Husband # 2, for those still interested
By bonnie
@bunnybon7 (50970)
Holiday, Florida
February 12, 2022 12:39pm CST
I had left Bud and went to my aunts, planning on finding an apartment soon as I could come up with some money. My down stairs neighbor, Sharon, had been a friend of mine for a while and she told her brother Gary I was looking to get an apartment. He showed up at my aunts to talk. Said I could bring the kids and move in with him so Bud would not know where to find me. No strings attached.
Though he said he'd always had a big crush on me. 
I really wanted some time to think things through without Bud coming to beg me back so I moved to Gary's house. He had always been such a nice guy from what I saw.
To make this shorter, I got a divorce not long after that with a few mishaps before it was final. I married Gary without realizing how messed up his mind was from being in the Vietnam war and childhood abuse.
I soon had the daughter I live with now. She's the only good thing that came from that marriage. This husband not only drank and cheated, but beat me. 
I had 4 children by this time and I finally threw him out ( with police there) the night my 4 year old daughter climbed up on her daddys lap and asked him, "Why did you purple mommy's eye ?"
When it's hurting your kids, it's time to quit. Right?
I really wanted some time to think things through without Bud coming to beg me back so I moved to Gary's house. He had always been such a nice guy from what I saw.
To make this shorter, I got a divorce not long after that with a few mishaps before it was final. I married Gary without realizing how messed up his mind was from being in the Vietnam war and childhood abuse.
I soon had the daughter I live with now. She's the only good thing that came from that marriage. This husband not only drank and cheated, but beat me.
I had 4 children by this time and I finally threw him out ( with police there) the night my 4 year old daughter climbed up on her daddys lap and asked him, "Why did you purple mommy's eye ?"
When it's hurting your kids, it's time to quit. Right?16 people like this
20 responses
@kobesbuddy (78833)
• East Tawas, Michigan
12 Feb 22
Old baggage needs to be forgiven and forgotten. Then, one can start moving forward, towards a new future. How did I learn this? Through one bad experience and a painful divorce.
5 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Feb 22
Divorce is always so painful even when you know you did all you could because of the kids and all. Even if you've fallen out of love, it's sad. You still feel like you some how failed. 
5 people like this
@kobesbuddy (78833)
• East Tawas, Michigan
12 Feb 22
@bunnybon7 I was definitely in love with Bruce. He loved his bottle more than our family.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Feb 22
@kobesbuddy yes you was the only one trying to make the marriage happy.
2 people like this
@shaggin (74988)
• United States
2 Mar 22
@bunnybon7 I think your just too nice and probably that makes you gullible and easy to take advantage of.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
2 Mar 22
@shaggin they kept talking me into it and making me think they would change for the better and instead they got worse toward me. except for the last one. I just have the worst luck in the world. or maybe I'm just a stupid person.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
14 Feb 22
true. When I first started out with him my aunt and several people said he seemed very nice and that he looked like he had finesse. I assumed that meant clean cut and charming. So yes I was so surprised when he started hitting me and even that was not hard at first. But he progressed as time went on.
2 people like this
@askme123 (6223)
•
14 Feb 22
@bunnybon7 Thank God you are out of that abusive relationship.Is he still alive?
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
15 Feb 22
@askme123 yes been married to his second wife 30 some yrs now,
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
14 Feb 22
matter of fact he did but not as bad.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
15 Feb 22
@sol_cee it's ok. At least I survived.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
15 Feb 22
@RubyHawk I was afraid I would need them for things I couldn't do. and I hated being alone when I was young. Also just like with that second one, I was afraid of what he would do. I had no place to go but with that one,I was so fed up, I decided to get it over with. No matter.
2 people like this
@RubyHawk (99367)
• Atlanta, Georgia
14 Feb 22
@bunnybon7 So many women put-up with abuse because they are afraid they won’t be able to care for their children financially. And it is hard.
2 people like this
@sweetashoney (3597)
• United States
12 Feb 22
I read your last one and was waiting for this one. Again I say I don't blame you a bit! My father used to beat my mother and I seen her with many black eyes and busted lips. She finally was able to get out of it when he turn his attention onto his girls, if you know what I mean. He was locked up for a long time and one of my sisters and I were put in foster care. That's what some people don't understand, over time the abuse only gets worse and then some start abusing other members of the family.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Feb 22
I know what you mean after the kids were grown, I found out that he had abused one of them in another way and told them not to tell anyone. If I had known not only would I have put him in jail but would have at least stop loving him for so long after he was made to leave. 
