Short Story: When being helpful is not really being helpful at all!

Yes, thanks, Scott. We can have intent, and the reality can be different. Sometimes the intent, is malicious, though, and sometimes it is done in ignorance. A good intent, is better than a bad intent, despite the reality, being as it is, would you say that though? Some people also say that we create our own reality. The Mullah was feeling sorry for his father-in-law, because he had spent the whole afternoon, in the Mullah's garden, cutting the edges of his lawn border, bordering his garden. It had been an excruciatingly hot afternoon, and the old man had cut all of the edges, just with a pair of kitchen scissors. It took him hours to do, all in the hot sun, and the old guy was already, well into his eighties now, as well. He was afraid to disturb the Mullah, in his study, with the door shut, and working on his upcoming talk, on the nature of impersonal reality. Was it different, or the same as the nature of personal reality? The old man had done a great job, though. All of the edges were straight, and perfectly done. Not a blade of grass was out of place. The Mullah had not asked his father-in-law to do anything, but to rest, on that very hot afternoon. He had helped again, but at least this time, he had done well. The Mullah took him out, and he bought him a large icecream cone, which he lapped up with a happy pleasure, and with a big smile in his face too. "His afternoon's work was worth it," was the simple thought in his head. Photo Credit: The photo used here belongs to me, the author, of this piece. The old father in law had a good eye still, for seeing a straight line, even if he was already close to 90, years young.

@Shiva49 We all have our own particular skills, and even the cat enjoys their catnapping, so there is nothing wrong with that. The Mullah has been known to have a 30-minute kipper down himself in the early afternoon too, as he has a fold-away mattress in his study, that he will lie down on, at times, when his head is too full of his realisations.

@innertalks I wish I had such skills and motivation at his age but I need to get over the napping habit in the afternoon!

Yes, it is certainly comparable to invading someone's space, when we do things unbidden, in their space. At other times, people do mean well, as this next example shows, but they still do things in the wrong way, because they have no knowledge of the right way to do things here, which requires specialist knowledge to do them. In these circumstances, they should not just rush in, but ask for advice first, about what they should be doing to help, and not to hinder, the person, doing the task. The Mullah went for a walk with his father-in-law, and he spotted some grass growing in a field, which he knew that his birds liked that particular type of grass, with that type of grass-seed in it. So, he started picking some to take home with him, so he might give them to his birds, when he got home again. The father-in-law, also wanting to help, and seeing the Mullah picking some blades of grass, started to pick some grass too. The trouble was that he picked the wrong type of grass, those ones that have sticky, spiky seeds, and which would have killed the Mullah's birds, if fed to them. The Mullah tried to explain that he had to pick only a certain variety of grass, but the father-in-law, being also hard of hearing, as well as hard of understanding, had no idea of what the Mullah was meaning. The Mullah took the father-in-law's picked grass, and he threw it into the bin. "These type will kill my birds," he more plainly said, and perhaps the old man now finally understood him. The Mullah had to be a bit directly blunt with the old man, to make sure that he really got the real meaning this time, as otherwise, he might gather some of the wrong grass seeds, while on his own one day, and give these to the Mullah's birds himself, and so inadvertently kill them. Photo Credit: The photo used here belongs to me, the author, of this piece The Mullah's birds enjoying their grass seed, in their cage.

@innertalks With friends like these who needs enemies? comes to mind. The Mullah is left o watch his back as even good intentions are handed in a poisoned chalice.

@Shiva49 Good intentions do not cut it sometimes. The Mullah made a cup of coffee for the old man, soon after he had first arrived. As an expert coffee maker, and having been trained as a barista too, he made his speciality, a special mix that had once won him first prize for both its taste and its presentation in a local show. He thought that the old guy would love it too. He hated it. The Mullan learnt an important lesson here. He was not making the coffee for himself. He should have asked the old guy how he liked his coffee made, first.

Yes, that's often a very true saying, but sometimes people interfere with their help, without even asking us if they can do so, as what happened here, in my story. Then we often have to undo things, and still do them ourselves too.

Yes, that is a good point. Like the old story, of the good samaritan gent, helping the little old lady across a busy road, to the other side, when she was just standing there, looking at the cars, and motor-bikes riding past, filling in time, for something to do. She did not want to cross over the road, at all!

