Should I start dating again?

@flapiz (19218)
United Kingdom
February 23, 2022 3:57pm CST
A lot of people are pushing me to start dating again. But I feel like it's too soon. I'm hoping to wait 3 months. But I was told I'm not getting any younger and I should have fun. Now I'm really torn. What's the right time frame to date after a break up?
14 people like this
18 responses
• United States
23 Feb
Whenever YOU feel it's right. Don't pay attention to others pushing you into what they think you should do. Do what YOU feel is best. There is no time frame that needs to be observed after a break up.
4 people like this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
23 Feb
I don't know if a new male attention would help me feel better about myself but I don't want to use people to heal. Because it's unfair.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb
@Vikingswest1 I will definitely be honest to the new person I meet because I am emotionally still healing. You are very wise.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Feb
@flapiz Don't take a breakup to mean you should feel bad about yourself. You don't need a partner in order to make you feel better. You already have what you need to feel better. You have moved on from a relationship that wasn't working. That's a good thing. You recognize it. Many people stay in relationships like that. Move past it and look forward to the new opportunities ahead. There might be a good match for you in your life right now. It would be a shame to miss out because you felt you had to wait. If you're honest with new people about the healing you feel that you need, they may just be willing to help you. You wouldn't be using them, they would be helping YOU. It would be fair that way.
2 people like this
• United States
23 Feb
I like Gill @gillygirl take some time for yourself, don't let people rush you into it.
3 people like this
• United States
23 Feb
@flapiz To me that would be the best thing. So many people end up in bad relationships because as soon as they get out of one they jump right into another. Don't be in a hurry, you'll know when your ready to start dating again, no one should push you into it.
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
23 Feb
Thank you. I'm planning to meet up friendly dates and see if I'm ready enough. I don't feel like I am there yet emotionally I want to process my grief properly.
@Gillygirl (47337)
• Sutton, England
23 Feb
@sweetashoney @flapiz I don't know why but some friends need to see other women as part of a couple. This does lead to unnecessary pressure
@kareng (49160)
• United States
24 Feb
Deep breath! Relax. You will know if your heart when it is time. I don't think it is a given time, just be ready to know how you feel and let your heart tell you it is time. Does this make sense?
1 person likes this
@kareng (49160)
• United States
24 Feb
@flapiz Good deal! Just don't close yourself off. Be open to new opportunities when they come knocking and don't take any pressure from anyone. You know yourself better than they do!
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb
@kareng I know I am trying to be more open this time as a week has passed and I don't feel like my ex misses me.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb
It does make sense. I will try to meet people and see how I go but I won't pressure myself to jump to the next relationship yet.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (46599)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
23 Feb
You should do what you feel is right for you. Don't force yourself if you're not ready. You'll know when you're ready.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (46599)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
23 Feb
@flapiz It's definitely not an easy period. Take some time to focus on you. Don't feel bad about yourself.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb
@dodo19 It's strange cause sometimes I'm perfectly okay and then there are days where I feel really miserable.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
23 Feb
I know. Part of me wants to date part of me still hanging on. And I feel bad about myself.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (47337)
• Sutton, England
23 Feb
I would say have a little break first. But there isn't really a time frame you could meet Mr Right when you least expect too
3 people like this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
23 Feb
I feel like I should undergo the grieving process properly but then my mates are saying I'm not getting any younger and that love happens to those who are decisive in letting go of things that don't work.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (47337)
• Sutton, England
23 Feb
@flapiz Love happens when it is not forced. Go with your own heart
3 people like this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
23 Feb
@Gillygirl I will be in Bristol this weekend. I was thinking to maybe try to date or meet people. Like a friendly meet.
1 person likes this
@reti_9 (386)
• Philippines
26 Feb
One step at a time cousin. Think some things you love to do and talk to someone you truly trust and leave it behind.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
26 Feb
Reti he's giving me super mixed signals I'm really confused.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
26 Feb
@reti_9 that's what I'm doing as I have to preserve my self worth.
