A Very Important Business Matter

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The phone rang from a local area code. When I answered the call a woman with a very thick and almost unintelligible Indian accent began to speak. "I am calling to speak to James Bo." Bear in mind, these reiterances of her part of the conversation are entirely my interpretation of what I could make out through her very poor English. "Who?" I asked. "James Bo." "There is no James Bo here." "Are you not the person we are trying to call?" "Well, there is a James here. But not a James Bo." "I have B-A-U-E-R." "Well, that's not Bo. That's Bauer (pronounced like bower—like bow wow ruff ruff)." A short pause. "Are you then James Bauer?" she asked. "Yes. That's me." "I have a very important business matter to discuss with you. Can you verify your date of birth?" "Sure," I said. Long pause. "Can you verify it?" "Sure," I said again. Longer pause. "We can now verify your date of birth..." she said with some obvious confusion in her demeanor. "Sure," I said once again. Long pause again. In fact, this was the longest pause, and long enough that I chimed back in before she could speak. "Well, are we going to verify it?" "You have to tell me so I can verify it." "You tell me what it is and I will tell you if you got it right." She hung up.