Picking your battles
@sprite1950 (30461)
Corsham, England
October 18, 2021 1:51am CST
Raising a teen isn't easy. It's a time when they are becoming independent and think that adults are put on this earth purely to spoil their fun.
Although my soon to be 15 year old granddaughter has many good qualities we have a never ending battle about the time she should be in at night. I like her to be in before dark or at least be in the area we live in. She thinks I am too strict and should let her out later. In the summer when the nights are light it's not such a problem but now the darker nights are here we are having constant arguments.
What does everyone think? Am I being too strict?
10 people like this
9 responses
@DaddyEvil (174405)
• United States
18 Oct 21
Honestly, it depends... On the weekends, I let Pretty stay out until 10 pm, as long as I knew where she'd be and who she was with. On school nights, after her homework was done, she could be out until 7 pm, again, as long as I knew where she was and who she was with. (Yes, occasionally, I made spot checks to make sure she was where and with whom she'd told me... She hated it, but other kids will always try to "trick" a parent or guardian, just to test things.)
Please remember, Pretty is 33 now, so things weren't as bad then as they are now.
3 people like this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
18 Oct 21
The thing is she wants to hang out in town sometimes which is a half hour walk from where we live and I don't think it's good. What can a 15 year old do after everything is shut. She's never been in any trouble (apart from coming home drunk once and throwing up in the bed
) but I don't want her hanging around in a group in the middle of town.
) but I don't want her hanging around in a group in the middle of town.2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
18 Oct 21
@DaddyEvil I sold my car so can't go and get her at the moment and I know she would kick off even if I did try to get her. She's a bit feisty at times.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (174405)
• United States
18 Oct 21
@sprite1950 I see. We lived in town and her friends lived close to us.
Yeah, she needs to be home before it gets dark unless someone is driving her.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (128835)
• Gainesville, Florida
30 Oct 21
You're not being overly strict, I think it's reasonable to ask a minor to be home before dark, or shortly thereafter. Maybe you can compromise with her, and let her stay out later on weekends, and during summer nights. Also, you may offer her a deal where you extend her privileges each time she shows she can be trusted, follow directions, and make mature decisions.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
30 Oct 21
The good thing is she keeps in touch with me by phone and lets me know what is going on so I always know she is safe. I'm happy with her being out later if she stays in the area we live and is not alone but she often wants to go to town which is a half hour walk from where we live. That's fine in the day but not at night when the pubs are open.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
31 Oct 21
@moffittjc She made herself ill once and it has put her off drinking ever since, at least I haven't noticed her coming in drunk since it happened.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (128835)
• Gainesville, Florida
31 Oct 21
@sprite1950 Maybe she's visiting those pubs! haha
Does she walk when she goes to town?
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
26 Oct 21
We are more relaxed in this country compared to other countries but I worry about her safety and don't like her out in the dark.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
19 Oct 21
Sometimes and I notice recently that she will come and sit with me in my room and talk which for some time has been missing. I think the eye rolling is getting less
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
18 Oct 21
If I'm too strict it will cause a lot of problems between us and I don't want that.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
18 Oct 21
That's what I have told her. It would not take a minute to drag a girl of her size into a car but she just thinks I am being over protective. To be fair, I think women are always vulnerable no matter what age they are.
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (208881)
• United States
18 Oct 21
I guess it sort of depends on what she is doing and who she is with.
@Vree0937 (3878)
• Indonesia
18 Oct 21
Teens is in their rebellion phase. But like my parents did, invited all my friend to home rather than we're sitting in random places. Then we took turn to hang out in our friend's circle. I was thinking to do the same with my son later on when he grow up, but not sure how it will implies to millenial generations
