#1 - My brother's friends mock my mental health....I need help please. :(

Perth, Australia
March 13, 2022 12:37pm CST
I'm really upset and for the first time, I have finally reached a point where I don't even want to talk to my brother anymore. I have to give a back story. My brother has a beautiful dog named Charlie. I have spoken about this here and there but over the 11 years of my brother owning Charlie, he has not done the best job. Over these years, I have battled hard to get my brother to look after Charlie correctly. Such as: *You could count the amount of times he has walked him on one hand and even that was due to my brother being told to. (I have walked Charlie a lot - no thanks given). *There were some years where Charlie was washed once a year and thanks to me (though, no thanks were actually given) I would wash him but then set up a dude to wash Charlie on a regular basis professionally). *Thanks to me (no thanks actually given) I've had multiple times where I've cut knots out of Charlie as he never gets brushed by my brother. *Many occasions I refill Charlie's water bowl when there was little to none. *Thanks to me (Yep, no thanks given) I have reminded MY brother to give HIS dog his medication. *Sometimes when he comes home from work he barely acknowledges him. It's heart breaking when Charlie lays flat looking down the hall way waiting for my brother to give him attention. But he stays in his room with his precious gadgets. *And I could keep going, basically I have looked after Charlie way more than my brother ever has. I was never asked, nor have I ever been thanked for all the things I've done to look after Charlie. So many occasions including less than 3 weeks ago, I was upset that brother doesn't spend time with Charlie as Charlie has been unwell regarding his heart. You'd think after a huge important scare, with a chance of possibly putting him down (which is still possible), you'd want to soak up as much quality time as you could. My brother loves Charlie.....he cares ABOUT Charlie but he doesn't care FOR Charlie so well. He is useless. My brother only recently told me how yes he hasn't been the best and that he will do better (yeah whatever, heard this a trillion times). Basically, what I'm trying to say is, I've done a lot for my brother regarding Charlie and not regarding Charlie. Loaning money, doing his laundry, cooking meals, asking him what he wants when dad and I go shopping, you know basic considerate things. My brother has done horrible things such as lie to me....like a lot including in the past, lying about needing $600 "for bills" even though it was for a computer he wanted. And when confronting him about that? "Andrew, I don't like lies and I didn't appreciate you lying to me about that money, you lied to me about what it was for. You're working, I'm not." His response? "But I paid you back!" Not the point dude, not the point. He has said horrible things about me, to me, has lied about me and to me. But Andrew tries to spin it. Even going so far as saying bull$hit as "The reason I lie to you is because you never believe me." Yeah read that again, it's what he Said. oh and that I'm a "bi*ch for always nagging" him about Charlie. Like, nagging you or trying to help keep him alive? He does....ok with giving Charlie medication but that's not good enough! Anyway, please if you want to continue to part 2. I'm trying not to make these long. I honestly need strength, support and advice and though you can't feel it, I'm begging for help as I don't know what to do anymore.
9 people like this
7 responses
@CarolDM (203478)
• Nashville, Tennessee
13 Mar 22
Sorry to hear about your brother and the situation you are dealing with. I hope things can get worked out. We have to walk away sometimes.
1 person likes this
• Perth, Australia
3 Apr 22
@CarolDM Thank you kindly. As you know Charlie passed (so sorry for late replies, trying to catch up here) so everything has been pushed to the side but later on I still want to talk to my brother about he and his friend's behaviour as it wasn't right. I won't do it but I sort of feel like messaging his friends saying "I told you Charlie needed the vet!" but it won't do any good really. But it's tempting! I don't appreciate any of their unkind words and behaviour while I was just trying to do right by little Charlie.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203478)
• Nashville, Tennessee
3 Apr 22
@VivaLaDani13 I know about Charlie and am so very sorry. Sometimes the less said, the better. I do understand your hurt.
1 person likes this
• Perth, Australia
10 Apr 22
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (451533)
• Switzerland
15 Mar 22
I am sorry Dani. If you get a dog, the minimum you have to do is to take care of your dog. Animals have sentiments, you cannot ignore them as they were stuffed toys. You have been very good to take care of Charlie, but this poor dog feels that he is neglected by his owner. Your brother is horrible, how can he badmouth you? You have been too kind with him. I am going to read part 2.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (451533)
• Switzerland
3 Apr 22
@VivaLaDani13 Do not stress to reply to the notifications. I know you were sick and you also lost the dog you loved. Take care of yourself Dani.