If I had known not only would I have put him in jail but would have at least stop loving him for so long after he was made to leave. @bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Feb 22
@sweetashoney that's true. and there are more reasons. Like the cops couldn't arrest him because I had to go to the courthouse first and sign a complaint. If I remember correctly all they could do was ask him to leave until I let him come back.
I don't really remember all of it. I remember being really scared but determined. I was so exhausted tho, I fell asleep on the couch watching the door.
I woke up at 3 am with him trying to hug me and crying and saying he was sorry. I pushed him away and told him, he might as well kill me now because come morning, I would get to that court house if I had to crawl and put him in jail.
He left after that. 
@sweetashoney (3597)
• United States
12 Feb 22
@bunnybon7 I think a lot of the reasons why some women stayed with these abusive man back in the sixties and before that is because it was hard for a woman to make it on her own with children. Back then some women just flelt like they had not other chose. I know that my mother had to get remarried before they would even let her get up back out of fostercare. Because she was a single parent, they would not let her have us.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (40026)
• Toccoa, Georgia
12 Feb 22
After two failed marriages, did you find the right one or are you single?
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
14 Feb 22
It is harder then you think to leave. Many reasons they go back. It took a lot of courage believe me.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (254949)
• United States
14 Feb 22
@bunnybon7 Yes, it is hard. I’m so glad you used your courage to get out before it was too late. So many return
1 person likes this
@DianneN (254949)
• United States
14 Feb 22
@bunnybon7 Omg! You had no choice but to get away from him anyway you could. How scary for you, and I totally understand mistake #3. 
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
13 Feb 22
Nothing surprises you like having some one that has claimed to love you suddenly start knocking you down and punching you when you don't even know what it's for or what you done wrong. Usually it was jealousy even for just looking at some one or answering them when they spoke to you.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (381960)
• Rockingham, Australia
13 Feb 22
@bunnybon7 It's such cowardly behaviour for starters.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
13 Feb 22
@JudyEv just so hard to understand their thinking. And I can't figure why I fell for such guys in the first place. My mom was always the abusive one in her marriages. So it wasn't taught to me.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
13 Feb 22
Should quit before kids find out and get hurt. But glad you got out.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
13 Feb 22
I know but at this point, I really had no place to go and I was afraid of him. I was not sure he would not come back either once the cops left. which he did. People who have not dealt with such a violent person never understand.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
14 Feb 22
@Courtlynn I took mine and went far away and sorry to say she didn't see her daddy from 4 yrs old till she was 32 yrs. But it's what I had to do.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
14 Feb 22
@bunnybon7 i have dealt with it. And still dont to an extent (when kids are involved)
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (222280)
• United States
13 Feb 22
Sounds bad all the way around. I knew my husband for 4 years before we got married and have been together 55 years, married 51. Sometimes it pays to wait.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (222280)
• United States
14 Feb 22
@bunnybon7 Sorry that the good one passed away. :-(
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
13 Feb 22
At the time I was trying to avoid what happened anyway too soon. That was my husband walking over and standing outside the window, begging me to talk with him. I would have went back and likely ended up back in the same position sooner but then, I often wonder if I shouldn't have stuck it out with that first one.
Hind sight is golden as they say.
Hind sight is golden as they say.1 person likes this
@gnatsmom (2575)
•
12 Feb 22
Mothers nor children need to be with men who are abusive. God wants women to be treated like treasures. Boys who see fathers abusing often become abusers and little girls who witness that often marry abusers. It is a never ending cycle that has to be broken and many times, divorce is the first step to breaking that pattern. See yourself through God's eyes and don't settle for anyone who treats you less than God's best.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
12 Feb 22
that should be taught to all children growing up. Problem is too many don't realize it. I know I didn't in time for my kids. 
I know I didn't in time for my kids. 1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
14 Feb 22
of course that was a couple weeks into us dating. He made me think he really loved me with those eyes.
1 person likes this
