Whether you're religious or non religious, I'd love your opinion!
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
Perth, Australia
March 13, 2019 5:09am CST
I pretty much say this every time I'm about to speak about religion. I feel I need to because I worry I will be misunderstood.
So I will start this by saying that no, I do not care what religion, faith or tradition people practice / follow as long as it's not hurting anyone or anything. I have a lot of questions and I struggle to comprehend certain things religious people tell me but I've never once attacked anyone for believing what they believe. If they are happy, then that's good.
I have to throw this in as well. I love my family very much but sometimes things are said or done that makes me sad or angers me.
So as most of you know, my dad has been through a lot with his toe and foot. A lot of us have been helping him out. My Aunty has been helping by driving him to his appointments. Yesterday my dad told me something that kinda ticked me off!
Ever since her husband ( my Uncle ) died from cancer, she's become Christian. Which I feel I know why but I will leave that out. Not relevant right now. Anyways she says some things that annoy me. Things like "You are going to hell unless you believe." or "I can't wait til I am in heaven." Or one of my 'favourites' 
"Your mother would be in hell."
Just quickly, why do people talk as if they just had a lunch date with God? As if they had a conversation about how he thinks and what he wants. If God is real, I'm pretty sure it's up to him on where he wants us all to go. I am fine with opinions but I do not appreciate harsh comments like my Aunty made. It's like a mocking goody two shoes type of comment.
So yeah my dad tells me something my Aunty said yesterday. And I quote "Every year God has given me something to keep me occupied around the time Danny died. And this year it's you."
Danny is her husband and my Uncle.
Now! Is it just me....or does it sound like she believes God has made my dad ill on purpose? I am thinking it is because my Aunty has also said in the past, and again I quote "God gave Uncle Danny cancer to make me a stronger person."
So....This loving God I hear so much about deliberately traumatised Danny's parents, brother ( my dad ), sons, nieces, nephews and friends to benefit just her?
I kinda feel that she says things like that because she doesn't know how to come to terms with the passing of her love. So she believes things like that to help herself cope.
I just find it morbid is all. To believe some being killed someone on purpose to better one's life is just selfish! Keep in mind I'm sure Danny didn't want to pass either! And in such a horrible way!
Anyway again, no judgement on believers or non believers. Just wanted opinions on this from both sides of the fence on what my Aunty has said. Are her words Christian like or is it just her filling in the blanks of what God apparently does and wants?
Thank you in advance.
"Your mother would be in hell."
Just quickly, why do people talk as if they just had a lunch date with God? As if they had a conversation about how he thinks and what he wants. If God is real, I'm pretty sure it's up to him on where he wants us all to go. I am fine with opinions but I do not appreciate harsh comments like my Aunty made. It's like a mocking goody two shoes type of comment.
So yeah my dad tells me something my Aunty said yesterday. And I quote "Every year God has given me something to keep me occupied around the time Danny died. And this year it's you."
Danny is her husband and my Uncle.
Now! Is it just me....or does it sound like she believes God has made my dad ill on purpose? I am thinking it is because my Aunty has also said in the past, and again I quote "God gave Uncle Danny cancer to make me a stronger person."
So....This loving God I hear so much about deliberately traumatised Danny's parents, brother ( my dad ), sons, nieces, nephews and friends to benefit just her?
I kinda feel that she says things like that because she doesn't know how to come to terms with the passing of her love. So she believes things like that to help herself cope.
I just find it morbid is all. To believe some being killed someone on purpose to better one's life is just selfish! Keep in mind I'm sure Danny didn't want to pass either! And in such a horrible way!
Anyway again, no judgement on believers or non believers. Just wanted opinions on this from both sides of the fence on what my Aunty has said. Are her words Christian like or is it just her filling in the blanks of what God apparently does and wants?
Thank you in advance.25 people like this
24 responses
@1creekgirl (44560)
• United States
13 Mar 19
I sure don't believe anything bad ever comes from God. But in this life, bad things do happen and God can often make something good come from it. Your aunt gives authentic Christians a bad name. We're certainly not perfect, but God loves every soul and it's entirely our choice to accept him or reject him.
