How much would you gift for a wedding for a party of two?
By Lena Kovadlo
@lovebuglena (52209)
Staten Island, New York
September 16, 2019 3:39pm CST
We have a wedding coming up at the end of September. It's hubby's cousin that is getting married. At first, his mom said that we have to give as much as the cousin gave us when she came to our wedding. Then she told us we have to give at least $400 for the two of us.
I do not agree with what she said. I don't believe that we have to give someone the same amount that the person gave us. And the minimum we give should not be dictated by others or by the potential cost per person in the venue chosen. If hypothetically, the venue charges $200 per person that doesn't mean we have to pay that much. We should give how much we can afford and then see if we want to stick to that amount or make it lower.
How much a person gives, first and foremost, should be determined by how much money he/she can physically gift to someone, without causing any sort of financial strain to pay the bills or buy necessarily things. It also shouldn't leave him/her with hardly anything in the bank account. Then a person can decide whether he/she wants to give that amount, make it lower, or maybe even go slightly higher.
5 people like this
5 responses
@lovebuglena (52209)
• Staten Island, New York
16 Sep 19
We can't not go to this wedding. And I am not sure if we can give $400, even if that's what hubby is planning to give.
As for covering the cost of seat... what if people choose the priciest place and the highest priced banquet... why should I have to pay for that? And if people expect the guests to cover the cost per person they should consider that when they are choosing the venue and the banquet. Just because they can afford it doesn't mean all the guests can.
1 person likes this
@NJChicaa (127180)
• United States
16 Sep 19
@lovebuglena That's why I said to decline it if you don't think you want to or can afford it. I always give at least $200 at weddings but more when it is at a fancier place. That is just what is done.
@lovebuglena (52209)
• Staten Island, New York
16 Sep 19
@NJChicaa In this case we can't decline. Hubby is paying. I hope he will not be in a situation where he will give how much he wants and then end up being left with almost nothing.
@LindaOHio (222806)
• United States
16 Sep 19
That's a tough one because it depends on what you can afford. The minimum should be around $100 I would think.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (52209)
• Staten Island, New York
16 Sep 19
$50 is definitely way too low. In our case, hubby is paying, so ultimately it is his decision on how much to give. But I would not do $400.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (52209)
• Staten Island, New York
16 Sep 19
@NJChicaa I would never think of giving someone only $50. It is definitely way too low. But then again the person should care more about be being there than how much I put in the envelope.
1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (59342)
• Sterling, Virginia
16 Sep 19
How much a person can give depends on what they can afford. A gift is a gift no matter what the prices and you don’t have to give the same to another person as what you got. No two people or even group can give the same amount. The last wedding we went to we got a $20 gift card because that was what they wanted. I also went to the bridal shower which I gave a gift of $20 off of a gift list she had given us.
1 person likes this
@ShyBear88 (59342)
• Sterling, Virginia
17 Sep 19
@lovebuglena my husbands best friend know we live on a tight budget and we were expecting our third is our present and my husband being in her bridal party was more then enough for them. They asked for cards in any amount people could give because they where planning on buying a house and have pets to take care so they wanted to pick what they like and not get 12 of the same things but also make sure there pets where feed.
When we got married we didn’t get anything but we had a court wedding so I could have cared less about getting anything. We do plan on a vow renewal but it’ll be like a party with no gifts just family being together and helping us celebrate being married together.
@lovebuglena (52209)
• Staten Island, New York
16 Sep 19
I think the amount of the gift should not be as important to the host as the presence of the people giving the gift. There should be no judgement if someone gives an amount that the host deems too low. At our wedding, what we got ranged from $1000 to less than $100. You give what you can afford and what you are willing to shell out. If a person stops being friends with you because you gave less money then they were not really a friend to begin with.
@kobesbuddy (78833)
• East Tawas, Michigan
16 Sep 19
It's definitely based on what you personally can afford. It's not determined by what they gave you for your wedding gift, that's crazy! I'd never let a bill go, to buy a wedding gift:(
@lovebuglena (52209)
• Staten Island, New York
16 Sep 19
If I were in a situation where my funds were very low I'd either not go to the event or go but give only a little amount. I'd never leave myself with next to nothing to attend a party.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (52209)
• Staten Island, New York
16 Sep 19
@kobesbuddy Some say if you can't afford to pay for yourself (as in how much it costs per person) don't go. But if a person is tight with money he or she may never be able to go anywhere and therefore miss out on all the family or friend gatherings.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (78833)
• East Tawas, Michigan
16 Sep 19
@lovebuglena Our immediate family needs are more important, than making sure a wedding gift is expensive enough.
1 person likes this
@Ladanger (14572)
• United States
17 Sep 19
That's alot of money to give. If i had to pay that, i wouldn't go.
