Father's Day

@spiderdust (10962)
San Jose, California
June 20, 2021 11:49am CST
This is a picture of me (the baby bunny) with my dad in his parents' kitchen, probably around Easter in 1972. I don't remember my dad with a beard very much, and I've heard that he started shaving when I was very small because I would yank on his beard (I think it was also because most of the men at his church were clean-shaven, but I'll take the credit for it). Dad and I haven't always had a good relationship, and Father's Day has always been a complicated day for me. We've been able to let some stuff go over the years and it's helped us reconnect somewhat, but we're still more distant than we'd both like, both emotionally and geographically. Dad is 80 now. I haven't seen him since Mom's funeral last year, although I've talked to him a few times. He occasionally gets on Facebook messenger and chats with my siblings and me, which is kind of nice. I have plans to fly out and visit him in a few weeks and I'm bringing 2 of my children with me. It would be nice if I could bring everyone with me, but that isn't possible, but Otto and I will go there with my 2 youngest and we'll have some nice grandpa time with him. This may very well be the last opportunity I have to see my dad in person. If we're lucky, it isn't, but I know there aren't many times left. I'm going to call him in a little bit after he gets home from church. Is Father's Day a complicated day for you as well? How do you navigate it in the middle of everyone's celebrations?
14 people like this
12 responses
@DaddyEvil (47955)
• United States
20 Jun
I'm sorry about the complications... Maybe some of them will smooth out when you see him this time. My dad passed when I was 15 years old. (Pretty and I will go get some cake after while and may look around to see what we feel like for our meal while at the grocery store. I don't feel like cooking today.) I hope you're having a nice day today.
2 people like this
@spiderdust (10962)
• San Jose, California
20 Jun
I grew up in a fairly conservative and strict household, and I did not turn out the way my parents had hoped, hence the complications. But it's better than it used to be.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (47955)
• United States
21 Jun
@spiderdust Parents can have... unlikely expectations of their kids. It's a shame, but what can you do?
1 person likes this
@spiderdust (10962)
• San Jose, California
17 Jul
I got to see him!
2 people like this
@CarolDM (145981)
• United States
20 Jun
Not complicated. My Dad passed in 2017. Another Sunday. Cute photo.
2 people like this
@sjvg1976 (26347)
• Delhi, India
20 Jun
Yes it's been complicated now as we have a clash between us due to some property issues.
2 people like this
@nzlz123 (3817)
• Indonesia
20 Jun
Little you were sooo cuteee
2 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (36127)
• Wheat Ridge, Colorado
17 Jul
Respect and honor to your dear Father Kelli Hope you see him soon then
1 person likes this
@spiderdust (10962)
• San Jose, California
21 Jul
If you look in my conversation thread with @DaddyEvil, you'll see a picture of me with my dad.
@Dena91 (14595)
• United States
27 Jun
What a lovely picture. I hope your visit with your Dad is wonderful. Yes father's day is complicated for me as well. After my parents divorced my father became "invisible" in my brother and mines life even though he lived 5 minutes from us. My mother was mentally unstable and beat us, and I grew to resent him for leaving us with her. He wanted his freedom from us. Later in life he accept Jesus and tried to reconnect with me but my anger boiled over. I didn't want to let him back into my life. A friend, who was a preacher, talked with me because he knew I was depressed. He said he could see it on my face. He talked to me about forgiveness, that if Jesus forgave me He most certainly could forgive my Dad. And I needed to forgive my Dad just as God did. When I let all the years of anger go, I changed. I contacted my Dad and we began to talk. The last 7 years of his life we had the best relationship, just like the first 7 years of my life. I am thankful for the lessons learned. I have missed my Dad since he passed away in 2006.
1 person likes this
@spiderdust (10962)
• San Jose, California
27 Jun
I'm glad you were able to reconnect, and I understand why you were angry for a long time.
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@GreatMartin (19785)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
24 Jun
Not a hard day for me at all--'divorced' my family when I was 16 and never looked back.
1 person likes this
• Hubli, India
20 Jun
I understand that it is really difficult for the mid to stay at ease, when everyone around you keep posting about how much they love their dads, how their fathers are with them all the times and not to forget, all the cute and happy photos. But I am happy to hear you are trying to actively trying to engage with him along with your family.It is a really healthy choice as the memories of grandparents is special for children. And I hope you don't really regret the distance between you and your dad for the past years It was for the best. I will pray for you and your father . Also yeah, it is complicated for me to celebrate father's day sometimes. Because my dad has a set of principles he needs everyone at house to follow. I don't really follow them and he is not very happy with me because of that.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (23477)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
20 Jun
Call it Sunday, and just go about my day. Both my husband and I lost our fathers, so we call it Sunday and move on. We have to. My husband is at work, just as if it were any other Sunday.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (118268)
• United States
20 Jun
Not really, sent an ecard this morning and will call later. My dad and I have a distant but pleasant relationship for the most part. Sadly, he is 84 and has dementia now..
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@prashu228 (32063)
• India
20 Jun
I don't have a complicated relationship. Glad you are visiting your dad. Have a nice day
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@Shiva49 (22592)
• Singapore
20 Jun
My dad is no more for many years and we did not celebrate it when he was alive. I had a close relationship with my parents. Good that you are planning to visit your dad.
1 person likes this