1 person likes this
@reti_9 (386)
• Philippines
26 Feb
@flapiz distance to the people who make you confuse its not helping for your situation. Focus the good things that happen in your life.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (130048)
• Philippines
24 Feb
I think it is too early to do this. It is best to stay single for now to prevent having a rebound thing.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb
I definitely don't want a rebound but I do think I want to see what's out there and just meet people.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb
@Shavkat too soon for that.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (130048)
• Philippines
24 Feb
@flapiz Socializing is fine but not to be intimate.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (416084)
• Switzerland
24 Feb
You do not need to date someone to have fun. Go out with your friends, enjoy life and wait until you feel that you are ready and there is someone you would like to date.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb
Thank you Ana I do want to just meet people not with the intent of dating. Just to see what's out there. I'm going to a birthday party in Bristol this weekend. I hope I meet someone interesting.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
25 Feb
@LadyDuck yeah I am single after all why not act like one.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (416084)
• Switzerland
25 Feb
@flapiz - This is a wonderful idea, meet people and have fun and when you will meet someone you really like you can decide if it's the time to start dating again.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (108486)
• Gainesville, Florida
25 Feb
I don’t think you should rush back into the dating scene. Give your heart time to heal. I don’t think you can set a timeline for dating again, just follow your heart. It will let you know when you’re ready.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
25 Feb
I'm still praying my ex would wake up. He did text me asking how I was and that he was thinking of me. And he's more than happy to Mail my things or if I would like to come over to collect them. I don't understand him and to be honest I don't know what to reply.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
26 Feb
@moffittjc I don't know he could be civil without telling me that he still thinks of me with the OBVIOUSLY. It feels so confusing for me.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (108486)
• Gainesville, Florida
26 Feb
@flapiz Wow, he breaks up with you but is still being nice to you. At least he's being civil about the whole thing. Of course, that doesn't do much to help you understand the situation any better. But it was nice of him to ask you how you're doing.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (34492)
• Philippines
24 Feb
You can’t fake real attraction. If you can feel it towards someone and if the feeling is mutual, why not try
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb
Yeah if I find the zing I will try but yeah won't hurt to meet people even just as friends.
24 Feb
You do you..and when the right time comes, you'll feel and will be drawn to it for sure. Meanwhile before all that happens, keep an open mind. The right guy will come along for you. All the best.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb
I'm trying indeed to keep an open mind as I'm still pretty in love with my ex. We just broke up a week now.
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
25 Feb
@ihasaquestion I am planning to explore Bristol well!
1 person likes this
25 Feb
@flapiz I see. Well, go out with friends and enjoy. Try to keep yourself occupied.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (197925)
• United States
23 Feb
There is no set time. You go if and when you are ready.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
23 Feb
I don't know where I got the three months rule.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (197925)
• United States
23 Feb
@flapiz You can read anything but it is entirely up to you.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb
@CarolDM yeah I'm just going to listen to how I feel.
1 person likes this
@Faster16 (3059)
• Indonesia
24 Feb
The sooner the better
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb
A lot of practical people tell me the same.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb
@Faster16 I've decided to meet people but not with intent to start a relationship but rather to see what's out there.
1 person likes this
@Faster16 (3059)
• Indonesia
24 Feb
@flapiz maybe it's the best choice for you
1 person likes this
• Australia
24 Feb
I totally agree with vikingswest; ignore anyone pushing you into dating and do what you feel is best.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb
Part of me thinks that dating will get my mind of things. I want to feel beautiful again.
@kaylachan (39587)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
23 Feb
Your heart and body will tell you. Wait for them to make the choice. Try not to let others' opinions influance you. Love just happens, as long as you let it happen, it will.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb
I don't want to force it but I am curious to try it and see how I'll feel.
@xFiacre (11034)
• Ireland
23 Feb
@flapiz There's nothing wrong with being single for a while, and surely you don't have to have a man to enjoy life. Wait till there's someone worth dating before you go down that road again and in the meantime enjoy being single.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb
Enjoying being single includes dating and meeting new people no?
@JudyEv (293326)
• Rockingham, Australia
24 Feb
I don't think there is any 'right time'. If someone attracts you and asks you out, then go. I don't get this 'not getting any younger' talk. Do your friends want to hook up with just anyone simply because you're a certain age? That's not a good idea in my book. Look after yourself.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb
Yeah I don't like hooking up. It makes me feel dirty and lonelier. I would like to genuinely meet good people though and see my options.
1 person likes this
@franxav (13225)
• India
23 Feb
Take it easy. Let your heart tell you when you should start dating again.
1 person likes this
@flapiz (19218)
• United Kingdom
24 Feb
My mind is telling me to date my heart is telling me to wait a little.