1 person likes this
• Perth, Australia
3 Apr 22
@LadyDuck Thank you for your kind and supportive words. And for reading and answering all the parts. I haven't been on much but making effort tonight to be a bit more updated.
1 person likes this
• Perth, Australia
10 Apr 22
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (81896)
• Wheat Ridge, Colorado
14 Mar 22
Your brother sounds a narcissist. Mistreatment of animals is a good sign of that. Many people like the neighbors next door to me, treat their dog like trash. Sorry you are going through this Danie You can't change people like that..they are dysfunctional and cruel. You have a good heart.
1 person likes this
• Perth, Australia
3 Apr 22
@RebeccasFarm Thank you very kindly for your kind words and support. I would still like an apology from my brother but right now, I've pushed that all to the side as poor little Charlie passed away. I am doing everything that I know is right to be there for my brother. Though he wasn't the best owner, he loved Charlie and is heartbroken. We are all heartbroken. Later on down the track I'd like to talk with my brother about his and his friend's behaviour but for now Charlie's passing and the grief is more important.
@moffittjc (117745)
• Gainesville, Florida
14 Mar 22
I hate hearing what you are going through and what you are feeling. I think what makes it even harder is the fact you both live in the same house together, so good or bad you have to deal with him. I hope there is an amicable solution to your dilemma.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (117745)
• Gainesville, Florida
3 Apr 22
@VivaLaDani13 You are doing the right thing. In times of mourning, the last thing people should be doing is arguing or creating more drama or controversy. There's a time and place for that, but not when someone is heartbroken. Love, kindness, understanding and empathy are what is called for in these situations. And that is what you are providing. That's why I love you so much!
1 person likes this
• Perth, Australia
10 Apr 22
@moffittjc Aw thank you kindly Jeff. I really needed to read something just like that. Thank you. It will still be discussed as it's eating away at me but yeah, not right now. Hope you're well and sorry for late reply (again). Going to try hard tonight to catch up.
1 person likes this
@just4him (300445)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Mar 22
I feel sorry for Charlie. I'm glad you're taking care of him. As for your brother, he needs to take responsibility, but probably never will. I'm sorry he lies to you and your father. That's something only he can deal with. You can't stop him from lying. However, you can confront him when he lies to you. Call him out on it. Let him know he's not pulling one over on you. I'm sorry for what you're going through with him.
1 person likes this
• Perth, Australia
3 Apr 22
@just4him Thank you kindly. More in my adult years I have been confronting my brother when he lies. At the moment, everything that had happened has been pushed to the side as sadly, little Charlie passed away. My brother and I are talking and I'm being there for him. But I won't forget how he didn't do the right thing. For now, the loss of Charlie is more important.
@JudyEv (321685)
• Rockingham, Australia
14 Mar 22
I've read all three posts but I still don't know what to say. I think you need professional help. Your brother and his friends are so out-of-line and so unkind. I really think you need to cut yourself off from all of them. They are just pulling you down. What if you offered to buy Charlie off your brother? For a pittance hopefully. He would then be yours and his treatment, etc, couldn't be used against you.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (321685)
• Rockingham, Australia
3 Apr 22
@VivaLaDani13 I still don't really know what to say to make you feel better. Certainly you were treated very badly but I don't really know what you can do about it.
1 person likes this
• Perth, Australia
3 Apr 22
@JudyEv Thank you kindly for reading all the posts and being supportive. As you know little Charlie passed (sorry for late replies, I'm trying to catch up - haven't been on much at all) so everything that happened has been pushed to the side for now. It's something I still would like to talk about with my brother but not right now. I would still like an apology some time though as the treatment I got wasn't right. From him and his friends.
1 person likes this
• Perth, Australia
10 Apr 22
@JudyEv No worries at all Judy. I am grateful for you commenting and just being supportive. Very appreciated!
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (54369)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
13 Mar 22
I don't know if I can advise you. If your brother loved his dog, he would notice and take care of him. Sounds like Charlie is more your dog and not so much his.
1 person likes this
• Perth, Australia
10 Apr 22
@kaylachan My dad and I have looked after Charlie way more. I would like an apology from my brother. At the moment, all this has been pushed to the side as little Charlie passed away. My brother is heartbroken so I'm doing what I can to be there for him but everything regarding he and his friends is something I don't appreciate and will discuss it with my brother later on.