion That is a very good point.
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@MommyOfEli2013 (89633)
• Rupert, Idaho
1 Mar 19
That is very true! I am very loving to him, but need to be firm as well.
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@RasmaSandra (98005)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
1 Mar 19
Love the photo. He is quickly developing his own personality and what he likes or doesn't like. Ages ago when I was little my mom would choose the things I really liked and when I did not listen she would say do you like this and I would say yes, then she would say OK then listen first. It worked with me. Maybe this can give you some ideas.
Having a hard time getting your children to follow directions? Me too. So my friends and I decided to try our own group therapy. Don't laugh—it works!
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@MommyOfEli2013 (89633)
• Rupert, Idaho
1 Mar 19
Oh yes....he definitely has his own personality!! And we do something like that but it won't help for very long lol. Thank you, I will check out the link :)
1 person likes this
