Very Weird Wedding, She Wants It All
By Marie Coyle
July 22, 2021 1:14pm CST
So, a friend is getting married soon. I need to mention this friend (I have known her family for years as our families were friends) has, I think, been married 7 times. Some lasted a few years. Some lasted a few months. I think one lasted a week. She falls in love like you and I change our clothes. Very often. So now she is saying she is going to marry yet another fellow. She is having a wedding where everyone is supposed to bring everything--if you want alcohol, bring what you want. She wants you to bring a large dish to share, as she isn't cooking, nor is she spending the money to have anyone else do it. Oh, and the kicker here is, she asked for gifts. I also heard she is planning a big box on the gift table for people to drop money in, so they can have the money for a honeymoon. I haven't been in her present home, but I do know she lives very well. She always has a new car. She always has new furniture, up to date clothing for herself and all of her many children. All of her ex's pay their child support. She always has money for anything that she thinks she wants. She recently paid cash for breast enlargements. If there is a beauty treatment she does not get on a regular basis, I don't know what it would be. Is this common? I've never known anyone to be so forward to just ask for gifts and food. Shouldn't you have the wedding you can afford to have, or the wedding YOU want to pay for? If you can't pay for it or don't want to, can't a person just go to a courthouse to be married, or make it family only? Yes, I'm invited. I don't think I will be able to go due to other commitments, but if I didn't have conflicts I don't think I want to. It's like marriage is sort of considered just something to do, or a reason to ask people to bring you food and presents. I don't consider myself stuck-up or better than anyone else, I know I am not. But somehow I don't consider this to be smart, and definitely not very classy.
4 people like this
• Los Angeles, California
Tacky and nervy, right - especially since knowing her situation. Wedding guests are there to help celebrate the joy of this union, not to bring the party itself . It all just makes her seem greedy. I recently got a text invite from a friend who just moved. She was having 2 separate housewarming party time shifts, in case you couldn't make it to one. She said the same thing about bringing a big dish to share and a gift. I know how she and her parties are . . . I just didn't go .
• Los Angeles, California
@MarieCoyle Right. I would probably bring a gift anyway, but that's not the point - it's not something that needs to be expressed in the invite. I have seen it where couples with their 2nd or beyond weddings (or older couples) say "In lieu of gifts . . . " ask to please donate to their charity choice. They don't need any more household gifts as they already have everything they need.
Yes. If you have all of your household needs, the rest is just extra, anyway. Donating to a worthy cause is a good gesture. I went to a 60th anniversary dinner of my aunt and uncle. They are far from wealthy, but they have all they need. They said, please no gifts, but if you want to give something, please donate to the animal rescue we have chosen to help. I thought that was really nice.
• United States
The good thing is that it is her wedding and she gets to do what most brides do to plan their wedding. I would not ever attend a wedding. I did once and it was beautiful but a lie. I swore off them after that. Marriage is not what it used to be and after so many divorces it is no secret. Even if she wants the best or the worst wedding it is hers to choose. I hope one day she finds lasting love because choosing a partner to spend the rest of your life with is risky on both ends. I have been aware of many weddings where you bring your own bottle. The cost for some to go just for food and drinks is crazy. I guess she has all she needs because she knows how to be frugal. You get one life. it is best to live it since tomorrow is not promised to anyone.
While I do agree that many marriages end in divorce, I do also know many couples who have been together for a long time and seem very happy together. I do know if you want a marriage to work, both partners have to work together to make it happen, not just one. But I do get your point, for sure.