I cancelled my appointment....
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
Perth, Australia
July 18, 2019 10:15pm CST
I had an appointment today to see a psychologist who I have to see every now and then. I woke up not feeling too good as well as feeling like I was having a little panic attack. I don't HAVE to talk about this difficult time I am going through to this psychologist but I know that it would be best to. It's just such a hard thing to speak about. I have never been through anything like this before and honestly don't know how to deal with it. I know in my mind and heart that I will feel better about this over time but as this "thing" happened really recently, I'm not exactly at that "I'm over it" phase.
I kinda just wanted to be lazy and MyLot while watching TV today to keep my mind occupied but I have to go to the bank so got to get up anyway.
When I come back home, there's a good chance I will MyLot and watch TV so guess I will see you all then. I hope everyone is having a good day / good night.
What do you do when you have something going on that you don't really feel like talking about? I know it would be easier if I just told you guys but I can't. And I'm not keeping it a secret to be all mysterious or anything. I just can't talk about it but it's like I literally have no idea what to do to feel better about it.
22 people like this
22 responses
@kobesbuddy (78850)
• East Tawas, Michigan
19 Jul 19
Opening up to share our feelings and inner turmoil is healthy, but that needs to happen whenever you're ready. Nobody can tell you when the time is right, only you can determine this. Panic Attacks are hell, they immobilized me from communicating with other people. I felt like an odd ball, was ashamed of who I am. That needed to end and now it has ended.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jul 19
@kobesbuddy I completely agree with you. I know what it's like to keep things in as well venting and I know that venting is better. It's only that this particular is completely fragile to discuss. So will take some time for me to open up.
I'm sorry about the panic attacks you dealt with! It sounds awful! I'm glad they stopped! Really great news indeed.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jul 19
@kobesbuddy I'm terribly sorry for how bad it was but really do find you an inspiration that it's not so bad anymore. I hope over time it can improve more and more.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (78850)
• East Tawas, Michigan
20 Jul 19
@VivaLaDani13 I still have panic attacks, but not like before. I was afraid of almost everything, at one time. Now, things don't affect me as harshly as before. Little piddly things, I can overlook most of the time.
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (118725)
• Anniston, Alabama
19 Jul 19
Fine one of those help hotlines, tell them about it, they dont know you but they might can help.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jul 19
@andriaperry Thankfully a phone number has been given to me and I know it's the best place to call as it's specifically for what I am going through. I will make that call when ready as well as when I am home alone as I'd rather my dad and brother not to know about this. I also have my doctor as well so that's good. Thank you Andria. 
@Torunn (8606)
• Norway
19 Jul 19
What I do? Hmmm, I'm afraid I'm not a good example. What I usually do when I have too much to do or something I don't really want to deal with is fall asleep. I've never been the kind to stay awak thinking about things, and after I've slept I might have some new ideas for how to deal with it.
It doesn't really help when I'm too busy 'cause I don't get much done when I'm sleeping but not stressing is important, isn't it? ;-)
I've got some friends that go to different therapists. Some just go there for years and nothing seems to help. Just visited one of them in Helsinki, she did the more sensible thing and found someone to talk to when she was ready for it. She also made sure she found someone that fitted her temper/situation and didn't just molly-coddle her.
Hope you manage to sort it out when and who you need/want to talk to! :-)
1 person likes this
@Torunn (8606)
• Norway
20 Jul 19
@VivaLaDani13 I know that I'm stressed out when I can fall asleep at any time :-) It could also be genetical. My father doesn't stress and can sleep everywhere. Maybe he doesn't stress because of the sleeping? Hmm.
I have another friend who needs a therapist, but she saw one, it didn't help (3 sittings I think) and now she thinks that noone can help her. Tried to tell her that she should try different ones, it's not like changing a tyre, but she has decided that this is it :-/
If I ever need a therapist I hope I won't be that stubborn. Trying several isn't a failure IMO
1 person likes this
@Torunn (8606)
• Norway
20 Jul 19
@VivaLaDani13 It's a quite peculiar form of being tired. It feels like I can just decide that "I'm sleepy now" and then go to sleep. Doesn't happen usually, so it must be something in the brain. It's quite good though, most of my friends can't sleep when they're stressed. When you don't sleep you often get very ineffective so you don't manage to finish all the things you need.