7 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@1creekgirl Thank you for your answer. I feel the same way about her and people like her who have not really educated themselves with the religion they follow and start blabbing on about it in the wrong way to the point it makes people want to stay away.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (502812)
• Italy
13 Mar 19
I was born in Italy, so I am Catholic. Can you believe that when I was a kid in school the nuns scared us all the time talking about "God punishment", do this or you go to hell, do not do this or God will punish you. I remember that one time I asked "is God supposed to be good, so why he is so mean with humans?". Believing is one thing, blindly believe what religions say is wrong.
6 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@LadyDuck That is horrible! I can actually believe that only because I've heard stories. My mum went to a Catholic school. Actually she got in trouble quite a bit lol
But yeah I don't think I would have done well in a school like that. Obeying and following rules yes but being treated like that and being told things like that....No way. I don't think scaring people into being good is always the best way.
I love your question. Do you remember what the answer was to that?
4 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@Daljinder It's odd isn't it?! It's so wrong to me. I know scaring people is a technique to make people obey but it's so wrong!
2 people like this
@Daljinder (23193)
• Bangalore, India
17 Mar 19
@VivaLaDani13 I still do not understand the concept of "scaring people" (specifically children in schools) into believing something. Its so foreign to me. I have never feared God. My parents definitely. Even teachers, elders and other authority figures ....I have feared growing up when you do something you are not supposed to do. (LOL) But never God.
2 people like this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
13 Mar 19
She talking that way on lack of knowledge. God does not give trouble to any one or decide where he/she would go, like heaven or hell.
I learnt, it is our own actions decide our future. It is not necessary to believe in God but do good things, make others feel comfortable, never hurt any one intentionally, do things selflessly.
4 people like this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
18 Mar 19
@VivaLaDani13 She is not the final judge in your life. Is she knows where she will go at the end? Her actions determines here future or what she deserve and what she can assimilate. This is applicable for all of us, regardless of our believe on God or religion. God never punish any one, never decided any one's fate but our own ACTIONS alone decide all those. Very simple thing but people do not bother to understand or accept this BIG TRUTH.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
18 Mar 19
@Sreekala Thank you for that. I really liked your comment. Well said.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@Sreekala That is how I thought it was about. I even asked my Aunty about that. I said "So even though I try to help people out, sometimes to the point I am sacrificing my money, time, sleep etc, I'm still going to hell just because I'm confused on God's existence?" To which she tells me that yes, I am still going to hell for that.
2 people like this
@franxav (14597)
• India
13 Mar 19
I have friends Christians, Hindoos, Muslims, Buddhists and atheists . They are good people who never impose their beliefs on me. But I hate those who barge into my house, start long discourses on the Bible, trying to convert me to their sect. No one can say this or that person will go to hell. If someone says it, it is not Christianity.
5 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@franxav I am with you! I don't mind people who want to share their joy of their religion but I do get a bit annoyed when someone is trying to forcefully make me believe in something that I would rather look into myself and on my own time.
1 person likes this
@everwonderwhy (7355)
•
13 Mar 19
I believe she should stop saying those condemning things. They are not of God. Because the God of the Bible is "merciful and gracious God, slow to anger, abundant in lovingkindnesses and truth, keeping lovingkindness for thousands, forgiving iniquity and sin..." Look it up from Exodus 34.
5 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@everwonderwhy Thank you for your answer. No, I don't believe she is grasping the religion she now follows. Though, I don't know either. I just know that she contradicts herself a lot and says some horrible things sometimes.
3 people like this
@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
18 Mar 19
@VivaLaDani13
She sounds like a person that like to hear the sound of her voice and does not know what she is talking about and probably copies what others say.
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
18 Mar 19
@Hannihar lol you are spot on! She is like that.
2 people like this
@amitkokiladitya (171988)
• Agra, India
13 Mar 19
Irrespective of the religion, God really loved his people
5 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@amitkokiladitya That's something I hear a lot. Then I get a bit confused and disgusted when I hear comments like my Aunty has made.
2 people like this
@amitkokiladitya (171988)
• Agra, India
18 Mar 19
@VivaLaDani13 sometimes we all doubt what we think. But in the long run, reality is always the same.