@innertalks I know that one and it is a great example

@RasmaSandra Yes, it is oft-repeated, and known all over the world I think too.

@innertalks You are an amazing helper.

Yes, I always ask the other person if I am helping them in their way, or if I am doing what they wanted me to be doing. I used to do gardening for a lot of old ladies, who lived around my area. I never did anything my way, but always in their way, for after-all, it was their house, and their garden. I only made a few suggestions, from time to time, but the rest of the time, I just quietly worked for them, not against them.

@innertalks Nice and full of lesson naration

Yes, attempting something with only a little learning can indeed be dangerous, for our self, and for those who will have to endure the results of our actions too. That's why the Government legislates that only qualified people can be electricians, doctors, chiropractors etc etc etc.

@Nakitakona Yes, that's right, but in some countries, like here in Australia, they are catching up with more and more of these non-experts. Martial arts was legislated, osteopaths, second-hand dealers, even massage practitioners, you need a licence here now. I am not sure what is left that you can do without being qualified anymore here. Maybe, a chess tutor; you can still do that without proof of your skills and abilities at chess.

@innertalks That's right but there are still do the things they're not expert to do.

Yes, the Mullah certainly rises to the occasion, and mostly follows his heart, rather than any hurting, in his mind. God always helps the helper, who helps in the right spirit of love, and so helping really helps, rather than hinders, because love shows you if you are helping in the right way, or not, if you keep your heart open to those being helped. Yes, women, seem to be able to connect to others better than men can too, and this connecting keeps them aware to see if their help is really helping the other person they are trying to help, or not.

@Shiva49 Perhaps he tries harder with someone that he now has to live with, maybe he is testing himself, to see how he can control his reactions, and still access his heart, maybe, also his love for his wife, and the fact that this is her father, further tempers his responses too. It's a funny word "temper"; we can learn to temper our temper, and it means to control it, or to keep it measured down a bit. The Mullah realises that most people do try to help others but in their own way. But, they often do not seem to have the awareness to think past their own way/methods of helping others to the possible consequences of their actions. Here is another example from the Mullah's almost full journal of happenings that have happened to him when he is with his father-in-law. The Mullah was on his way to his community hall, to give his weekly talk there. He had decided to take his father-in-law with him, because the old man had been sitting around, looking pretty bored with himself, all day. They went out to the Mullah's garage. The Mullah tried to lift the roller door up, but something seemed to be holding it down, from its going up. He looked down the other end of the door, and the father-in-law was there, holding the door down. He was only a short man, and his idea was good. (for himself) He did not want the door to go up to the top of its roll, as he couldn't then reach it, to help bring it down again, once the Mullah's car was outside of the garage. The problem was though, if this is done, the door is still top-heavy, if it is not rolled up to its top full position, and then it is in danger of falling down again, unexpectedly so, as the car shakes it a bit as it goes underneath it, and a disaster will follow. The car will be hit with the falling door! The Mullah used a bit of extra strength, and so he pushed it past the pulling down hands of the father-in-law, so that the door then was rolled up, all of the way to the top of its roll. The father-in-law was not even going to be the one to pull it down again on the other side, though, before they drove off anyway, as the Mullah had to do this, as he had the key to lock it, and the father-in-law was already inside the car, by then, and it would take him too long to get out and in again, if he had of been the one that had done this too. At least, he was trying to help me here again, the Mullah smiled to himself, as they drove off together. "That's another good tale for my talks about human relationships, I have here, which I will give out to the good people of this village, next week, in my talk next week, after I have had the chance to write it up tonight," he thought to himself, as he powered the powerful sports Jaguar car up, and sped off quickly into the distance. The old father-in-law was slow in most of the things that he did now, but he did like the Mullah to go fast in this car, so the Mullah, at least, always obliged him in his doing this for him too, whenever the old man was in his car, with him. At most other times, he would only drive slowly, for he knew the power of the car, and he knew that he didn't have to prove its speed, or its power, to anyone else, as he drove it along, by himself, happily singing along, as he drove.

@innertalks Yes, the interconnection of the hearts is palpable in the way the Mullah is able to tide over some tough situations. I have come close to throwing in the towel a few times seeing how intransigent others can be when they never budge an inch. The patience of the Mullah, inspired by love for another human, shines in the way he tackles his father-in-law.