My friends who have had successfull therapy have often gone for years, so after 3 times you've hardly tried. I tried to tell her, but she's probably not reach the first hurdle. I think you're right there, she doesn't think she needs to see someone and then it's difficult to find the right person to talk to.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jul 19
@Torunn Food for thought but not sure. I know stress symptoms can vary from person to person. Sleeping too much or sleeping too little. Eat a lot or not eat at all. Maybe stress for you just makes you feel exhausted enough to sleep or your brain possibly trying to make you escape? Not sure. 
oh man I can honestly understand that frustration! The thing with counselling, is that it doesn't take overnight to help someone. Or 3 times like your friend. It really depends what is going on but still, it could take 6 months to 1 years worth or more to start seeing results. The brain has to let everything go but also learn technique on dealing with it.
I do hope if you wish to see someone, it will all go smoothly. I feel like the first hurdle is realising you need to see someone. And 2nd hurdle is to find someone who feels right to talk to. All the other hurdles are just to let everything out.
oh man I can honestly understand that frustration! The thing with counselling, is that it doesn't take overnight to help someone. Or 3 times like your friend. It really depends what is going on but still, it could take 6 months to 1 years worth or more to start seeing results. The brain has to let everything go but also learn technique on dealing with it.
I do hope if you wish to see someone, it will all go smoothly. I feel like the first hurdle is realising you need to see someone. And 2nd hurdle is to find someone who feels right to talk to. All the other hurdles are just to let everything out.1 person likes this
@CookieMonster46 (13453)
• United States
20 Jul 19
If at all possible, I will talk about it here, because I look at it as a safe place. Second, my friends, sometimes, don't listen well or just say move on from what ever is bother me.
Here it is different people seem to understand, and gift a different opinion on things, which I really like.
I am here for a bit too on and off, but seems a bit slow here to me, I see people posting things, but then they will go to come back much later.
1 person likes this
@CookieMonster46 (13453)
• United States
21 Jul 19
@VivaLaDani13 that alright, if you don't feel like talking about it. I didn't talk about a few things here for a long time, and then i did. But you need to decide if safe or if you feel comfortable to do so.
Until I found this site, I really didn't share much, with certain friends, it's not that I don't get the answers I want, but they have a way of changing the subject back to what is on their own mind.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
21 Jul 19
@CookieMonster46 I agree. I do have other support when needed as well as a phone number that was given to me that are specifically for people who are going through what I am going through so when ready, I will try call that number.
I had to inhale deeply when reading that. Please believe me when I say I know that feeling! Only difference is, I get that sort of thing with family more than friends. I am really sorry. Please also believe when I say, if ever you want to talk about anything, I don't have all the answers but there is NO way in hell I will try to dismiss anything you want to say. I can always try my hardest to find solutions. If not, will be here to read / listen to anything on someone's mind.
I do understand the feeling when trying to talk about something only to have it pretty much swept under the rug to be forgotten about by them. Feels lonely as well as feeling like no one cares. It's tough.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
21 Jul 19
@CookieMonster46 ugh I'm sorry to know your friends sometimes don't listen to you as well as give you responses like that! I try to be as understanding as I can but responses like that drive me insane sometimes. I agree with you. MyLot can be so much more comforting than people we know offline. And I do talk about a lot of things here as I feel comfortable but I'm afraid this particular thing I have gone through / am going through will never be spoken here as it's a very touchy subject.
Actually, I have noticed things to be a bit slow lately. Or like hardly anyone is on.
Thank you very much for your answer!
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (23235)
• Bangalore, India
19 Jul 19
I keep my head occupied. Keep myself busy. Distractions distractions. But the thing is longer I put it off the harder it becomes. You need to let the control go for at least once. Hard decision to make but it IS up to you. You may never be ready.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jul 19
@Daljinder I agree with that. Like I said, I know it would be a better thing for me to talk it out. I already know what it's like to keep things in hence why I plan on talking about it regardless. Just difficult at the moment. Thanks D to the J. 
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jul 19
@hardtimes1958 Trust me, I am aware of ALL of that. I will be 100% talking about this situation but just not right now. I also HAVE to talk about it with my doctor at my next appointment so I don't exactly have a choice. But I will be calling people about it soon. Just not right now. But 100% will not be talking about this on MyLot. Not even if I was paid a million dollars.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jul 19
@hardtimes1958 I understand that completely. I am ok with sharing some things about my life just like you were. But not everything has to be told publicly if one doesn't want to. I have the support I need when I am ready to reach out and grab it. I'm just not ready to speak about it. But I know it will be spoken about as it's a big deal and I know it would be better for me to let this out.
1 person likes this
@Nakitakona (58395)
• Philippines
20 Jul 19
You're in trouble and you couldn't understand it. It bothers you. Are you not going to tell it to your trusted friend? If it doesn't bother you, forget?
