#2 - My brother's friends mock my mental health....I need help please. :(

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Continuing on and thank you kindly for reading. Just a random story from February as it's a tad relevant. I overheard my other brother on the phone (Michael), telling Andrew to make me dinner for my birthday. Long story short I asked Andrew "Well how come you don't make me dinner?" His response, "Honestly, I just can't be bothered." I don't know why then, why at that moment after everything, but it finally sank in....I do so much for this person because I love him, he is my brother, but finally my heart broke. After all the things I've done even after all the lies, all the greed, the two faced moments, the times he should have help defend me but didn't (including when a family member in Sydney was sexually harassing me but bro just walked off)....I felt like a connection was cut. I was hurt. His birthday in December, I went above and beyond. Got him what he wanted including other random gifts, a card, dad and I split money to buy Andrew dinner and dessert and paid for bowling. Birthday before that (I think) I took time to research cake designs to have one made for him (Homer Simpson cake) and it wasn't cheap. Did I get a thank you? No. But, my birthday? I'm not ungrateful at all but Andrew put no effort in. Yes I was given money. Transferred to my bank. No card. And not even a little effort to cook me dinner for a change? I'm not joking, in the 15 plus years my dad, Andrew and I have lived here, between dad and I, we've made hundreds of meals for the family. Andrew has never made a meal for dad and I. Not once. He is a lucky guy he is. Grocery shop done for the house. Laundry done. Pet gets looked after. We help with money if he needs it for Charlie even though he has a full time job and borrows money from me, the unemployed but ok. He rarely cleans. I could go on. I'm hoping you understand. I really hope you do. This isn't a "brother and sister love." No, I have been used, taken for granted, lied to and lied about, been abandoned when I needed help and so much more. This isn't normal. And after everything with my Aunty (Explain later) I need my brother to have my back. He somehow goes from arguments of basically saying it's my fault and I "get in moods" to calmer talks of HIM saying he knows he has hurt me and will do better. The "moods" are from hurt. I'm not a bi*ch. I'm grouchy from the hurt he has caused to which he won't apologise for, there's a difference. But yesterday night....(in Part 3), is where I need the help. My mental state is....not good. I love my family. But I feel like I am dissociating but also feeling like a shell of a person. I'm not perfect but I DO give my best and try my hardest for others to be ok even while I'm struggling. I have had disrespected things to horrific things said and done to me by some family members and nowadays questioning my real reason for others (friends) who keep me around. I'm constantly trying to be here, there and everywhere for people but where are they when I'm in need? Some are fantastic. Some are....not. I don't ask for much at all. But lately, I am sad. I feel lonely. Stressed and heartbroken from things that's happening in my family now. I care too much for the world and for people but lately, I am feeling done. And I will be honest, I don't know in which way I'm feeling "done." I have depression and go through bad phases but as of late, literally what is the point of this? I don't know. I'm NOT an attention seeker nor do I want attention but, I will admit I have to vent this. Lately I've not been feeling....the best. Last night, though I've never really spoken about this here, I drank. I drank because I wanted to get drunk. I used to have a drinking problem. I am hoping that I got that out of my system. But I'm not sure. I want another drink now. Fighting it but I want it! Please, if you want to, part 3 is the explanation of what happened yesterday night.