Marriage Murmurs

He loves her, but he was hurt deeply by a previous marriage. He never planned to get married again and doesn’t want children. He made that clear to her many times over the course of their relationship. But many girls have different ideas about marriage and children.

@macayada No, he doesn’t have any children and never wanted them, unfortunately. He loves them, but doesn’t want to bring them up in this world. She has finished her studies and money certainly isn’t his problem or hers for that matter. We shall see what happens.

@DianneN If he has children from previous marriage then he is no longer excited to have again with other girl. I think he wants the girl to finish her study first so that if it happens that they are not meant to be then at least he did not spend a single penny for her study nor a contribution for that matter. He is only assuring his stand for it is always in his mind that the same situation as his first marriage may happen again.

Me, too, but he has his reasons. I hope so. We just want him to be happy.

@paigea She says that now, but I'm sure it can change once she is married to him. She's all about saving the planet, animals, reducing this and that, and not overpopulating the earth, etc.

@DianneN Hopefully she doesn't want children either.

@DianneN He will have the sort of MIL men don´t want to have.

I totally agree. Her mother told her he was a good catch, so I think she is pushing it.

@marguicha He does like her mother. I do, too. I think she wants what's best for her daughter. My son is establish, has a fantastic career, a big, beautiful house, nice cars, is thoughtful, generous, caring, loving, helpful, and neat.

I have one friend who never wanted children, but it’s natural that most young girls do want them. My son has made it clear to her from the beginning. He’s firm in his decision.

@DianneN he is a good catch but that's not what marriage is all about.

@MarshaMusselman He is well aware of that.

I think her mother thinks he’s a good catch. She made him a photo album titled, Our First Ten Years. Only this year’s photos in it so far.

I agree. He told her he never wanted to marry again or have kids when the first met and throughout their relationship. She reacted well and will give it serious thought he said.

@DianneN I think your son was deeply hurt by his previous marriage. But he can have a child if he wants and get married when the right one comes, though it is his decision.

@Janet357 He was, and you are so right. He really doesn’t want children at all.

@DianneN We know his side, but not hers. He has been upfront with her all along and It appears they are at least talking about things - open communication is always good. I just hope she is not thinking that she could change him eventually. And the having children (or not) part is a very personal choice - I do feel both should be in sync about that if it is for the long run. That biological clock sometimes changes people's minds. They've been so great together thus far, I hope they truly take their time with all of this.

@DianneN That's so great he can confide in his parents - I love that kind of relationship you all have. They are both sensible adults . . . in time they will figure out what's best for themselves. I'm all for not rushing . . . I just hope it works out for them .

Exactly and thanks for remembering. We will just have to wait and see what happens.

@DianneN Of course he is a good catch he is a handsome guy

@Tina30219 Aww, thanks!

I hope so. Her mother thinks he’s a good catch and may be pushing the matter.

Thanks for your input. Those life issues are very important. My son made his feelings perfectly clear to her since day one. Well, perhaps day 2.

@DianneN To be honest this is exactly what I thought, the mother who pushes her to get married. My husband did not want to get married, I told him that I was fine living together, I had to wait to turn 21, that was the legal age in Italy at those times. One day he said that he "could not wait", he wanted to be together all the time and so we married. It was clear from day one that he did not want children, I agreed. I am sure we would be together even if we would have decided not to get married.

@LadyDuck Your husband sounds like my son. I hope she agrees as you did about not having children, just so they can remain together.

You have a good memory. He’s made his position known from day one. It’s up to her now. He told us he doesn’t want to waste her child bearing years if she really wants to have children. We think her mother is pushing her to get married. Her mother thinks he’s a good catch.

He told her his feelings about marriage and kids when they first started dating. He was very upfront with her.

@DianneN So I guess she is okay with it

@rakski She says so. We will have to see.

She’s just doing what hubs and I did - talking of being married before the actual proposal. He’s been up front with her from day one. We shall see what happens. No rush for anything.

@kobesbuddy Actually, I asked him about her moving in little by little. He thought it was cute, but could banish her any time. She’s not malicious, just innocent.

@DianneN But she has been moving her personal items into his house. She needs to slow down and not pressure him to make this decision. He's afraid the same thing might happen again!

Yes, that’s her. Thanks. She’s beautiful and bright. No, we have talked to him until we were Blue in the face. He is adamant about not wanting children. However, he would make such a great father. He has a way with kids.

@sunrisefan He won’t change his mind. I am grateful that I have two grandchildren from my other son. Otherwise, I couldn’t bear life.

@DianneN Hope he changes his mind and have at least one child.

Thanks. He definitely doesn’t want children and doesn’t want her wasting her childbearing age. I hope they work it out.

@thelme55 I’m sure, too.

@DianneN I am sure they will work it out.

@DianneN Yes for sure !

Thanks for understanding. We will know soon enough.

We just want him to be happy.

Thanks so much. The ball is in her court. He didn’t want to get married again, but he does love her.

He’s a successful businessman, but his brother is a lawyer.

Thanks. She only wants him so far. He’s coming for a garage visit in a couple of minutes. Perhaps we will learn more.

@LindaOHio No scoop. He stayed for 90 minutes and talked about work, her cats, and sports!

@DianneN I will be interested in the latest scoop! :-)

Very tough. She’s thinking about it. Huge decision on her part.

@Mikmath To her and more so, to my son. lol

@DianneN Good luck to her!