Father's Day
By Kelli M
@spiderdust (14741)
San Jose, California
June 20, 2021 11:49am CST
This is a picture of me (the baby bunny) with my dad in his parents' kitchen, probably around Easter in 1972. I don't remember my dad with a beard very much, and I've heard that he started shaving when I was very small because I would yank on his beard (I think it was also because most of the men at his church were clean-shaven, but I'll take the credit for it).
Dad and I haven't always had a good relationship, and Father's Day has always been a complicated day for me. We've been able to let some stuff go over the years and it's helped us reconnect somewhat, but we're still more distant than we'd both like, both emotionally and geographically.
Dad is 80 now. I haven't seen him since Mom's funeral last year, although I've talked to him a few times. He occasionally gets on Facebook messenger and chats with my siblings and me, which is kind of nice. I have plans to fly out and visit him in a few weeks and I'm bringing 2 of my children with me. It would be nice if I could bring everyone with me, but that isn't possible, but Otto and I will go there with my 2 youngest and we'll have some nice grandpa time with him.
This may very well be the last opportunity I have to see my dad in person. If we're lucky, it isn't, but I know there aren't many times left. I'm going to call him in a little bit after he gets home from church.
Is Father's Day a complicated day for you as well? How do you navigate it in the middle of everyone's celebrations?
14 people like this
12 responses
@DaddyEvil (137145)
• United States
20 Jun 21
I'm sorry about the complications... Maybe some of them will smooth out when you see him this time.
My dad passed when I was 15 years old. (Pretty and I will go get some cake after while and may look around to see what we feel like for our meal while at the grocery store. I don't feel like cooking today.)
I hope you're having a nice day today.
2 people like this
@spiderdust (14741)
• San Jose, California
20 Jun 21
I grew up in a fairly conservative and strict household, and I did not turn out the way my parents had hoped, hence the complications. But it's better than it used to be.
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@DaddyEvil (137145)
• United States
21 Jun 21
@spiderdust Parents can have... unlikely expectations of their kids. It's a shame, but what can you do? 
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (86754)
• United States
17 Jul 21
Respect and honor to your dear Father Kelli
Hope you see him soon then
1 person likes this
@spiderdust (14741)
• San Jose, California
21 Jul 21
If you look in my conversation thread with @DaddyEvil, you'll see a picture of me with my dad. 
@Dena91 (15860)
• United States
27 Jun 21
What a lovely picture. I hope your visit with your Dad is wonderful.
Yes father's day is complicated for me as well. After my parents divorced my father became "invisible" in my brother and mines life even though he lived 5 minutes from us. My mother was mentally unstable and beat us, and I grew to resent him for leaving us with her. He wanted his freedom from us.
Later in life he accept Jesus and tried to reconnect with me but my anger boiled over. I didn't want to let him back into my life. A friend, who was a preacher, talked with me because he knew I was depressed. He said he could see it on my face. He talked to me about forgiveness, that if Jesus forgave me He most certainly could forgive my Dad. And I needed to forgive my Dad just as God did. When I let all the years of anger go, I changed.
I contacted my Dad and we began to talk. The last 7 years of his life we had the best relationship, just like the first 7 years of my life. I am thankful for the lessons learned. I have missed my Dad since he passed away in 2006.
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@spiderdust (14741)
• San Jose, California
27 Jun 21
I'm glad you were able to reconnect, and I understand why you were angry for a long time.
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@snowy22315 (169966)
• United States
20 Jun 21
Not really, sent an ecard this morning and will call later. My dad and I have a distant but pleasant relationship for the most part. Sadly, he is 84 and has dementia now..
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (57674)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
20 Jun 21
Call it Sunday, and just go about my day. Both my husband and I lost our fathers, so we call it Sunday and move on. We have to. My husband is at work, just as if it were any other Sunday.
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@prashu228 (37526)
• India
20 Jun 21
I don't have a complicated relationship. Glad you are visiting your dad. Have a nice day
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@GreatMartin (23677)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
24 Jun 21
Not a hard day for me at all--'divorced' my family when I was 16 and never looked back.
1 person likes this
@pandawrites (168)
• Hubli, India
20 Jun 21
I understand that it is really difficult for the mid to stay at ease, when everyone around you keep posting about how much they love their dads, how their fathers are with them all the times and not to forget, all the cute and happy photos.
But I am happy to hear you are trying to actively trying to engage with him along with your family.It is a really healthy choice as the memories of grandparents is special for children. And I hope you don't really regret the distance between you and your dad for the past years It was for the best. I will pray for you and your father
.
Also yeah, it is complicated for me to celebrate father's day sometimes. Because my dad has a set of principles he needs everyone at house to follow. I don't really follow them and he is not very happy with me because of that.
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