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jul 19
@Nakitakona I'm not in trouble. I also wasn't in trouble either. But something did happen and it does bother me. If it didn't bother me, I wouldn't be sad. So I won't just push it all to the side like it didn't happen. I also know exactly what just happened and understand it. My feelings and thoughts are completely valid considering what I just went through.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jul 19
@kareng Thank you very much. I really appreciate it.
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@lovinangelsinstead21 (36847)
• Pamplona, Spain
20 Jul 19
Its something that is not easy to talk about and if you don´t feel like going there to see her leave until you feel stronger in yourself.
1 person likes this
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36847)
• Pamplona, Spain
20 Jul 19
@VivaLaDani13
Have a great weekend ahead no worries.
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jul 19
@lovinangelsinstead21 Thank you, same to you.
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jul 19
@lovinangelsinstead21 Thank you. That is very true.
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@xstitcher (35450)
• Petaluma, California
27 Jul 19
I go and talk to someone, too. I usually don't cancel because "I don't feel like it"--in my case, especially lately--work gets in the way and I go to work because I need the money. I talk to God about a lot of my difficulties, as I'm not big about airing them in a public forum, either.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
27 Jul 19
@xstitcher That is fair enough. Everyone has their way of dealing with things.
@RasmaSandra (88699)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
20 Jul 19
Hope you feel better and take care of yourself. I have had my anxiety moments and I too do not like to talk about them so I can keep myself calm.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jul 19
@RasmaSandra Thank you kindly. I can understand you not wanting to discuss those moments with anyone. I admire you calming yourself down during those times.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130204)
• Israel
1 Aug 19
@VivaLaDani13
Sounds like you did the right thing in taking care of yourself. That is what you needed to do. I felt that way before and I just didn't come back to the computer and watched TV and relaxed. There are things that are hard to talk about.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
1 Aug 19
@Hannihar Watching TV and relaxing was a good choice. I think the more we all take time out for ourselves, the better. And I agree. Some things are just hard to say out loud or hard to talk to specific people about.
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
1 Aug 19
@Hannihar That is understandable. Taking time off our computers / laptops can be refreshing. Gives us another type of "me time."
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@Hannihar (130204)
• Israel
1 Aug 19
@VivaLaDani13
Dani, you are so right. That day I was too exhausted to care and did not feel like typing so watched TV instead.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
21 Jul 19
@CarolDM That is true. I haven't done a journal in such a long time. I'm not sure if it would help me but I think I could try it! Thank you for your answer as I didn't even think about a journal. I think it's worth a try!
@MommyOfEli2013 (85539)
• Rupert, Idaho
19 Jul 19
Sorry you weren't feeling too well....and don't know what to do about what you are going through. I definitely get, and respect you not being able to talk about it here. Hope you feel better sometime soon though
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jul 19
@MommyOfEli2013 Thank you so very much for your kind words and for understanding me. Really appreciate it a lot.
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@MommyOfEli2013 (85539)
• Rupert, Idaho
20 Jul 19
@VivaLaDani13 It's my pleasure, and that is what I am here for! Anytime :)
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jul 19
@Starkinds Yeah was an alright day thank you. How about your day?
@Starkinds (32722)
• India
20 Jul 19
@VivaLaDani13 hi good evening how's your day today?
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@yanzalong (19087)
• Indonesia
19 Jul 19
I hope you will recover from this condition. I think you can.
1 person likes this
@garymarsh6 (23824)
• United Kingdom
19 Jul 19
You will know when the time is right to talk about it. I would try to confide in your psychologist if you can because a problem aired is a problem shared. That will release you of the burden. You can only do that when you are ready but an open forum such as this is not the place for it. Of course we can offer you support but do not do it on mylot. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jul 19
@garymarsh6 "A problem aired is a problem shared." I've never heard that before but I really like it. And thank you, I understand what you mean and talking about it is definitely something I intend to do. I guess just not right now but soon I will.
I don't mind sharing some things on MyLot and never mind when others do it as I know it's a sign of someone venting. But as for this particular thing, I will never be sharing it on MyLot.
@Deepizzaguy (113805)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
19 Jul 19
A good idea is to chat with someone who knows what you are going through a self help mental health telephone number.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jul 19
@Deepizzaguy A number has been provided for me to call and it's specifically for people who are going through what I am so I will be giving that number a call when ready. Thank you George.
Thank you George.
@JohnRoberts (109845)
• Los Angeles, California
19 Jul 19
Just chill and distract your mind.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jul 19
@JohnRoberts I will do that for sure. But soon it will have to come out to the right person / people.
But soon it will have to come out to the right person / people.1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Jul 19
@Sojourn Thank you very much.
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