2 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85923)
• Valdosta, Georgia
14 Mar 19
PLEASE forgive me for saying this but NOBODY that loves Jesus and is a TRUE Christian would EVER say those things! Sorry for the capital letters but this upsets me because she is also giving true believers and followers of Jesus a really bad reputation. That is NOT what we speak like or think like. We are NO better than anyone else and we show LOVE everywhere we go!! Loving God and following the example of Jesus is about being SELFLESS.
That can be taken many ways about helping your dad, what she probably was saying is God helps us through our own tough things by being a blessing for others who need it-which is AMAZING. Someone who is sick, or down, or someone who just needs our time and love.
I'm not the judge but she truly doesn't sound like she has Jesus in her heart. Please don't let anyone who isn't truly a believer change your opinion or allow it to be your only opinion of all of us Christians.
4 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@LovingMyBabies I was hoping you'd answer this one! Thank you so much for reading and for answering! I don't feel my Aunty is understanding it all correctly. Something is just off about the way she thinks! It's not good at all and it's not good to for her to spread such hate and morbid messages while at the same time claiming it's a beautiful religion.
3 people like this
@Daljinder (23193)
• Bangalore, India
17 Mar 19
@VivaLaDani13 It's contradictory. First lesson of all religions is banish all hate and negativity from within. She doesn't appear to have been successful in doing that.
2 people like this
@Mavic123456 (21891)
• Thailand
13 Mar 19
this is the problem with some Christians, they always want to preach.
4 people like this
@Mavic123456 (21891)
• Thailand
18 Mar 19
@VivaLaDani13 i really don't like people who became "Christians" to speak highly of themselves as a non sinner. I am Christian and I make mistakes an I say sorry. I got suffocate of people doing such.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
18 Mar 19
@Mavic123456 I know exactly what you are talking about. To all of a sudden decide you're Christian, doesn't mean you're better than anyone else just like that.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@Mavic123456 Some do yes. And to the point it becomes a little overwhelming. I really don't mind listening to someone speak highly of something that makes them happy but if it turns into a conversation of why I'm going to burn in hell, then I don't like that.
2 people like this
@katanncooper (274)
• Greenwood, Indiana
14 Mar 19
I believe in God. I do not believe that he would do something like giving someone cancer to make someone else stronger person. With his help she might have become a stronger or even better person,
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@katanncooper Thank you for your answer. It makes me sense that God could have given her strength to deal with the loss of her husband but yeah I don't agree with the horrible and morbid thing she thinks. I'm not religious but I know when something sounds off.
1 person likes this
@TiarasOceanView (70020)
• United States
13 Mar 19
It seems that woman is talking utter tripe..utter trash. That is not decent of her to do so. Sounds she lost it somewhere along the line.
4 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@TiarasOceanView I agree. Again, she's my Aunty and I love her but some things she says just makes me cringe and feel down. And these types of comments is just some of it. She can say some pretty morbid and twisted things some times.
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (98129)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
14 Mar 19
I do not agree with Aunty at all. She is wrong in her thinking. I believe the Lord always look out for us and when things go wrong He is there to comfort but never inflicts anything bad on anyone.
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@RasmaSandra Thank you for your answer. I'm not exactly educated with the bible but things that she says just doesn't sound right. It's so uncaring and mean.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (128854)
• Gainesville, Florida
15 Mar 19
I think she says the things she says (and believes the things she believes) as a coping mechanism, because she hasn't come to terms with the passing of her husband.
Or it could be she doesn't have a grasp of what Christianity really is all about.
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@moffittjc I feel it could be that way too or just something is going on because it's not at all loving the way she speaks sometimes. Only times it sounds loving is when she brags about her going to heaven.
@Daljinder She doesn't believe in counselling. 
One she saw told my Aunty her thoughts about God and because it didn't match my Aunty's opinions, she stopped getting help. 
