The Trials and Tribulations of a Kentuckian

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From that title, you probably know this is a dental issue. If you want to be a rich doctor in Kentucky, become an allergist. If you want to be poor, be a dentist. You know what has 30 legs and 8 teeth? Front row at a concert in Kentucky. Last night I had a tooth break. A weird break it was: it broke clean off, right at the gum line. The root is still in my mouth, but there’s a space where the top of the tooth used to be. (Kinda like my brain: there’s a space there where the mind used to be, too. ) This isn’t a new problem for me. A few years ago I lost a tooth (same location on the other side of the mouth), and the replacement took eight months and over six thousand dollars. I spent last night wondering if this was “it” for my pearly grays (I think I’ve mentioned before that my teeth are gray due to tetracycline staining), and I’d be a “normal” Kentuckian for the rest of my life: toothless. (Well, I guess the teeth would be “mine” once I paid for the dentures. ) One of the things that happened with my VA appeal approval earlier this year is that essential dental work is now taken care of. The problem is, you never know if your definition of “essential” and their definition of “essential” will match. No problem. I showed up, unannounced (best way to show up, as they tend to put up the “closed, come back later” signs up when they know I’m coming), at the dental clinic at the hospital this morning, with what broke off safely wrapped up in a pill container. (I did have a good laugh over that later, telling the dentist it wasn’t like he could glue it back on with some Gorilla Glue or something....but the “save that $1,000 crown!!!!!” mentality took hold when I felt the tooth break, so I grabbed it despite the fact that there wasn’t a crown on it.) Now I’m set up for the appointments: the remainder of the tooth will be removed, then I’ll go through that “let that heal, then put in a screw, let that heal, then put on the crown” process that takes between six and eight months. And with the money I don’t have to shell out because the VA is covering it, I’ll be able to get my bathroom remodeled! A little dental humor, courtesy of Mr. Haynes and Mr. Burns: