I Hate When My Sister Outmans Me
@crossbones27 (52905)
Mojave, California
February 12, 2022 9:15pm CST
I was out back smoking in the clean fresh warm so nice California air. Then I see movement. I am like a wolf, like a hungry hyena looking for for some good food or just to mess a fool up.
Then I get close ready to make the kill, oh crap that is a spider. Homie does not play with spiders. One bit me and had nasty staph infection. My arm lucky still have it but did make a good club how swelled it got. Not poison, well in way but bacteria.
It was creepy too because would tickle that was bacteria impregnating itself.
Anyway, I went and told my sister there is a huge spider and he looks scary just walking down sidewalk. She said just step on it. I go I am barefoot.
She grabs her flashlight, I go look its right there. It was pretty big, was a male black widow. Not the female kind the one that can actually costs limbs and maybe a life, but bet male black widow is one that bit me because they are everywhere here. The females keep to themselves and males but so populated you will just run into them eventually.
My sister instantly grabbed a broom and smashed the poor fool and was like just saved your brother to my brother because he was to scared. I could not help but laugh even though think she broke my man hood. 
5 people like this
5 responses
@crossbones27 (52905)
• Mojave, California
13 Feb 22
They not that big, black widows. Males bigger than females say twice the size and they are pretty harmless other than they impregnate the female ones obviously. Anyway this guy was good size he been around for a while and just strolling no one messes with me till he got that broom to the face.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (174405)
• United States
13 Feb 22
Before you believe what Crossbones is trying to tell you, you might like to know that female black widow spiders are bigger than the males of their species.
"Female black widow spiders are about . 5 inch long, to about 1.5 inches long when the legs are spread. Males are about half the female's size, with smaller bodies and longer legs." Excerpt taken from:
https://www.desertusa.com/insects/black-widow-spider.html#:~:text=Female%20black%20widow%20spiders%20are,smaller%20bodies%20and%20longer%20legs.
1 person likes this
@crossbones27 (52905)
• Mojave, California
13 Feb 22
@DaddyEvil So it was a female screw that haha
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (174405)
• United States
13 Feb 22
I'm mostly laughing about being scared of a little spider but a little bit about you smoking in the nice fresh polluted California air!2 people like this
@crossbones27 (52905)
• Mojave, California
13 Feb 22
That was genius right brother haha .
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (174405)
• United States
13 Feb 22
@crossbones27 If the spider, of whatever kind, is inside the house, Pretty will scream and scream at me to kill it! Or, she tells me to take it outside and let it loose, which is the same as killing it. A spider that lives inside a house can't survive outside, so people might as well kill them anyway.
If she encounters a spider outside, I've seen her get a piece of paper, catch the spider and move it somewhere else outside so she doesn't have to break it's web when she's walking around. Pretty can be so strange! 
If the spider, of whatever kind, is inside the house, Pretty will scream and scream at me to kill it! Or, she tells me to take it outside and let it loose, which is the same as killing it. A spider that lives inside a house can't survive outside, so people might as well kill them anyway.
If she encounters a spider outside, I've seen her get a piece of paper, catch the spider and move it somewhere else outside so she doesn't have to break it's web when she's walking around. Pretty can be so strange! 2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (174405)
• United States
13 Feb 22
@crossbones27 Black widows usually just move around in the Spring, hunting for mates. They can run but usually don't because animals know to leave them alone. People, on the other hand, aren't smart enough to leave the poor spiders alone.
1 person likes this
@crossbones27 (52905)
• Mojave, California
13 Feb 22
Amen but you not worried about my manhood. Not even a little come on can I get a little support. This world going to make a man out of me one day yet.
1 person likes this
@healerWitch (417)
• Portugal
13 Feb 22
I've been through staph infection, lingered for years! Nasty and painful thing to have (and it can turn deadly too). Caught it in a hospital in a not so sanitized place in Pakistan.
Both me and my husband have no problems with spiders, roaches etc (although haven't seen any yet in Portugal).
Where I outman my husband is when he's having trouble opening jars.
1 person likes this
@crossbones27 (52905)
• Mojave, California
13 Feb 22
I actually have no problems with them either unless they bite me. Roaches kind of gross looking and Spiders kind of scary looking. Other than that do not bite me and will never talk smack.
That is funny about the jars, I need help too can you get this jelly jar. 
That is funny about the jars, I need help too can you get this jelly jar. 1 person likes this