One she saw told my Aunty her thoughts about God and because it didn't match my Aunty's opinions, she stopped getting help. 3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@Daljinder I'm not sure to be honest. I don't know if there is any religious counselling she could go to. Though I'm pretty sure you and I would know the answers to everything anyway. "God will watch over you." "Trust in God." Most things would be God related instead of actually tackling the issues from her past that may have possibly made her this way. Sweeping it all under the rug and allowing her to just put trust into something she can not see or actually hear, well....might as well just not get help at all.
Religion can sometimes be a band aid. Covers the wound but doesn't go deep enough to heal it completely.
3 people like this
@Daljinder (23193)
• Bangalore, India
17 Mar 19
@VivaLaDani13 Is there lack of religious counselors? if she doesn't even believe in counselling it won't work either way. Heads I win Tails you lose.
3 people like this
@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
13 Mar 19
@VivaLaDani13
I am sorry about your Uncle and your Aunt is something else. I am not a Christian so do not know what they believe in.
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@Hannihar No worries Hanni. Thank you very much. 
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
18 Mar 19
@Hannihar I am ok thank you. I did take a little bit of time off here to do some things. I have a new post coming up hopefully today to explain something positive that has happened recently. It's because of that, that I was off here for a little bit. Also because I've been really tired but trying to get some MyLotting in today.
2 people like this
@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
18 Mar 19
@VivaLaDani13
Dani, I have not seen you here. Are you ok?
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@Sheali Sometimes I wonder if religion was man made to cause corruption as well as control.
I am very interested to know what you mean by superpowers. Can you please explain what you mean exactly?
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@Sheali ah I had a feeling you were going to say that. Unless I am still wrong but do you mean kinda like The Law of Attraction? Like if you were to put out positive vibes, the universe gives it back?
2 people like this
@Sheali (7461)
• India
17 Mar 19
@VivaLaDani13 Super power is just a universal force for me.. a positive energy..
religion to begin with, was made to make people behave in a proper way but with time it was twisted..
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (58679)
• Delhi, India
13 Mar 19
To follow a religion is a matter of faith. Everyone has different perception about God and religion and nothing is good or bad.
3 people like this
@1hopefulman (45111)
• Canada
13 Mar 19
I would not pay much attention to anything she says.
3 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@1hopefulman I don't really take it as facts when she speaks this way. But I do admit it can still scar me a little because of how horrible it is to hear sometimes. And horrible that this is how she thinks and she can't see how horrible it is to think this way.
2 people like this
@innertalks (23745)
• Australia
19 Mar 19
I knew a man for whom religion wasn't making him a better person. I was thinking to myself, if a religion was any good, it should help to make the person grow into being a kinder, more loving, understanding type of a person too.
I left his religion then, to find one that might do that for me. I searched many religions over a forty year period, none of them ever did this for me though.
In the end, I concluded, nothing can change us from outside like that, especially, the teachings of any religion.
We need to change ourselves from within. Look at our own behaviours, try to improve ourselves, and try to become better people ourselves. Sometimes, if we have issues, a counsellor might help us to do this too, or reading a good book, on how our minds work, might help.
In the end, though, I did find also, that examining my own life experiences also helped. I have had some experiences that have changed my thinking, without necessarily improving me as a person though too.
Something at our core must change for us to change, and I think that is about our embracing the love in our heart. As Gandhi was reported to say here in another post, love, is the only God.
@innertalks (23745)
• Australia
19 Mar 19
@VivaLaDani13 You make some good points there.
For me, I wanted to believe in a God, and in something more than just this life, as for me, if this was really all there is, I would feel rather let down, that there was no creator out there responsible for it all, and a security factor in it all, hopefully preventing too much from ever going wrong, or ensuring, that things all jell together, mostly so.
I am not satisfied with just a life in this world. I want an explanation as to why I am here, and I want to know my own point in it all too, in my being here.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
19 Mar 19
@innertalks That is fair enough. I am the same way. Like I wonder way too much of why we are even here. Though admittedly these thoughts seep through when I am feeling down. ( I suffer with depression ) but on other occasions I just wonder what this is all about and if anything happens after our lives are over. Because it does seem a bit rough nowadays for people to work their fingers to the bone trying to keep a roof over their head while missing out on actually living.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
19 Mar 19
@innertalks You are very wise Steve. I often wonder what would happen if there was no such thing as religion. And then I wonder if religion is really based on a God or something / someone mistaken as a God or....it was done to control. To keep people living a certain way. I don't know. There's many theories. I don't care if people want to have a religion but I don't really know why people feel they have to be apart of one. Like you say, we can work from within. We don't really need someone to tell us from right and wrong. I mean yes we do, but we should remember that stuff always once we learn it. Someone who needs to be reminded of what's right and wrong is probably a lost person or someone who just likes to cause trouble.
