I'm Quite Glad With the Outcome

@flapiz (22403)
United Kingdom
February 13, 2022 12:36pm CST
So I spoken to my boyfriend today. And I flat out asked him if he still loves me and not just pitied me and he said yes. I asked him if he's unattracted to me and he said no. I asked him if there's someone else and he said no. He just said that he really does not know what's going on he feels like something is wrong but he can't pin point it. And he said to be honest when I left on Friday he was glad. And he doesn't know why. He says maybe there's something wrong with him. He needed more time to really think about it. I told him if he wants to break up I'd be okay. I love him and if letting him go will make him happier I'm sort of at peace with it already. He just can't decide yet. He's saying he doesn't want to say anything until he's thought about it as he did not want to regret it. So although I did not get an answer yet I am at least less bothered by stuff. And not too resentful about him. I think my mum's advise made me realise that no matter what I will thrive on and be okay.
7 people like this
7 responses
@RebeccasFarm (84363)
• Wheat Ridge, Colorado
13 Feb 22
I am so sorry to hear this is happening. I hope it turns out for the best for you. And yes either way, you are definitely a survivor, but at the same time, this is sad. I hope things turn around for you both.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
13 Feb 22
Thank you Rebecca I was sadder a couple of days ago. I feel like my heart will heal.
1 person likes this
• Wheat Ridge, Colorado
13 Feb 22
@flapiz Yes it is a blow alright, I can understand.
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@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
13 Feb 22
@RebeccasFarm I do appreciate how honest he's been with me.
1 person likes this
• Nairobi, Kenya
15 Feb 22
It will be good to give him space to think. It would have been better if he were committed to you before you lived together as husband and wife.
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@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
15 Feb 22
Yeah with this incident actually it led me to wonder if he even knows how to commit properly. As now I feel like he just suddenly dropped a bomb to my face. But then if he really is confused I appreciate the honesty.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
15 Feb 22
@mildredtabitha Were not married we are just boyfriend and girlfriend but I was thinking we would someday but not after this.
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• Nairobi, Kenya
15 Feb 22
@flapiz Marriage is the best commitment but people still do go through divorce. So I can't state which would be better for you to follow. You can always work things out in your relationship. There are always ups and downs. But you can't force anyone to stay if they want to leave. I wish you all the best.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (454912)
• Switzerland
14 Feb 22
You have been so kind with him, you are doing your best to give him a chance and not to push him to take a decision. May be he only needs an alone time to think what to do. I hope you feel better now.
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@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
14 Feb 22
I do feel a lot better now as those questions were poisoning my mind and making me feel worthless. Anyhow I am trying to be understanding towards him as I can really see and hear from his voice that he doesn't understand himself. No matter what he decides I'd be okay. I've realised my value. And if he can't see that then I deserve someone who will. I did make a promise to him before couple of months ago he asked me "please don't let me push you away". I'm trying to keep that promise but not at the expense of my mental health and my self worth.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
14 Feb 22
@LadyDuck yeah I'm giving him his time and space and meanwhile I'm taking care of me and finding new things to learn.
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@LadyDuck (454912)
• Switzerland
14 Feb 22
@flapiz - You are so wise and so good. He made a promise, this means he doubted of himself also some months ago. I agree that you cannot maintain your promise at the too high cost of lose your health. I know you feel better now.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (323672)
• Rockingham, Australia
13 Feb 22
I agree with Sharon that perhaps he just needs a bit of space at the moment. Vin and I split for for 18 months or so but by then I guess we had both matured a bit and we got together again. And the rest, as they say, is history.
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@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
13 Feb 22
I am giving him his space. I really just needed to ask him those questions above as it was making me feel bad about myself. At this point I'm on self preservation mode and I'm starting to just feel like I need to think more of myself and let him be. If I don't make him happy I'd graciously let go.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
14 Feb 22
@JudyEv Thank you. I feel genuinely lighter now. It's nice to be reminded of my self worth. My mum made me thought about it when she said " I know you love him but can you handle him treating you like this everytime he encounters a problem. It looks easy now but you will burn out and get exhausted and feel no more."
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@JudyEv (323672)
• Rockingham, Australia
14 Feb 22
@flapiz I think you are doing the right thing and wish you all the best.
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@db20747 (43405)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
13 Feb 22
Yes, no pressure. Maybe he's got cold feet
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@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
13 Feb 22
Well maybe or maybe he needs to work on himself.
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@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
13 Feb 22
@db20747 I still want him back but at this point I'm feeling like I love myself more and he's not really showing me he values me.
@db20747 (43405)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
13 Feb 22
@flapiz what do you like about him? At this point would you want him back?
1 person likes this
@reti_9 (386)
• Philippines
14 Feb 22
I'll be here if you need me cousin.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
15 Feb 22
Thank you. I am glad to have family in this tough time.
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@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
15 Feb 22
@reti_9 of course that's how families should be.
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@reti_9 (386)
• Philippines
15 Feb 22
Cousin @flapiz its the least I can do. You've done enough to me without knowing it.
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@CarolDM (203478)
• Nashville, Tennessee
13 Feb 22
There is an old saying that I believe in... If you love something let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever.
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@flapiz (22403)
• United Kingdom
13 Feb 22
True that. Also I love myself too. If the person won't choose me, I deserve someone who would.
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@CarolDM (203478)
• Nashville, Tennessee
13 Feb 22
@flapiz Very true.
1 person likes this