Scotland's national dish

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You may or may not have heard of Scotland's national dish. Traditionally eaten on Burn's Night, it's called the Haggis and, for historical reasons we need not go into here, many people believe it's a total myth - a ploy to attract tourists to Scotland. Well, I tell you now that the Haggis is REAL. It's life cycle has only recently been uncovered and it has complexities you wouldn't believe. For a start it's a semi-aquatic creature which breeds underwater on high, cold, lochs on remote hillsides and only appears on land once it is mature (this explains why no-one has ever seen a juvenile Haggis) and, yes, it does have legs on one side which are longer than those on the other side thus enabling it to easily run round Scotland's steep hills (some run clockwise and some run anti-clockwise depending on which side the shorter legs are). If anyone doubts the existence of the Haggis then I suggest they visit the Kelvin Hall Museum in Glasgow where the only known preserved specimen of a genuine wild Haggis is on display. This display confirms the fact that the Haggis is a genuine creature for surely such an august establishment as one of Scotland's premier museums wouldn't participate in a hoax - or would they?