2 people like this
@Shiva49 (28397)
• Singapore
14 Mar 19
I have my own beliefs but they are not cast in stone.
I am curious to understand "what floats others' boats" to keep them going.
I tend to be agnostic as I feel we have no proof where we go hereafter just like herebefore.
So do my best, help those in need, and face whatever.
The law of cause and effect, karma, appeals to me.
The fact is there are many beliefs but only one creator. In a way, we have created many gods!
It does not matter as we are all made from the same stuff and the gifted and the talented are not the preserve of any one place, race or belief - siva
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@Shiva49 Really loved your answer! I feel the exact way with everything you said! Only difference is, is that I only have theories about what there is. I don't have a belief about it all. Only theories.
2 people like this
@Shiva49 (28397)
• Singapore
18 Mar 19
@VivaLaDani13 Thanks, I believe we are sparks from the original.
We have the potential to rise high in consciousness but our ego and selfishness pin us down to own goals and defeatism. We are more into finding solace by highlighting others' perceived faults and defects and closing our eyes to our own - siva
2 people like this
@Daljinder (23193)
• Bangalore, India
17 Mar 19
I was upset and angry but chatting with you online inadvertently made me smile. Anyways, I really really wanna ask her what is her problem. And also tell her that she is so far off the mark when it comes to God that it isn't even funny. Maybe she learned a different meaning for "merciful" and "selfless". Some one quickly give her a correct dictionary please. 
Its really horrible to say what she did about your Mom. I personally do not believe in heaven or hell but if they do exist even then I do not believe hell is what people perceive. I can't imagine a loving and caring parent sending their children to fires of hell to punish them. You don't need to burn them to punish them. There are several other ways to correct the wrongdoings without hurting anyone.
Its really horrible to say what she did about your Mom. I personally do not believe in heaven or hell but if they do exist even then I do not believe hell is what people perceive. I can't imagine a loving and caring parent sending their children to fires of hell to punish them. You don't need to burn them to punish them. There are several other ways to correct the wrongdoings without hurting anyone.2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@Daljinder Offended I'm sure she may be. Though this is something that annoys me right....she can be mean to people in a personal way! Yet you make fun of a singer she likes, and she gets so offended. I wasn't there but her sons were making fun of Ed Sheeran and because my Aunty really likes him, she got all hurt. Yet she thinks it's ok to mock people in a personal manner? .....k.....
LMAO! ok THAT one might get me a smack!
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Mar 19
@Daljinder Glad I made ya smile D to the J! I want to ask her too! You know way more about her than just what's in this post because I vent to you about all this stuff. But yeah, this and other things, are things I want to know why she says/does.
I've actually been tempted to say "That's not very Christian of you." When she's said mean things to me. I'm getting closer and closer to saying it.
LOL! Exactly! Either someone is giving her the wrong information, or she is misunderstanding, or she is just angry and a bully herself!
2 people like this
@Daljinder (23193)
• Bangalore, India
17 Mar 19
@VivaLaDani13 Imagine her reaction if you do say that to her. Either she may be very offended or she may be hitting you below the belt.
Just tell her that you are supposed to read/ comprehend the Bible and follow your religion with BOTH heart and brain open and functioning fully.
2 people like this
@janethwayne (5191)
• Philippines
19 Mar 19
In life,we can't question God why this happen and why is it that it only happens to us or to them.Everything happens for a reason and only God knows that.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
19 Mar 19
@janethwayne I know that's how people feel if they are a believer in God. But for me personally I like to question things to try figure it out. I don't like being a sheep and following something without knowing every detail about it. Or just obeying because someone makes me feel guilty about it. That's just me though. I understand thoughts vary from person to person.
2 people like this
